Perfection and Suicide

1

Faith's POV

I woke up to the sound of my bunny, Snuggles, squealing softly at me, begging to be fed breakfast.

I threw my covers off of my cut-scarred body, slowly getting up, making sure the pain of last night's cuts was still lingering on my legs.

I walked over to her cage on the other side of my room, pulling out her food from the drawer underneath her. I put some in her bowl and absent mindedly started stroking her snowy fur while she munched on a little piece of kibble that happened to fall out if the bowl.

I smiled at her and closed the cage, walking over to the large window in my room that I hated. I looked out and saw Matthew, my neighbor, cutting the grass.

Cutting the grass... With no shirt on.

I sighed happily and let my knees buckle slightly, not noticing the pain I got from in between my knees from knocking them together. I wrapped my arms around my stomach contentedly

I kind of have a crush on him.

Well, not really a crush... more of an obsession.

He brings some brightness to my depression, anxiety filled life.

I turned away from the window unwillingly and grabbed my school clothes, which contained a navy blue jumper, a baby blue polo button up shirt, a pair of black shorts, and a white, gold and navy blue tie.

I. HATED. This. Outfit.

But I have to wear it for school.

I unhappily put it on, along with the navy blue knee high socks and Mary Janes and walked across the hall to Gianna's room.

Of course, Gianna was laying snuggled up in Taylor's bare chest.

Taylor, a rebellious eighteen year old, was my sister's boyfriend our parents didn't approve of.

Gianna was my twin sixteen year old twin who, as sweet as she is at home, can not be trusted.

Especially with her dirty little secret about Taylor.

I gave her a shove and whisper-shouted,"Gianna!!"

"Mmm..."

"You gotta get Taylor out of here before our parents wake up!"

Her eyes instantly shot open.

"FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!"

Then she regained her dignity and poked Taylor.

"Tay Tay, you gotta leave now Hun." she murmured into his ear.

He opened his eyes and frowned.

"Fine."

He stood up and kissed her goodbye before jumping out of the open window, Gianna closing it after.

"So THAT'S what all the noise was last night!" I joked, smirking at her.

"SHUT UP!" she smiled.

"Get dressed you little bish."

I walked out of the room and resumed my depressing state.

I got down the stairs and poured a bowl of Apple Jacks and started eating, leaning against the countertop. I made Gianna's breakfast too, a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles. We were so childish.

She soon came downstairs and grabbed her bowl, starting to eat.

I glanced at her, and noticed something on her neck. I turned my head to look at it more closely.

My eyes widened in realization.

"Gianna. You have a hickey on your neck."

She stopped eating, put her bowl down, grabbed her book bag, and ran out of the house.

I sighed, putting both of our bowls into the sink, put a note on a fridge for our parents, and left the house.

Matthew looked up from the lawn mower, which didn't seem to be working, and wiped sweat off of his forehead. I blushed slightly and started speed walking down the sidewalk, attempting to get to school before the bullies do so I could be in class already and try to avoid another reason for trying to kill myself.

Every time I try to stay clean, something else pops up to make my life more miserable.

Life sucks at the moment.

Especially now that I just walked onto campus and saw the bullies crowding around the front door, waiting for me to arrive.