heart like yours

falling out

Don't go

please

I stand there watching her walk, my insides slowly crumbling.

Give me a reason to stay.

She walks to the door, bags in hand and heart on the floor.

i love you

It was never supposed to be this way. I never intended for the story to twist and turn, to end where it did. When i think of the story of my life, i see a slowly and steady start, filled with childhood memories and learned lessons, things to prepare me for the present. I see subplot lines, friends, enemies, coworkers, minor problems, family, things that can be impactful and things that can be uneventful.

When i met her, i know she would be more than just some subplot line, she would be a main character. She would be feathered in each chapter, a vital part of the story. The water that makes the boat float. And she was at first. She was everything i could ask for and more. She loved me, all of me. Every ugly piece, every broken part, every battered good, any and every perfection that i thought of myself. She supported me, no questions asked, though thick and then. She was gorgeous and she didn't even try. And she was mine. my love girl.

But then something changed. This perfect, beautiful, powerful girl wasn't the girl i fell in love with. As the nights went by the bed didn't feel the same. The days didn't seem as bright. The food tasted bitter. The air seemed tense. The mood was somber. The love wasn't there. my story was coming to an end.

"I'm sorry."

"Then why? I deserve to know?"

"I just...i don't love you anymore."

The room was silent.

She was leaving for good.

I should stop her. I should go up to her and kiss her, make myself believe that when we kiss there is still a spark. That when we kiss it feels like the first time and that my stomach still gets a warm tingle, that my cheeks still get red because kissing her makes me happy. I should go up and grab her hand, hold it forever, stroke it, kiss the top, play with her fingers and nails because i loved the feel of her soft hands. I should go up and hug her, hold her in place, rub my hands down her back and stroke her hair, nuzzle my face into the crook of her neck and inhale her smell because i can't get enough. couldn't get enough. I should spin her around before she walks and tell her that i love her.

But i could never lie to her.

She turns back at the door. Her face is puffy, eyes slightly red rimmed and damp. tell me you love me. tell me you're making a huge mistake. tell me anything other than the truth. Lie to me.

I can't help but look away, her hazel eyes burning into my head, but i can't hurt her, not anymore.

"Goodbye."

i love you.