This is a time jump. Beginning from now on, it will be exactly (or almost exactly, I don't know) a year from when Noa does the thing she did, not from the last chapter. Also, I put 362 days but idk if that's right. Let me know if it bothers you and what the actual date is.
~ER
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Three-hundred-and-sixty-two days later. . .
I sit on the couch, eating spoonful after spoonful of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. My tears drip down my face and mix with the ice cream, making the sweet treat salty. I don't know why I'm upset; I just know as soon as I got home I started eating ice cream and crying.
"Rick is a fucking cock-sucking manwhore jackass," I mutter under my breath, stabbing the ice cream with my spoon. "He deserves whatever slut he's shacked up with this time." No one's around, thank God, but I need to vent and venting to myself is better than nothing.
"I don't even know why I'm upset, you know? We've been dating for five months, maybe six I guess. Why do I feel so hurt?" I sob, no tears this time and shove an overly large spoonful of ice cream into my mouth. I'm more pissed than anything but when I get mad, I eat and I cry.
I go for another spoonful when I realize there isn't anymore. More tears fall when I remember that was the last bit of ice cream we had. We need to buy more ice cream. Better yet, Erik can buy more ice cream. I can call Erik to bring some ice cream home. and that's what I do. I rab my phone and dial Erik's number. It rings a few times before he answers.
"Hey, what's up?" he asks, and I sigh.
"Hey," I try responding in a way that won't show him how I'm actually doing. I fail that and he starts panicking.
"Noa, what's wrong? Please tell me you're not doing anything. Please answer me. Why aren't you answering me?" The panic in his voice rises and I laugh at his parent-like worry. I mean, he has reason to be worried, it just doesn't fit him.
"If you would shut up, I'd be able to respond." He laughs and I can picture him rubbing or scratching the back of his neck. "I was just wondering if you could bring some ice cream home. I kinda ate all of the ice cream we have at home." Erik chuckles and I hear him moving around.
"Sure, Noa. I'm sorry for panicking. You called at the perfect time, I was just about to lock up the freezer and head over." He pauses and I just listen to him breathe. It's oddly calming. "You wanna talk about it?" I sigh. Of course, this is what he wanted to do.
"Later, Erik. When you get back, okay?"
"Yeah, okay. See you soon."
"Bye." I hang up the phone and lean my head back on the couch. Life sucks, dating sucks, everything just fucking sucks. I mean, it has been worse and the people in my life can agree with me. But did he really have to break up with me today? Why not tomorrow or yesterday or weeks ago? How about he just never have asked me out? That would've been amazing. I would be just fine right now if that had never happened.
But it did. And now I am here. Waiting for my roommate to come home with more ice cream so I can cry over someone I didn't even love. Hell, I don't even think I was that into Rick but here I am, crying and getting fat because. . . I don't even know why.
It's also the anniversary of that day. The day that started my new life but it also almost ended it. This morning Erik made the usual breakfast and we talked before we both headed off to work.
While I was working, I got a phone call from my siblings. We talked and they mentioned what today was and I got a little upset but didn't let myself get too upset over it. The twins had to go and so we hung up and almost immediately after I hung up, I got a text from Rick. He broke up with me over fucking text like some macho douchebag.
It then hits me why I'm crying. I don't feel good enough. I wasn't good enough to even get broken up with in person. I wasn't good enough for some bastard who didn't know how to keep it in his pants.
It then hits me again. Rick wasn't even that bad. In fact, he was basically the perfect guy; he knew how to cook and listen and treated me right. So, now I'm not even good enough for the "perfect" guy. I'm too ugly and fat and unlikable to even attract a nice guy. And the one time I do, he ends up leaving me, over text, for someone else. I can't stop the thoughts from coming.
You're stupid. You thought someone could actually like you? Moron! Learn where you belong in this world--alone and at the bottom!
I start crying more, sobbing as I pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them. I press my eyes into my knees until white lights burst behind my eyelids. My tears soak through my joggers and wet my skin, soaking down my face as well. My chest starts hurting and my breathing becomes hitched. I start hiccuping soon after and then the tears stop and I'm just a dry-sobbing mess.
I'm a mess and I don't deserve anything and I'm not worth it and I'm so fucking stupid if I think anything else.
YOU ARE READING
In The Eyes Of a Saint
Teen FictionI stare at the cars. I stare at the people. I look up and I stare at the sky. I stare at the clouds. A few birds fly by. I stare at those, too. Then, I look at the buildings. Some are completely lit up. Others are only partially. I stare at the cars...
