Proof a heart is strong

is it good to be home?

I left the apartment at 1 p.m England time, arriving at the airport at 2.My flight wasn’t for another 45 minutes, so I had time to think.

Everything was happening so fast. I hated how my gut told me the baby was Nathan’s. The last thing I wanted to do was break Michael’s heart. I had to face the facts, I felt bad for Ryan, but I have to worry about myself, and my child. As much as I loved Ryan, and I’d hate to admit my mother was right, I only loved him because of our past. He changed, and maybe my emotions were crazy and took over, but would I really be happy with who he is now? No, and I knew it.

Nathan was a different story. I wasn’t in LOVE with him, but yes, we have a connection. The only reason I drank with him that night was because I needed him. I was depressed, and I knew he’d put a smile on my face. That night Nathan and I went to his apartment in Miami. He had a full bottle of homemade red wine chilled and ready to be drank, the cork already popped. I only intended on having maybe 2 glasses at the most, but 2 turned into 3 and 3 turned into 4. And before we both new it, the bottle was empty.

I was quite tipsy, and so was he. I remember everything, as if I were completely sober. I'm the type of drunk who wants to be held and loved, kind of like a clingy puppy. Nathan was a funny drunk. I remember sitting on his lap, putting my head on his shoulders.

“I don’t wanna be alone tonight”I whispered in his ear, then kissing his neck.

“Don’t make me leave, please” a tear fell from my eye.

Though I was intoxicated that night, I fully remember the way I felt being wrapped in his arms. I felt complete, loved, and secure. And before I knew it a kiss on his neck, led to a kiss on his cheek, then his lips, then his chest, then his abdomen. I can only recall pieces of us having sex, but from what I do recall, it was amazing.

“Flight 456 A for Miami Florida, the plane is ready” I heard over the airport intercom.

“This is it, I’m going home.” I told myself. “Can I even go home to Michael?”

I let my thoughts gather as I bordered the plane. I checked my phone one last time, I had a text from Nathan. It read

I heard about the fight between you Ryan, and Mike. If you need anyone I’m, hear for you. And I heard you’re pregnant? Is it true? Call me please Jackie, okay? 

“Oh wonderful” I thought

At least I know I could go to Nathan’s. But it’d be safer to stay with my brother, he was picking me up in Miami anyways. As soon as I sat in seat on the plane, I put my head back, and fell asleep.

**

I got woken up by the lady next to me 15 minutes before the plane landed. “We’re almost I’m Miami” she whispered.

“Thank you.” I yawned. I looked at me phone, it was 6 p.m Miami time.

“Just in time for dinner” I said to myself.

As the plane landed I took deep breaths, preparing for the hell I was most likely about to face. I got out of my seat, taking my carry on out from underneath me.

When I walked off the plane, to my surprise I saw my brother Chris with Michael. As I walked towards them, Chris flashed a huge smile.

“Hey little sis!!” He ran up and hugged me, then he put his hand on my stomach”And my nephew! Or maybe niece, but I know it’s a boy!”

I just smiled, looking up at Michael.

“I’m guessing he told you” I laughed. “I want a boy to be honest Chris, but girls are so much easier!”