The Question of Him

heartbeats

"You're what? You-you can't be joking like that Phara."

"What do you mean joking? You weren't joking when you came inside me, were you? Michael I'm pregnant and that's all you have to say?.."

"Shit!!" He hit the table, drawing attention to us in the semi crowded restaurant. I can't believe he's serious right now. "I thought you were taking the pill? What the fuck happened?"

Hiding the tears that were about to fall, I looked down to answer him. "I told you I stopped because they were making me sick. That's why we were using condoms."

"You know my wife is pregnant. I can't do this shit to her, not this. Let's just go to the clinic and get it taken care of."

"It?..Michael really? I mean I didn't expect you to be excited, but you want me to abort the child you put inside me? What happened to all that shit about being in love with me and leaving your wife? You said she was sleeping around on you too, so how do you even know the baby's yours?"

Chuckling darkly, he grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it, squeezing it tight. "That bitch knows I'll kill her if she ever gave away what's mine. And Phara, I am in love with you, you know that. We just can't have this baby right now, okay? I'll give you another one when we get our divorce."

My stomach suddenly starts to turn and I feel sick listening to him. He doesn't love me or my baby..he only loves himself. Not even his wife has this cold shell of a man. "You're never gonna leave your wife. You got her pregnant when you said you guys weren't even sharing a bed anymore!" I snatch my hand from his and try to move out the booth, but he grabs my arm.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm leaving. You've lied and manipulated me enough, I'm done." His grip tightened as he pulled me back to him and whispered harshly. "If you leave, you better not come back. I'll kill you if my wife finds out about that bastard Phara Camille."

Shivers ran down my back because I knew he was serious. He's a defense attorney with a lot of connections. Letting my arm go, he takes out his wallet and hands me five hundreds.

"Get it taken care of."

"Mommy!! Are you okay?" Amiyah shakes me awake from her seat. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Unbuckling my seatbelt, I scoot closer and hug her close. She wraps her arms around me, trying to comfort me. "It's okay..everyone has bad dreams. They aren't real."

I wish it wasn't. "I love you so much Amiyah. You know that right? Mommy loves you more than anything or anyone."

"I love you too. You're the best mom ever...I won't be mad if you love dad." I pull back to see her innocent face. "Dad?" She covers her mouth like she's said something bad. "I mean Mr. Nelson. Oh gosh, I'm sorry, I slipped. He said not to say it in front of you until you talked."

"What do you mean? Tell me what happened for him to say that."

"Well..the other day when you fell asleep, I made the boys play tea party with me. We were laughing and I accidentally said "dad stop!", cause he was making my stomach hurt from laughing. I was going to say sorry, but he wasn't mad. He said he was going to talk to you about it...are you mad?"

"No, no." A little surprised, yeah. "I'm not mad at all."

Knocking on the window startled both of us. I just noticed we were at a standstill. The privacy window rolled down revealing Khaled wearing a goofy smile. "Good morning! Dad said hurry or he'll leave without you."