Only in my Dreams (Book 1 of the Men with a Badge series)

Only in my Dreams (Chapter 3)

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Chapter 3

After leaving Kyle the way I did, I went to gather up my stuff in a speedy fashion to head home. I didn't want to turn him down but what else was I supposed to do? Driving home, I kept going over the scene in my head; him asking me out, me turning him down then fleeing like he had some kind of disease. The one thing I knew was I wasn't ready to date, not after all I went through. I really don't know if I would ever be ready to be honest.

Pulling up at my mother's, that was now my home again, I notice she is sitting on the porch in the swing. As soon as she sees the look on my face, she gets up and hurries to meet me.

"Honey, are you okay? You look like you're about to cry. Did your first day back to work not go so well?" She probes with a worried look crossing her brow.

"No the first day went great! I'm just a little upset with myself right now. I'm fine mother, really." I state; walking in and heading straight for the kitchen.

"Well what happen? You know you can talk to me." My mother asked.

You know that look that all mothers give; the compassion and understanding look? That was the look that momma was giving me. She didn't have any first-hand experience with what I went through but every time she looked at me since she found out was always that compassion and understanding look. If it wasn't for my mother and Katherine I don't know if I could have made it as far as I have in the last year.

"Well, like I said the first day was great. I love the kids in my class. We had a good time today but I kind of got taken by surprise this afternoon. Kyle Bryan asked me out." As I finish, I turn to look at my mother to see if she would respond.

"I see. Well, apparently he must really wanted to ask you out. What did you tell him?" She asked sitting down beside me at the kitchen table.

"I told him that I was sorry but I couldn't and walked off. I didn't know what else to do." I said starting to cry a little.

My mother grabbed my hand and squeezed just a little to get my attention.

"Amy look at me. You will not cry. You are a strong woman and this is not an issue to cry over. So, he asked you out. He's a good man and a good father. Baby, he's not Stephen." She finishes wiping the tears from my eyes.

Stephen was my ex-husband. He is the reason I'm the way I am today.

"What did you mean by apparently?" I asked just realized what she said before.

"Sweetie you know just as good as I do that this is a small town and people talk. From what people say about Kyle, he hasn't been seen with a woman since his wife died. Shoot, I don't even think he's even looked at a woman." She exclaims smiling a little at me.

So Kyle hasn't been with anyone since his wife died. I'm sure it was hard on him. I remember Katherine calling me one day to tell me that Julie had died of cancer. She was so young. She had everything she wanted; a loving husband, a son, the perfect family setting but not long after Ben was born, she found out she had developed cervical cancer. Katherine said that the cancer had sped so fast there was really nothing that could be done.

"So what do you think I should do?" I questioned because I really wanted her opinion.

"Amy, now you know I can't tell you the answer to that. You have to do what you think would be best for you. Why don't you think on it a few days and if he really wants that date, he will wait, I promise." She exclaims getting up from the table, leaving me with my thoughts.