Panel // Daniel Howell x Reader

I'm giving a reason

Im okay

I'm alright

I feel kinda low today.

Just drained.

And I have exams next week.

I don't think I'm gonna fail but I don't think I'll do amazingly

Geography and science are my main stutters.

Not only are they in irish gaelic but difficult.

I'm screwed for French as well.

My teacher doesn't know what she's putting on the text and we have done near to nothing since September.

I might be alright in history... I might get a C

I have things which I can only say to my fiction friend who I can cry to or to my friend who I only see for 50 minuets a day 4 days a week.

I have other friends who I feel like I could commit to talking to but there would be so much to fill them in on.

My body feels weighted. I feel heavy. I'm not saying I feel fat. (I am just recently happy with my body...)
But all I need is curry pot noodles, spring rolls and chocolate brownie fudge ice cream.

And they fudge brownie is warm.

I hope you know I write this and delay posting for ages because I contemplate the reaction.

Your opinion means a lot to me and my writing. And there is a line between offense and creative criticism.

Like I recently got a comment saying how this person doesn't want to read about so what is my book.

I know you came for Dan X Reader but I struggle writing about a real person who I don't know personally. Writing about somebody's personal life isn't easy when you know very little.

So let me write about Sally for the time being, until I can connjour up a plot for you and Dan.

I have had bursts of posts. Because writing about Sally is easier. She is my fiction. My creation. My person. Her actions and reactions are in my control. Let me write about this girl with no shame and guilt.

I accept that I am delaying the dan content but please let me write.

Sorry  for the rant.

I love you all very much.

Thank you for 21k.

-Me.

Addition made a few days later..

I'm being nicer to myself.

On snapchat- my "my eyes only" folder has lots of pictured of me when I felt pretty or happy.

When I feel down I'll throw on Africa bt Toto and look at the photos and see if my self image deteriorates based on my mood or my physical health.

I know that I will always see faults in myself. It's like how artists only see the faults and mistakes in their works while the community might just see a price of art.

Because we are all pieces of art. We have our meanings and definitions and colours. But honestly we were made to be seen and forgotten...

Okokok I got a little cushy and dark but that's how I feel currently.

Thanks again,

-me.