Snowdrops

Chapter 12: Break up

Chapter 12

Break up

Patrick Wale POV

Even if she wears make up, you’ll see her eyes had swollen and she lost weight. I gave her a small awkward smile. I can’t help it. I felt so awkward seeing her like this because of me. Tears started to form on her eyes. She hold my arm and asked,“ Can we talk?” she asked now glaring at me “ALONE. NOW!” She pulled me and we walked at the back of the club. “Who’s the new girl? The next poor girl, who’s gonna be with you no matter how many girls you slept with and will deal with all your F****** problems!”

“Chelsea can we talk about this, properly?” I asked her gently. She sarcastically laughed.

“Properly? Patrick? REALLY?, you just left me hanging without any closure. What kind of proper is that? Proper J******?!” she started to yell.

“Then Chelsea, Let me do this now.” I tried to calm her.

“No Patrick! Don’t you dare say that!!! Don’t you ever say that!!! I gave my everything to you!! And this how you pay me back? I became stupid just for you. I was always there for you. I love you... Is it not enough?! Where did I lack? Where did I went wrong? Tell me and I’ll try to work it out for you” Tears fell on her face. “Can we just get back like we used to be and work this thing out? Patrick please I can’t afford to lose you.. I just can’t.. You know how much I love you...I love you Patrick please” She struggled in ever words she said.

“Chelsea, It won’t work out. I don’t what to hurt you anymore-” I held her arms and tried again to calm her. But she cut me off.

“If you don’t want me to be hurt then love me again. Please Patrick, I need you. I’ll die without you” She begged. Her sobs breaks my heart, but I don’t want to continue this. I don’t want to fool her. 

“Chelsea, I’m sorry. The more we try to make this relationship work the more we break it. I don’t want to fool you nor myself. Let’s end this, please.” I cupped her face with my hands wiping her tears away. She hugged me tightly as a sign that she won’t release me. I hugged her back and whispered to her ears “I’m not good for you Chelsea, you deserved a much better person. The one who will love you back equally. Who would not be an A****** like me. I’m deeply sorry Chelsea. I know it hurts but lets not fool ourselves anymore, this won’t work out even if we try.” Her sobs got louder. I reached for her face and cupped it again. “I want you to be happy Chelsea. I really do. But I know, I am not the one who can give it to you.” I released myself from her and tightly hugged her. She refused at first but give up at the end. 

“Do you really like her?” She suddenly asked me, still crying. I paused and asked myself. Do I like Monica? I recalled the moments we’re together. And we both looked happy.

“I really don’t know for now Chelsea, but I won’t give her up. She’s my happiness and I would risk myself not to hurt her.” I honestly answered her.

“You’re really an idiot, do you know that?” I look at her confused to her remark. “You still don’t know? Those words you just said about her, I never heard that from you when we’re together nor to anyone who knows our relationship. It hurts to hear that I am not you happiness and your giving up this relationship for her. I don’t know what she did to ruin us, but my love for you will always be here in my heart. No matter how painful it is, I can’t take out of you in my heart.” She painfully said those words. 

“Please Chelsea, Don’t make this hard for the both of us. Please.” Now, I am the one who’s begging.

“Then, don’t make this thing looked easy for us. Coz it’s not!” She walked away from me. As she opened the back door, “I can’t believed you just easily threw this relationship like it’s some piece of a scratch paper.” she looked back, “Or maybe I was the only one active in this relationship?” She looked away and squeezed her eyes as she tried not to cry more, “You’re a F****** A******!” She slammed the door and left me alone. I felt hurt with every words she said but I know to myself I deserved it. I’m a F****** A******, Yes, indeed.