ʀᴏᴏᴋɪᴇ | ᴋᴏ ✔︎

9

"Aww, ain't that frickin' cute." Pinoe pinches my cheeks after I catch the team up on my date with Kelley a few nights ago. She's back home with her own team now that the season is about to start up.

"Did she ask you to be official?"  Renae queries, earning her some confused looks from the team - including myself.

"It was one date-"

"SO?! You can't let her get away." Our Mexican friend cuts me off.

"Think about it, it'd be so cute if you both suited up for The States." Pinoe adds, staring off into the distance, obviously imagining it.

"No way. You can play against each other when you choose to rep Canada!" Kaylynn chimes in, and before we know it, the 'discussion' of my National representation is back in play.

"No, USA. We'd be powered by O'Scott power." Deines laughs while Van Egmond and I just watch our idiotic teammates.

"That sucks. What about...O'Lo!" Hope finally adds her input, though I wish she didn't.

"Oh! Logley!" Pinoe laughs while I shake my head in disgust.

"That one sucks, Pinoe." She only grins at me, knowing I've fell into the trap, allowing myself to be baited into the awful conversation about ship names with my so-called 'adult' teammates.

"Okay ladies!" Coach finally saves me from my friends, calling us in to discuss our upcoming game. We're thankful, since it was a torturous training session. "We'll meet back here 5 hours before kickoff, to take the bus to the stadium. The match, as you all know, is against Portland. It's not going to be easy, none of our games will be easy in this league-"
I zone out during her speech, we all know what she's saying is right. Nobody in this new league will be easy to beat, we just have to make sure we aren't easy to beat, either.

I end up thinking about a certain American, and it must show on my face because when I tune back into the current situation, Megan and Hope are smirking at me.

"Hmm. I wonder what you're thinking about." Hope saddles up to me, an arm around my shoulders. I only then realize that Coach is finished her boring talk and the team are beginning to seperate and head home.

"Hope and I are grabbing food, want to join us?"

It's not the first time my teammates have asked me to do something, and each time I'm always on the verge of saying yes, until I remember that my mom isn't a responsible parent and my brother is waiting for me at our neighbors.

"Uh...I'd love to-"

"YAAY! Finally, you always say-" Megan cuts me off.

"But I can't." I finish my sentence, watching my friends happy and excited demenor melt away into the reality of my answer.

"That. You always say that."

"Can we give you a lift home?" Hope asks, changing the subject. I had to take the bus today since my old truck wouldn't even start.

"No, that's okay. Go. Enjoy your late lunch." I throw my teammates a smile, hoping that they would just drop it, but I should really know better - when it comes to Pinoe.

"Nope." She pops the 'p', "We're taking you home, rookie." Megan pushes Hope's arm off my shoulders and wraps her own around me. I can only chuckle at my teammates as they begin to try and encourage me to play for USA, and no one else.

The truth is, I still haven't decided and I don't know when I will. However, I do plan to keep my promise to Coach - she'll be the first person to know who I pick.

Before I know it we're in Hope's car with Megan riding shotgun. I was basically shoved in the backseat, because I'm 'a child'. The ride to my neighborhood is filled with music from Megan's phone via and aux cord, only highlighting to me how old fashioned my truck really is. The only other noise on the drive home coming from me, and my having to give Hope directions.

I asked them to stop at my neighbors and I'd walk home from there. They weren't very happy about it and made it their mission to walk me to Mrs Holland's doorstep.

"We need to know you get here safely!" Hope sighed out, exhausted by my attempts to get them to leave.

Truth is, I don't like people knowing where I live. I know, I know, I shouldn't judge them and assume that I know how they'll react, but I can't change how I feel and how much I worry, despite my attempts to not. I always think that they're internally judging me for where I live. Unlike my other teammates, I live in a rundown area of the city, well known for poverty, drugs, drunks and hookers.

I attempt to get out the car only to find that there's safety locks.

"Seriously?" I groan out, knowing that Hope only used them because I'm here.

"We have to keep our baby safe!" Pinoe all but cheers as she jumps out of the car to open my door, laughing when I gently shove her.

"I'm not your baby." I frown at her, and Hope too when she wraps her arm over my shoulder.

"You're the baby of the team. Therefore, you are our baby."
I push Hope away, walking in front of the two, on my way to knock on my neighbor's door as my teammates chuckle behind me. As always, it only takes a few minutes after knocking for Mrs Holland to answer her door, only this time, I can see that something is wrong.

"Oh, Logan, I couldn't call. I don't have your number-" She rambles on, catching the attention of Megan and Hope.

"What? Why would you need to call? Where's Kevin?" I ask, peering down the hallway behind her, searching for my brother.

"He's at home. I think."

"You think?" I ask, more insistent and on edge.

"Yes. Your mom called, something about a man wanting to see Kevin."

"Uh...ok. Thanks, Mrs Holland." I hug my neighbor goodbye, mostly because I needed a hug at that moment. I have a really bad feeling about this.

"What's wrong, Logan?" Megan asks, trying to keep pace with me as I march down the street to my house.

"I don't know yet."

We're at my house in a few minutes, and I run to the front door when I see that sedan. His  sedan.

Hope and Megan follow me through the front door, obviously taking cues from my demenor.

"LOGAN!" Kevin tries to run to me, only to be held back my the man.

"What's going on?!" I 'ask', but it comes out as an accusatory yell, aimed at the Social Worker. He stares me down, waiting for me to calm, and it works.

"I told you Logan. I'd be back, and this," He motions to my mother, who is in her natural state - face down on the couch, passed out and reeking of vodka. "This isn't 'better'. I'm sorry, I really am. I know you've been trying but it's not your  responsibility. It's your mother's. I'll let you say goodbye." He finally lets go of my brother, who immediately runs to me. He collides with me, but I hold my ground, wrapping my arms around my younger brother as he cries in my arms.

"I don't want to go. Don't let him take me!" It's all he has to say before I start to cry, too. My grip on my brother tightens as I imagine a life without seeing him every single day.

"I don't want you to go, Kevin." I stutter out, trying to keep myself from breaking down. I've always had to be the strong one, I refuse to break down now. I take a look around our home - the drunken mother passed out, the filth the surrounds her. The kitchen just as dirty, with plates and cups that fill the sink. "But...maybe it's what you need-"

"No! I need you! You're my family!" His yelling prompts sniffling, and glancing to my right, I can see that it's Megan and Hope, who I'd forgotten were here.

"I need you too, buddy." I pull him away, cupping his small face in my hands and wiping his tears away, only for new ones to fall in their place. "But I think you need a better living environment. One that is clean and safe." I give him the facts, and I watch as his eyes meet mine but I can see his mind working. I know that he knows that I'm right and he eventually nods. "You have my number, Kevin. We'll talk all the time. I'll always be your sister, and you'll always be my brother."

"I just...I just don't want you to forget about me." He mumbles, looking towards his feet but I still heard him. I lift his face back up, ensuring that he hears my reply.

"I will never  forget you. We're gonna talk every single day, okay? I'll come visit you. No matter where you go, I'll find you."

He only nods, throwing himself back into my arms and I relish in the last few moments with my brother, not knowing when I'll really see him again, despite what I told him.

"It's time to go-"

"Hey! Give them a minute." Hope cuts in, glaring at Social Worker who obviously hesitates.

"I really wish I could, but we have to go, Kevin." He takes Kevin's bags, all of his clothes and books and takes them out to the car as I walk my brother out, my teammates behind us. They wait at the front door while I walk him to the sedan that I've come to hate.

"I'll miss you, Lo." Kevin mumbles, hiding his face in my chest once again. I bite my lip, urging myself not to crack - not yet.

"I'll miss you too, Kev." I kiss the top of his head, opening the door for him. "I love you so much, kid." I give him the tightest hug I've ever given anyone, hoping that it transmits just how much I love and care for him.

"I love you too, sis."

I walk back to the front door, watching along with my teammates as the sedan backs out of the small driveway. I wave when my brother waves at me, and I don't stop until the sedan is out of my sight and that's when I crack.

I fall to my knees, not caring how loud in wailing. My brother was who I was working so fucking hard for and now he's gone. Arms wrap around me as my friend's kneel next to me, not saying anything, just comforting me.

They're not the arms I want though.