VENDING MACHINE OF DEATH

95 7 10
                                    


Caps lock is intentional. Because you don't see them very often. 

.........................

ONCE

THERE WAS A VENDING MACHINE

OF DEATH.

A LOT OF PEOPLE

WOULD BUY THINGS 

FROM THE VENDING MACHINE

OF DEATH.

ONE DAY

A MAN NAMED FLYNN

CAME UP TO THE VENDING MACHINE

OF DEATH

AND HE ORDERED A POPSICLE

AND WALKED AWAY WITH IT

THE POPSICLE

OF DEATH. 

IT TASTED LIKE STRAWBERRIES

STRAWBERRIES OF DEATH.

AND ONCE FLYNN ATE THE WHOLE THING

HE WAS HIT BY A FLYING DONUT

OF DEATH

AND THEN HE FELL INTO THE STREET

AND HE DIED.

THE NEXT MAN 

HIS NAME WAS ORANGE JUICE

HE WALKED UP TO THE VENDING MACHINE

OF DEATH

AND HE ORDERED A SANDWICH

BECAUSE APPARENTLY

THE VENDING MACHINE

OF DEATH

HAD BOTH SANDWICHES AND POPSICLES

.....

OF DEATHH 

AND IT HAD PEPPERONI ON IT

(THE SANDWICH DID)

((NOT THE POPSICLES))

AND THEN WHEN ORANGE JUICE WALKED AWAY

HE WAS ENCOUNTERED BY A WEIRD NORWEGIAN MAN

AND THE NORWEGIAN MAN SAID:

"WHY IS YOUR NAME ORANGE JUICE?!"

AND THEN ORANGE JUICE SAID:

"BECAUSE MY MOM LIKES ORANGES!! ALSO, I NEVER TOLD YOU MY NAME, SO HOW DO YOU KNOW?"

"BECAUSE I CAN READ MINDS," THE NORWEIGAN MAN SAID. 

"I WASN'T THINKING ABOUT MY NAME THOUGH," ORANGE JUICE SAID.

"THAT. DOESN'T. MATTERRRRR!!!"

AND THEN THE NORWEIGAN MAN KICKED HIM IN THE FACE. 

AND THEN ORANGE JUICE DIED.

THE THIRD MAN

HIS NAME WAS POIT 

DON'T ASK

THAT WAS HIS NAME

HE WENT UP TO THE VENDING MACHINE

OF DEATHHH

AND HE ORDERED A COKE

WHICH WAS THE ONLY NORMAL THING

ANYONE WOULD ORDER FROM A VENDING MACHINE

....

(OF DEATH)

AND ONCE HE TURNED AROUND

THERE WAS A RANDOM AFRO MAN

AND HE SAID:

"LOOK AT ALL THE CHAIRS MR. WHITE!" 

AND THEN POIT SAID:

"WHO'S MR. WHITE?" 

AND THEN THE RANDOM AFRO MAN SAID:

"HEY, BUCKET."

TO WHICH POIT REPLIED:

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT."

AND THEN THIS NINJA CAME OUT

AND SAID:

"YOU HELP ME SHOVEL?"

"TOO SLICK FOR YOUUUUU!!" 

(THAT WAS AFRO NINJA AGAIN)

"IS THERE A GANDALF LEFT NOW?"

(THAT WAS THE NINJA AGAIN) 

AND POIT LOOKED AT THEM WEIRD

AND THEN HE GAVE BOTH OF THEM CHOCOLATE BARS

AND THEN BOTH THE AFRO MAN AND THE NINJA SAID:

"THANK YOU SIR. HAVE A NICE DAY."

AND POIT WAS THE ONLY PERSON

WHO ORDERED FROM THE VENDING MACHINE

OF DEATH

WHO DIDN'T DIE

.... OF DEATH.

MORAL OF THE STORY: GIVE RANDOM STRANGERS CHOCOLATE. 

InkeQuizzles and Chocolate CakeWhere stories live. Discover now