InkeQuizzles and Chocolate Cake

The Great Battle Between the Sushi Monsters and Bacon Ninjas

Author's Note: This is dedicated to @BrainyBoy1200, the notorious Bento-Man. May radioactive lightning strike your fridge one day and then turn all your desired sushi and bacon into giant ninjas and monsters that will do your bidding. (don't ask, it might happen on another planet) 

Also, when you punch someone, they float away into outer space. Unless it's John Petrucci or John Myung. Or that really weird guy in Primus. And Cryaotic is secretly Batman.

Yes, that's right. 

Enjoy, fellow people, and remember that this is nonsense and true nonsense is garbage. It will raise a lot of questions. Hopefully.

...................

There once was this giant person on stilts that drank too much coffee. He didn't really like coffee, but a possessed garden gnome attacked him earlier that morning and poured three pots of it down his throat. It was really cold, though, so it didn't hurt or anything.

 He ran through the streets with an elephant tied to his shoe. He managed it better than most people would, but he kept tripping over rocks and sometimes the elephant would like launch him on top of sky scrapers and such. He didn't know how the elephant got there, or why there was so many carrots on top of the skyscrapers, but one thing was for sure: he had drunk too much caffeine. You could never trust possesed garden gnomes for anything. 

So, the giant person on stilts finally shook the elephant off of his foot and looked at his watch. Even the time looked weird. Too many emoticons. He took his watch off and threw it as far as he could. If time didn't make any sense, he might as well stay away from it. Hide from anything that made no sense. 

After he took a dictionary out of his top hat and threw it at the fire hydrant, skittles were spurting out and into his face. He smiled, because it was very refreshing. Now that things were finally starting to turn normal, he decided to head home. He lived on the top floor of the apartment that floated in the sky. The man on stilts loved his apartment in the sky... it gave him solitude and the laughing flying avocados kept him company as well.

The giant man on stilts (alright, I'm tired of calling him that, let's just call him Teyen) crashed on the couch and turned on the TV. And then these weird paper towel men burst through the ceiling and started attacking him with PS4 controllers.

"Ugh. I hate this channel," Teyen said. He took a paper towel man (they were all like eight inches tall) and threw him out the window. Then he took the remote and changed the channel. It started playing a game in which a bunch of people balancing Easter Island heads on their toes (it was a very popular sport where he lived). Teyen reclined his seat and relaxed, but then he remembered that there was one thing he forgot: food. 

He got back up (his stilts were off) and went over to the fridge, which was stocked mostly with bacon and sushi. Teyen reached into the back and pulled out a giant salmon skin roll. A dog went through the ceiling and landed on him

Teyen finished his sushi. Suddenly, he looked around, confused.

"What just happened?" he asked himself, confused. "I was being attacked by a dog and now I'm eating sushi??"

He shrugged it off, thinking it was probably nothing. He went back to his couch and then

Teyen woke up the next day, to a ferret in a rocking chair reading a book out loud.

"Wait a minute, it happened again!" he said. "How did I get here? And what are you doing here, Klaus?"

"You asked me to read The Great Gatsby until you went to sleep," the ferret said. "But it was so boring that you went to sleep anyway."