Proof a heart is strong

Happiness

* Jackie’s POV *

I got off the phone with Ryan knowing something wasn’t right. It was the way he told me he loved me. He said it the exact same way he did when we were a couple. It bothered me a little, not because he said he loved me, but how he said it, like he meant it. He ruined any chance we had of getting back together. I’ll always love him, always, but I’m happy where I am, and who I’m with. Nathan looked over at me with a confused look on his face.

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I emphasized. He got walking towards me.

“What’s that suppose to mean? Is Ryan okay?” 

“He’ll be fine, he’s coming over tomorrow by the way.” 

“Okay?” He said weirdly. “You’re still a bad liar, what’s wrong?”

“It’s-” I rolled my eyes. “The way he told me he loved me.”

“And?” 

“He sounded like he meant it. I mean, he said like he did back when we dated.” I did a nervous laugh. “It was weird.” 

“That is a little weird, why is coming over then?”

“I haven’t seen him in a while. He’s still my friend-“

“Yeah.” Nathan walked back to the couch to sit down. 

“Do you not want him to come over?” 

“I don’t mind of he does, it’s not that-” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Don’t get me wrong, i like Ryan. I just don’t want him to all of a sudden pour his heart out to you.”

“He probably will-“

“I know, I’m just very protective, you know that.” I smiled at him, walking to the couch, sitting down on his lap. I gave him a soft kiss, resting my head on his shoulder.

“I know you are, It’s cute.” I pinched his cheek. “I love how much you care.”

“I love you, you know have to know that.” He rubbed his hand over my thigh. “I just don’t want him to take you from me. I wanted a long time to finally make you mine.” I blushed, my head will still on his shoulder, i kissed behind his ear, making my way down his neck. “You know all my weak spots.” I giggled as I stood up from his lap. “where are you going” He pouted out his bottom lip. I looked up at the clock, it was almost 7:30. 

“I’m going to take a shower. Meet me in the bedroom.” I winked, then laughed at the face he made. “You’re so cute.” 

~

The next afternoon I decided we all go out for lunch, i was tired of being at home all day.

Nathan, Ryan, and I were outside of our apartment building.

“Before we go, can i talk to you really quick?” Ryan asked me, i already knew what he was going to say. I looked over at Nathan as he got into the car. 

“Yeah, sure. What is it?”

“About yesterday, I’m happy for you, i want to make that very clear. It’s just weird for me.”

“How is it weird?”

“You were my first love, I just always pictured us getting married, that’s all. But I am happy for you, I was thinking about it last night, and, well, you’re happy with Nathan, and if there was anyone in the word i’d want you to be with besides me, it’d be him.”

“You’re not as happy as you say you are. Look, I’d feel the same way if i was you, trust me. You were the first guy i ever loved, I just want you to be hear for me. And i have a hug favor to ask you.”

“I’m Happy-” He raised his eyebrows at me. “what’s the favor?”

“Well, you know how i grew up with out a father right?”

“Obviously, yeah.” He said sharply.

“Well, I was thinking about it, I wanted Chris to be the best man, but i still need someone to walk me down the aisle.” My hand cupped his face. “I wanted you to do it.”

“Me?! Why me? Why not Chris? Or Nathan’s dad?”

“I don’t know Nathan’s dad that well, and i want Chris to be the best man. You won’t do it for me i’m guessing?” He stared at me long and hard. 

“I’ll do.” He rolled his eyes as i hugged him. “only because I know that’s make you happy.” He kissed my cheek, then put his lips up to my ear. “Why is it that every time I’m happy, I do something to mess it up?” He looked back at my eyes, i saw a tear a fall from his blue orbs. His eyes looked even light when he cried, they reminded me off a clear ocean, the perfect blue, almost crystal clear.

“Don’t think like that. You know that’s not true. If anything, I’m the one who should be saying that. My life was one big mess until now, it’s just starting to fall into place. I was happy with you, but you were never home, you were so dedicated to swimming, and you started college while i was in high school. Ryan, i was so in love with you, but i felt single sometimes, it sucked. All i wanted was you, to spend my of my time with you, just you. Don’t stand there now saying you regret that.” 

“I’m sorry, you have to know that. But think about it, if we never broke up-“

“Ryan, get your shit together, you’re thinking too much about the past. What happened to the careless guy i use to know? Who never regretted anything, never let anything bother him? Huh?”

“Things change as you get older.” He walked pass me to the car. “Can we just go now? I’m hungry.” He sat in the back seat, Nathan kept his stare at the wheel. When i sat down in the passenger seat, he looked at me out of the corner of his eye. 

“Are you okay Nathan?” I whispered. He just shook his head yeah, turning the car on. 

“I’m fine.” The tension in the car was unbearable, no one talked without it being awkward, and no one made eye contact. 

Honestly, I felt bad for both Ryan and Nathan, but I wasn’t going to let Ryan change my mind about Nathan. I love Ryan as a friend, and i always will. When i had no one, he was there for me, always. He wasn’t always around physically, but no matter what time it was i could call him to talk, i liked that about him. I understand that Ryan was just trying to get his career started, I just hated how he was blaming himself for everything that has happened to me. The only person i can blame is myself, he had no control of anything. Nathan, on the other hand, I felt bad for because I know how much he cares for me, and I know he’s jealous, i didn’t want him to feel that way. 

"Nathan-" I whispered, he looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "I'm sorry, you don't have to act so mad, you have no reason to."

"I'm not mad." We pulled up in front of Harry's Diner where we decided to go for lunch. 

"He's jealous." Ryan said in a cocky attitude. "I don't know why." I rolled my eyes, getting out of the car. Nathan ignored Ryan's comment, walking to my side of the car. 

"Ryan, please don't." 

"Don't what?" I looked over at him, giving him a dirty look. "I won't, I promise." 

Nathan held my hand as we walked into the diner, Ryan walking on the other side of me. The Waiter sat us down towards the back of the diner in a booth. Not many people where there, witch was good for all of us. Nathan and I were trying our hardest to stay under the radar, living a low profile life together. The only thing really the media got its hands on was when i admitted i was pregnant. I never really clarified who the father was, Its my life, and my business. 

For lunch I ordered a tuna melt with french fires and a pepsi, Ryan and Nathan both got steak pockets and a beer. I looked over at Nathan, 

"Who's going to be driving home."

"Shut up, i need a drink." He said taking a sip from his beer. I didn't blame him for wanting one, if I wasn't pregnant i'd be drinking too.