Phan Oneshots

all i want

am sorry tw; depressive thoughts, implied suicide .

All I want is you to say yes. All I want it to be able to hold you in my arms forever, until the very end.
I want to be able to call you mine.
But that can't happen, can it?
I wish so much to be able to press my lips against your own, wishing you the sweet dreams you deserve. to be able to wish you a good day- everyday.
If only.
I would be the person you would turn to when you're upset and need a hug . I would be the one person that could always reassure you, regardless the amount of doubt you had stirring inside your sweet precious body.
But we both know that's impossible.
I had the chance. I knew I did at the time. but I didn't take it. I was scared, hopelessly in love.
And six years later I still am.
Phil Lester.
An angle.
A best friend.
A role model.
I love you, more than you will ever know.

but you've moved on. you have him now. and soon, a son of your own.
I am happy for you phil. I really am.
I just love you.
and it hurts to know you don't feel the same way.
so I'm sorry phil. I'm sorry for what I didn't get to give to you.
I wish I could've , but he has now.
And that's great, it really is . you've found your path in life and there's nothing in the entire world that could take it from you.
and that's magical.
Priceless.

But phil. my dear phil, please don't miss me.
I love you,
But I can't.

Phil Lester you have been my world and sunshine, but now it's time for a little rain.
I want you to be happy,
Don't come running,
Or crying.
Please.
Goodbye for now, lion.