Poetry

Random

I'm sorry, I dont know what I did to get the silent treatment this morning, but I'm sorry, and I won't do it again... and yes I'm dramatic... with Cheyenne the only way he would pay attention to me was if I was drinking, dramatic, hurting myself or he wanted sex. I'm driving myself insane, and I'm okay with it... you make me happy. I see similarities, and it scares me. I don't want to be abused again... I don't want to be ignored... I don't want to be belittled or feel unwanted. I know I can be needy and I'm sorry, I'm going to have to unlearn everything I was taught by Cheyenne because you don't want what he made me. I like you a lot. And it scares me to give so much of myself to someone. I will, but I'll be terrified the entire time. Because last time it destroyed me, and I'm still not healed. I'm digging myself a grave with all this anxiety.. I'm not hungry anymore, I just want to sleep, and I feel like puking every 10 seconds. You drive me insane... and I'm okay with that.