keeping faith strong

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So, it's been a while.

I think now I'm mostly writing this book for me. Mostly it's to see how my faith has grown.

Lately, I haven't felt God's presence as much as I would like. Maybe it's because I'm not making an huge effort, which is entirely my fault.

It's not that I don't believe in Him anymore. I do, my belief in Him has never changed.

You know how after a church camp or a church service can make you feel so spiritually elevated? Like you're on top of the world and no one can bring you down because God is on your side and through Him, you can do anything.

It's been a while since I've had that feeling.

I'm not complaining. I know this happens to everyone. Somehow, it's expected. After the camp, we go back to our mundane lives. We fall back into the same routine. We tend to push God away.

I hate to admit it, but I've been doing this lately.

School ended a little less than a month ago for me. Finals were rough. I didn't end up with the grades I wanted. That was like a slap across the face for me, because I took pride in my grades. It proved that I wasn't dumb, that I wasn't an idiot compared to some of the kids in my grade. And I didn't get the grades I wanted. I had to deal with the feelings that followed.

It's in the past. It's done. I can't dwell on it anymore.

What I can do is focus on God.

"Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
- Romans 8:39 (NIV)

This summer, I am volunteering at the junior high ministry at my church. Today, they showed this verse. And it was like time slowed down for me.

This is what I need to remember. God is with me every single step of the way even in the darkest of times. I struggle to remember this.

That feeling of being on cloud nine after a church camp doesn't have to go away. Maybe if I simply pick up my bible, that feeling will stay with me.

Moving forward, I will be reading the book of Romans. Maybe I'll write some chapters in this book about my thoughts and what I've learned from it.

I hope you remember God is with you. Don't push Him away like I did.

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