Remembering Moments

Flashbacks

        There was one day, the morning after I found out about Jason, where the entire day was nothing but flashbacks. They weren't the good kind of flashbacks like when I remembered kissing him, they were all of memories that I would have been okay to forget.

        **We were all sitting in a church, crying and dressed in black. In the front of the church was a little white casket. The service went on as normal, the entire time I was wondering about the person in the casket. The priest called for the family to say goodbye. As we all stood up and walked to the little coffin, it hit me. Inside there was a baby girl, no older than a few months old. My baby sister.**

        As I snapped out of it, I was sobbing and couldn't hold myself together. My family knew what I looked like during a flashback and always left me alone, and my mother rushed to comfort me immediately afterwards. She explained that I had had a little sister that died of SIDS when she was two months. I couldnt stop crying even as the second flashback hit.

        **I was at some party with a boyfriend. It wasn't Ashton, so it must have been before we were together. We were both drinking and sucking face. Not like the kiss Jason and I shared, it was more out of lust than love. As we went up the stairs, we went into a room and shut the door. As we made out, his hands started to fumble with wthe button on my pants. I shoved him off, but he wouldn't stop and he was stronger than me. Luckily, another hungry couple entered the room and I was able to find my way out easily. I had almost had sex with someone I couldnt even remember.**

        I went to the bathroom to wipe away the mascara running from my now deep Violet eyes. Apparently if I had too strong of ANY emotion they turned this shade. I tried to pull myself together and went back into the living room. I couldnt stop it when I felt another one starting.

        **I was five, waiting in the hospital waiting room for my mother to come out and take me home. I was all alone, with the nurse in the reception area watching after me. I couldn't quite understand why she couldnt come out, but I saw my father come in and hug me tight before talking to the receptionist. 'Anaphylactic shock.' 'Bee sting' 'Intensive care'. I could pick out a few words, but I didn't know what they meant as I sat, crying and hoping my mother would be okay.**

        It shocked me more than it made me hurt. Each flashback lasted about ten minutes for me to snap out of fully, so I wished that I hadnt have to waste a half hour on misery already. I just wanted to go and do something at this point. Maybe stop them from coming if I was doing something more active. I told my parents I was going for a walk. They let me go and I walked out of the house. About a block away, I felt another one coming on and sat down on a bench.

        **The family cat was in my lap as she slept and my dad kept looking at me as if he was trying to figure out to tell me something that I didn't know. My mom walked over and crouched down in front of me. 'Sweetie, we have to take her away now okay.' I cried and asked her why multiple times as we took her to the backyard and buried the 17 year old cat. I cried and told them she was only sleeping, but they told me she went to heaven to be with her mommy and daddy cat.**

        I snapped out of it to see a boy, around thirteen stopped and asked me if I was okay. I tried to shrug him off and keep walking again, but he followed me. I was glad for his concern, but I honestly just wanted some space.

        "You have really pretty eyes. I've only seen purple eyes in movies and pictures.They're cool!" I thanked him and turned aroung for a minute to try and calm myself down. Maybe I could remember if I knew him, but he didn't seem familiar.

        "You're crying... Are you sure you're okay?"

        "Ugh.... Amnesia, Flashbacks, memories I don't want to remember. I'll be fine." I didn't know why I was telling him these things.