Carry You Home

Twenty-four

After loading up Stevie's suitcases in the back of his car, Lindsey started the engine and took off, while Stevie watched how the reflection of the rehabilitation center got smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror until it finally disappeared around a corner. She almost couldn't believe that those three weeks she had dreaded so much were over. And that she had made it out alive, healthy and sober for the first time in almost seven years. 

Lindsey who sensed that Stevie was deep in thoughts, reached across the gear shift to take her hand and give it a gentle squeeze, "You okay?"

Stevie turned her head into his direction and smiled. "Yeah.", she nodded, "I was just thinking how lucky I am."

Lindsey smiled back at her, then brought her hand up to his lips to kiss it, "I am so happy to see you healthy, again. I was so worried about you, Stevie."

"I know. Looking back now, I totally understand why everybody treated me as if I lost my mind. It's because I actually did."

"You didn't lose your mind.", Lindsey shook his head, "You were just in a really dark place."

"I did so much crazy stuff, Linds.", Stevie said and leaned her head back against the seat, "I think I spent the last two weeks trying to wrap my head around the fact that I almost married my best friend's husband. That I didn't talk to my parents for almost a year. That I had an abortion. And to top it all off, I managed to have an affair with Mick for god's sake. What the fuck was wrong with me?!"

Lindsey was stunned for a moment. Self-reflection wasn't exactly one of the things he was used to when it came to Stevie. Remembering what his therapist had told him during their last session, he decided to stay calm and understanding, though. "We all haven't been our true selves in quite some time and made an awful lot of horrible decisions. It wasn't just you, Steph. That's what drugs do to you. They change you. On top of that, you were grieving. You lost your best friend to cancer. You and I had a very painful breakup and I treated you really badly afterwards. Don was an asshole and Mick... Well, Mick is Mick." 

His last sentence caused Stevie to chuckle. It warmed Lindsey's heart to see he had been able to make her laugh. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You did the right thing and decided to make a change. That was so brave of you. And it's all that matters, right now."

Stevie turned her head to take a look at him. And when her eyes settled upon his handsome face, it was alomst as if she saw him for the very first time. "Thank you.", she said, "You have no idea what that means to me, especially coming from you. You're probably the person I hurt the most in all of this and, even though I know we already had this talk before I went into rehab, I want you to know how sorry I am."

"Shhh..", Lindsey hushed her, "That's in the past. We have so many beautiful things ahead of us. There is no need to discuss this any further. I forgave you, Stevie."

She nodded in response, silence surrounding them for the rest of the drive. It worried Lindsey a little. Usually, Stevie was a very talkative person. Having her sitting next to him without speaking another word made him overthink her whole behavior ever since he had picked her up from rehab. They had not kissed, yet. And apart from exchanging a few nice sentiments, they had not discussed anything regarding their future, either. Lindsey decided to give her some time, though, and just caressed her left hand by rubbing his thumb back and forth across her soft skin to soothe the both of them.

About thirty minutes later, they pulled into the driveway of Stevie's mansion. The sun had started to set when Lindsey helped her out of the car and guided her inside of the building. As soon as Stevie stepped inside, she got almost knocked over by her two dogs that jumped right into her arms. In a high-pitched voice she started to talk to them, falling to her knees to give them cuddles.

"They missed you like crazy.", Lindsey said and kneeled down next to her to pet the poodle's head, "Ginny definitely remembered who I was but the other one needed some time to come to like me."

"Did you look after them while I was gone?", Stevie asked in surprise while she threw the toy that Ginny had brought to them into the next room, only to watch both puppies chase after it.

"Of course."

"Oh, Linds...", she said softly and took a loving look at him, "You didn't have to. My assistant could have picked them up."

Lindsey shook his head in response, "I wanted to. I know how much they mean to you. And I have to admit, it was nice to bond with Ginny again. She was our first dog, afterall."

Stevie smiled as she remembered the very day she and Lindsey had laid eyes on Ginny while taking a stroll at the beach. For days she had talked about nothing but that little white poodle puppy but Lindsey had not budged, telling her that she had to be realistic and understand that touring for months was hell for a dog. Two weeks later, he had woken her up early in the morning by placing a wooden basket with a huge pink ribbon into her lab. After putting on her glasses, she had found Ginny inside. 

"She still is.", Stevie said softly and reached out to cup the side of Lindsey's face.

They looked deeply into each other's eyes until Branwen, Stevie's Afghan hound, decided to end their moment and jump between them with a loud bark. Stevie giggled and picked her up to let her and Ginny outside into the garden. For a minute, she just stood and watched as her two dogs chased each other around the trees, then she went into the kitchen to put Lindsey's white lillies into a vase. 

"I hope I managed to keep all your plants alive.", Lindsey said promptly and sat down at the kitchen table, "I didn't even know one person could have so many plants in one house but I was proven wrong for sure."

Stevie laughed and placed the vase in the middle of the table before sitting down opposite from him, "I'm sorry but again, you could have just told my assistant, Linds."

Again, Lindsey shook his curly head, "No."

She looked him over once more, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. He was so insistent to make her see that he was supportive and it warmed her heart. 

"Say, are you as hungry as I am?", he changed the subject, "It's 6:30 pm and I am starving."

Stevie nodded enthusiastically.

"Would you like to go out for dinner? I can take you to a nice restaurant, if you like?", Lindsey asked, "Or we can just stay in and order some food."

"Is it okay, if we stay at home?", Stevie asked, "I don't think I'm ready yet to be out in public again. And I really missed being home, to be honest."

"Of course. I'd actually prefer that, too. I just wanted you to have the option to choose. I would have taken you out, if you had wanted to."

Stevie smiled appreciatively, "I know that. And that's very thoughtful of you. Everything you've done so far has been, actually."

"I just want you to be happy, Stevie.", Lindsey said honestly and took a deep look into her eyes, "I know you had a hard time and I want, I don't know, to make it better, somehow? I know that sounds cheesy but..-"

"That doesn't sound cheesy, at all.", Stevie interrupted him, "It's really sweet of you and..." She trailed off and looked the other way, biting her bottom lip as she felt tears welling up in her eyes.

"Hey, don't cry.", Lindsey said softly and reached out to touch the side of her face.

"I'm sorry. It's just... You're so good to me.", she whispered before she started crying then, anyway.

Lindsey got up and pulled her into his arms. "I love you.", he said and pressed a kiss to her temple. He felt her nodding against his chest and smiled when she tightened her hold on him a little more. 

"Hey, what do you think about enchiladas, huh?", he asked while caressing her head, hoping to distract her with her love for Mexican food, "Tacos or burritos would be nice, too."

Stevie raised her head and nodded, a smile appearing on her face as she wiped away her tears, "That sounds perfect."