Remembering Moments

The Truth Revealed

        I was honestly shocked by his confession. I didn't know whether to run and cry or stay and listen to his explanation, but I had promised that I would let him explain. What could he have possibly meant by that? I had seen the car crash in a flashback before, so there wasn't much that he could be lying about. Despit what my heart was telling me to do, I sat across from him, nodding and urging him to go on. I felt like if he would just blurt everything out at once, it would be easier for me to endure. But I knew that whatever he had to say would never be that easy. Maybe, I hoped, he wouldn't have to explain everything. I hoped I could just have one big flashback and remember it all like I had done with Avery.

        "I just can't deal with this anymore. I've kept something about yourself away from you, and its eating away at me. I feel like you'll definitely hate me for this. I don't know what we will be afterwards, but I do love you. Just understand that I didn't want to hurt you. I love you so much Amethyst." I knew whatever he would tell me would probably bring on flashbacks of things that I wasn't ready to remember, but I knew that whatever he had been holding onto, he needed to let it out now. I braced myself for what I knew would be more painful than anything since I had woken up.

        "I know that you think it was just an accident, which it was in most aspects. I didn't want to hurt you at all. It was an accident, but it was an accident caused by me. It's going to be really hard to understand it all. I know that it seems really crazy, but you have to believe me. I don't really know how to say what I know I have to. Please be patient with me." I nodded and gazed into his eyes, searching for a glimmer of happiness, a slight sign that maybe this was all a joke, but I couldn't find it. All I saw in his eyes was sorrow. He had obviously been crying before we met, and hie beautiful eyes were plagued with bags. His bloodshot eyes looked at me sadly, and I knew that he truly regretted ever keeping this from me. 

        "The night that we crashed, or I crashed, the two of us had just left a party. It was at Luke's older brother's house. He had a college coming home thing and Luke invited you, and I was a part of you. We went everywhere together, but I wish you had gone alone now. Maybe none of this would have ever happened. So anyways, we were both at the party and for a while everything was fine, but my friend Michael got me drinking." He paused and stared at me for what seemed like hours before speaking again. "I'm really sorry if I bring on flashbacks or anything. If I do, tell me when they end so you don't have to hear anything twice. I don't want to draw this out longer than it has to be." I nodded

        "I don't either. Keep going please."

        "Okay. So the two of us ended up in a corner kissing, which we had done a bunch before, only this time I was drunk. You knew but I don't think you minded. A corner turned into a locked room and we were making out for a while before I tried more. You were fine for a bit, but then you kinda flipped out. You were justified, but it sucked then. I understand why you did it now though."

        *** Our kiss was getting more heated by the second, his tongue traveling into my mouth as my hands gripped the fabric on the chest on his shirt. He was on top of me kissing me hungrily. I didn't stop him, and I was really enjoying it actually. My hands tangled in his curls as his hands went to supporting himself at my sides. We kept going and his shirt was thrown somewhere in the room. My hands rested on his toned chest as I was pushed against a wall. I felt like I really wanted him. I felt like I was ready at the time. I loved Ashton. His hands went to the button on my jeans and I helped him to slip them off with ease. Our hands roamed over eachoher's bodies and I felt like it was time, but I froze when his hands went to my bra clasp. Was I really ready for this? I pushed him off gently, not wanting to hurt him, but also wanting him to understand I was uncomfortable.