The Question of Him

Do I have a daddy?

A few hours into being alone I decide to do something with my three week old silk press. It was fun while it lasted but I get tired of straight hair easily.

When the sun starts to set I pull the curtains open in my room and set up a canvas on my easel. Painting always guides me in the right direction, and with today's news, I definitely need some guidance. I wouldn't mind having another income, especially since the magazine doesn't take up much of my time. I just know myself too well and with men like that, they always fuck up some part of my life. I swore I would never go back.

Thankfully I wear myself out and fall asleep. I dream about a big house with a pool in the backyard.

Amiyah is playing Marco Polo with someone and it makes me smile. When I look down my stomach is protruding..a lot..like I'm pregnant. I rub it to make sure and feel a kick. I'm so happy in my heart at that moment, it feels so real. A hand lays over mine and asks, "Are they kicking again mama?"

"Yeah, you know they're busybodies like their daddy." I answer happily. I look up to get a look at the faceless voice but the sun is shinning too bright, I can't see them. Their lips kiss my cheek and whisper in my ear, "Daddy ain't the only busybody. How do you think we got twins?"

Riiiiiinngg! Riiiiinngg!

The shrill sound of the phone wakes me up and I roll over, picking it up. "Hello?"

"Mommy! You were sleep?" I sat up and looked over at the clock. 9:46. "Yes babygirl. What's wrong? Why are you up this late?"

"We were sleep but I had to potty and then I forget I didn't say goodnight to you so I asked Mrs. Jackson and she said I could call you." I sucked up the tears wanting to roll down my face. "Well say thank you to Mrs. Jackson okay? I love you and I want you to have sweet dreams."

"I love you too. I had a dream already mommy, you had my brother in your tummy. I hope it comes true." This little girl had us both dreaming about children. "That is a sweet dream. Now give me smooches and go back to bed."

"Kay, mmmmuah! Don't forget to pray mommy."

"I won't. Mmuah! Night babygirl."

"Night.." The call ended and I put the phone back on the hook. Before I went back to bed I prayed for guidance and my family. I thanked God for giving me my little girl and giving me light at the end of my dark tunnel. Whatever happens next I know he'll be there.

•••

"Please Phara, you have to come. I've been planning this for six months." Briana has been practically begging me for the past ten minutes to come to her benefit and participate in the biding. It was to raise money for local schools music and arts programs. I was all for it, however it meant I had to spend an evening with some old man for the money.

"Can I just bid for myself?"

"That's not how it works, and besides it's not old guys like you keep saying. It's mainly parents and teachers who are donors. Trust me, there are going to be plenty of good looking guys."

I sighed, pushing around the fried rice on my plate. She was not going to let me say no. "Alright, I'll do it. It's for the kids. What time does it start?"

"Seven. Tessa will be happy to know she has another head to watch. She's been trying to save up for her new car and all that."

"Mhm. How much is she charging? I know my cousin and she never does nothing for free."