Phan Oneshots

No regrets

Awful in every way I am so sorry

I remember the first time we spoke. I remember the first time we skyped. I remember the first time we met. I remember the first time we stayed at mine and I remember the first time we kissed, and admitted our love for each other. And i can promise you with all of my heart, that i won't EVER forget you and our memories-memories from the past, and what will become memories, but for now is the future.

Its weird isn't it, how one day you would be replying to all of my tweets, and how the next we would be chatting. Then skyping and Then meeting. staying at each others, And then finally moving in together. I should point out how somewhere between skyping and meeting i started to really like you, and how it wasn't until we met in person and i layed my eyes upon you in real life that i fell in love with you, Dan Howell.

sometimes, i wonder what would of happened if i didn't pay attention to your tweets, showing the same interests as me. where i would be if i hadn't messaged you saying 'hey we should chat more, i've noticed that we have the same interests!' i wouldn't have gotten all the opportunities that i have been given. i wouldn't of had a best friend, but most of all i wouldn't of loved you, or have the perfect life. i would of ended up having a boring life. yeah it would be fun making videos, but it also would be pointless. i would of probably felt like part of me was missing- that i was lacking something major in life. So i suppose i really don't regret sending you that message, or agreeing to give you my skype name. In fact they were probably the best decisions of my life.

Dan, im so happy you're here. Even watching you edit a video makes me smile. The thing i like about our relationship, is how its different to everyone else's. Yeah, we still have movie nights(or days) cuddled together on the sofa munching on popcorn and malteasers . We still cook food together, surprise each other with kisses and gifts. We have our little fights, which can never last long because you're a sarcastic idiot who just starts laughing if it gets serious-which of course will make it very hard for me to not laugh back at with you. But we're also best friends, making our relationship that massive bit special than other relationships

For years now our philions and danousaurs have shipped us, and have hoped phan is real. We have never told them. until now. I could tell by your face, and you could probably tell by mine, that it was the most nervous you have been in a long time (well, i suppose we always have been nervous in public in case we run into a fan, or on the radio show showing the obvious). However, the second you started speaking you seemed to perk up a lot. I gave u a smile and a thumbs up from behind your camera , encouraging you to carry on. And you/we did.

'hello internet!' you began. 'so, here i am making yet another video about shipping. yeah i know what you're thinking 'dan, is there anything you didn't say about shipping in your other video'. well, there is. and i know a lot of you will be very glad to hear this, and other maybe not so much-so weather you like i or not, deal with it because we're happy and you cant do nothing about it:)' you moved from the middle of your bed to the side, calling me over. I walked beside yo and sat next to you. We placed our hand in each others and began counting from 3 to 1.

'3' we looked at each other in the eyes. '2' we smiled at each other. '1' we turned to the camera. 'PHAN IS REAL!!' we screamed jumping up and down on the bed (in a non-sexual way, we didn't want the video to be flagged haha) still holding each others hands, and still smiling widely . We probably seemed like a bunch of 5 year olds who have found out that they're going to disney land. I suppose we were just as happy, but more. We were/are in love. and i was so glad to get that out. 4 years of keeping it in had been to long. But its ok now, they know.

'yep, phan's real- and yes its been real for some time' you said

'some time?' i repeated raising an eyebrow. 'more like a long time haha' i corrected, laughing.

You sat there laughing back, looking into my eyes and nodding. i suppose we got lost their because there is a recording for 2min 32seconds of us just staring at each other smiling, feeling a lot more happier now that they know. i suppose your probably editing it to reduce the 2 and a half minutes of us staring into each others eyes right now as you're sat next to me on your laptop editing. im surprised you haven't seen me type that hahah , you keep looking at the screen every now and then reading hat more ive written and leaning on my shoulder or giving me peck on the cheek. oh. wait. yeah you've seen. of course th second i type that you look. Any way, back to the video story.

'some time?' i repeated raising an eyebrow. 'more like a long time haha' i corrected, laughing. You looked at the camera looking slightly guiltily before carrying on

'anyway, we decided to tell you now because we have waited WAAAAAAY to long *i nodded* and we couldn't bare it any more. so yeah, this video probably won be very long, as we want to be able to make it, edit it and post it as soon as possible' he turned to me.

'we know that each person will look at this differently. some people might be pleased, others excited. we both understand that if you do not support us and homosexual people, then you will not like this. we have discussed making this video and are prepared for whatever hate we get. Because to be honest , we will probably ignore it for there is nothing you can do about us being in a relationship, as long as Dan is happy, as well as you guys who wil stand by us, then that is all i care about'

you had tears in your eyes, and couldnt help but say 'i love you phil' on camera, and rushing into my arms.

'i love you too, Dan' i replied pulling you closer and hugging you back. once again we forgot the camera was on us. after about 2 minutes of non-movement or sound except from breathing we realised.

'so that's probably all for now, and im going to edit this video as quickly but high standard as i can for you guys wanting to hear the news!, the rest-sorry mate but f*** off!' Dan said it in a jokey tone, however you could tell he was being serious. we unlocked hands to wave good bye to the camera/viewers and make heart shapes.

'bye guys!' we said in unison, waving.

'oh wait, one minute!' i quickly remembered that 'we should explain the Dan Lester picture too taken after the teen awards. ' you looked at me, with your beautiful dark eyes widening suddenly remembering too. 'oh of course!' you replied. 'it was real' you said, and cheekily winked. 'well, its becoming real in a few weeks' i said excitedly. you then turned of the camera and returned to the bed, placing your arm around me.

'I'm glad we have told them' you told me, i gave you a small kiss on the forehead letting you know i agreed with you.

sat there for a long time in each others arms before falling asleep. we slept like that for a good few hours, because by the time we woke up it was half 9 on a Tuesday. i remember you saying these exact words

'S***! s*** s*** s***! the live show! f***' you looked at me with panic in your eyes. i sat up trying to calm you 'calm down, bear, just tweet explaining you fell asleep and that an extra video is coming soon' i said. You immediately grabbed you phone from your bedside cabinet, and opened twitter. you were/had been getting loads of messages from people asking why there was no live show.

'Hey guys!so sorry there was no live show,i feel asleep- don't worry though, i finished filming a quick EXTRA video coming verryyyy soon!;) stay cool till then danosurs!' i remembered the second you put your phone down that you got plenty of replies straight away either saying 'nooooooo!' or 'you seemed in a good mood' and shortly after about 98% of replies were mentioning your mood so you tweeted

'and yes, im in a good mood. thank you for noticing (>^_^)>'

you layed back down next to me for a while before saying, 'i should rally start editing this video now and hopefully it can be up tomorrow'

and hopefully it will <3 as long as we dont fall asleep right now, cuddled on the sofa like usual.

i love you Dan. Dont ever forget that. ok? <3