Carry You Home

Eleven

“So, why are you here, today, Lindsey? Is it okay if I call you by your first name?“

“Umm, sure. 'Mr. Buckingham' actually reminds me way too much of my father.“, Lindsey replied with a nervous chuckle.

The man in front of him smiled friendly in response, waiting for Lindsey to go on.

“Why am I here....“, the guitarist repeated the other man's question, thoughtfully, “Because I need to change my life.“

“What needs to change, exactly?“

“The way I treat people. No, cut that. I need to be honest to myself. Actually, it's the way I treat one woman in particular.“

The therapist nodded and made a note in his journal, “Who are we talking about, exactly?“

“The woman I'm in love with.“

The older man with white hair and glasses smiled knowingly at Lindsey. He was in his sixties, Lindsey guessed, and preferred to be called Robert rather than Dr. Smith by his clients. “Can you tell me more about her? And about the relationship you two have?“

Lindsey had to laugh, “God, I don't even know where to begin.“

“Are you in a relationship with her?“

“No.“

“Why not?“

“Because she broke up with me.“

“Did she say why? Did she fell out of love with you?“

“No, it wasn't that...“, Lindsey sighed and rubbed his sweaty hands over his denim jeans, “I don't think that we ever truly fell out of love with each other. She said I have major jealousy and trust issues. She said I'm possessive. That I changed. That I am not the man she fell in love with, anymore.“

“Did those words hurt you?“

“Yeah, well, of course, they hurt me.“, Lindsey was quick to reply, “It's not a great feeling when the person you love the most tells you that she isn't happy with you, anymore. That she feels restricted and as if she can't breathe because of you.“

“Were those her exact words?“

“Yeah...“

“What does your life look like, now? Is she with someone else?“

“We work together. She is my band mate. So basically, I see her quite often. As far as I know she broke up with her latest partner. She said they were 'practically over'.“

Robert scribbled another note in his journal.

“God, who am I fooling?“, Lindsey said suddenly with a shake of his head, “I want you to help me because I want my woman back. And still here I am telling you only bits and pieces of the truth.“

“Well, I am glad to see that you realize how important it is that you are open to me in our sessions. I am not here to judge you. What we discuss here stays in this room, Lindsey.“, Robert said, leaning forward in his chair.

Lindsey nodded, “I know. This is my first therapy session. I am not a person who opens up about their feelings, easily. So, talking to a stranger about my deepest insecurities is quite challenging to me.“

“Believe me, it is challenging to most people in the beginning. But you will see, gradually, you'll start to appreciate the time we spend together. I want you to see this hour with me as your 'me time'. It is your time to reflect and get to the bottom of the things that concern you.“

Once again, Lindsey nodded. He already felt a thousand times better about the whole situation.

“So how about you start at the very beginning? When did you meet...- what was her name?“

“Stephanie.“

“Oh okay. When did you and Stephanie meet?“

Lindsey smiled in response to Robert's question, his mind already travelling back in time to a sunny, warm Wednesday night at a Young Life club meeting in 1965...