ꜱᴋᴇᴛᴄʜᴇꜱ

Chapter 13

Should I?

Should I not?

The only question is should I tell Zane? I'm at a crossroad here. Cassie Evans was lost three years ago, resurrected and broken once again two years ago. I wish life would be simple and go smoothly, bringing back everything that was lost. I'm clutching my phone tight in my hands that my knuckles are turning a lighter shade.

I'm scared of the future. It's uncertainty and everything attached to that. They are far away but I need to speak to them.

"Dad, I need them now!" I rush into my dad's arms. "Please call them. Tell them I miss them. I need them, please..." I cry. I can hear my mum sobbing by my side.

My dad crouches close to me. "I wish I could C. I wish I could but-"

"But he took them from me...from us. Why?"

"I'm sorry you had to go through that Cassie," my mum states in tears. "I'm sorry it ruined you. We're feel guilty but there was nothing we could do. We couldn't control it..."

I can't remember the last time I cried like this but I'm not still feeling better. I need to get out of here and stat. I pull out from my dad arms.

"Where are you going?" he asks but I keep trying drive out those memories. I rush out the door in my pyjamas without thinking twice. I run as far as my legs could carry me. Right now, I have no idea where I'm going but that doesn't stop me. I glad they didn't call me back, neither did they run after me. I think they realise I need this. I need to understand myself.

My life.

It's been ruined. There's nothing I can call mine. Gone...why?

I look at the phone in my hand and find out it's 8 in the evening. I don't register what I'm doing. I walk towards the edge of the cliff and look at the star-lit sky before me.

"Laugh at me! Tell me I'm crazy!" I wait for an answer but I get none. "You left me with a manic! You left me in this world alone! Why?"

I fall back on the ground with my knees and begin to sob. "Why didn't he just finish it all...why? He had me there and you took it.Why did you? Why didn't you let me find peace, in a place where I'll be free from therapists and relapse?

"Why did you do it? I hate you guys so much. I hate both of you. I wish I was the one and not any of you. Mum and dad needed you guys but you weren't there. You left us. Left me..." my voice was becoming more quiet especially in the last three sentences.

I rest my head by a tree not far off, still angry and watching the sky. My life became miserable on two different occasions.

Precisely two different nights, and my whole world died.

Couldn't anything go back to normal...

Blood stains on trees but I'm still walking, slowly, the grass turn into a pool of blood.

Eyes from every corner are staring at me. I try turning back but no way out. Walls keep coming closer and I just stare wide-eyed. I can't escape. It's too much.

I can't breathe...I can't.

"Darling!!"

"Cassie!"

Two voices echo repeatedly until I open my eyes to meet lights flashing right into eyes. I blink severally trying to know where I am--in the hospital.

I look to my side to meet my parents' concerned faces. "What happened?"

"Someone called the ambulance saying you had breathing difficulty and passed out unconscious..."

"Really?" I sit upright, making my parents flinch a little. "Who?"

"He's outside. Let me go tell him you're awake because he said he wanted to see you're fine before he left," my dad said before leaving I and my mum.

"Did he tell you his name?"

"No, he didn't but it seemed he knew you."

"Knew me?" She nodded and that left me question until my dad arrived with him.

"Zane?" He only ran towards me and engulfed me in a hug that I eventually warmed up to.

"I'm so glad you're okay," he looks at me. He's scared.

"Yeah thanks for everything. How did you find me?"

"I walk around the same area because of my little fascination of stars and to clear my head. I found you by the tree. When I went close and called your name, you didn't answer. I tapped you but nothing. I noticed your breathing was heavy and decided to call the ambulance because I wasn't with my car and I didn't want to imagine what would happen within that space of time. On our way here, I called your dad since he gave me his number that last time I was at your place....I'm just glad you're alright."

"What about Zara?"

"She was asleep but when I came here, I called her to tell her I wouldn't be back maybe till morning-"

"And school?"

"What's it with you and school? Your dad's getting us sick notes because you're in no shape to go home and I haven't slept much."

"What time did we get here?"

"10 pm and it's 6 am now..."

"I'm sorry I did that to you." He's smiling. Despite the fact that he looks worn out, he still looks good.

"Shh..." he places his index finger momentarily. "I needn't apologise. I'll do it again to ensure you're okay,"

"Thank you..." I give out a loud yawn.

"Princess, you really need to get some rest," my dad said pecking me on my forehead. My mum only smiled at me.

I really think I need that sleep. I look back at Zane. "And you?" My voice came out lighter and softer.

"I'll be here whenever you need me," he stroked my cheeks until I went back to sleep.

It's midday and I'm back home, Zane's here with Zara who I'll admit is a sweetheart but maybe not to Zane. Zara's sleeping in the guest room, temporarily; saying the bed was more comfy while Zane is in the living room.

I'm reading Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer when I hear footsteps in my room that I choose to ignore. He snatches my book from my hand and I only glare at him. He should be afraid but unfortunately, he's not.

He sits by my side. "Why are you reading this book?"

"Because it's beautiful,"

"Beautiful you say...why were you out there?"

"I needed to think," I say staring up at the ceiling, hoping this conversation would not have to come to this.

"To think?"

"Yeah, why are you questioning me?"

"I told you I want to find out whatever is bothering you." I look at him but he's staring at the ceiling.

"Why?"

"I don't like to see you cry," he says and looks at me. "It kills me to see you hurt."

Only if you knew.

I want to tell you but I don't want to keep you in the middle of the madness going on in my life.

I can't see you hurt and end up like them.

Not you.

Not Ellie.

Not James.

Not Darren.

Not my parents.

Or your loved ones.

None of them.