The Question of Him

...for now

"I'll think about it."

Prince looked like he wanted to say more, but instead he told me to take my time. "I'm not pressuring you. I'll still love you either way."

I already know I'm going to say yes. Hell, the minute he asked me I wanted to say yes. I was only shocked that he asked so soon.

Cuddling closer into his side, I stare at nothing in particular with a million thoughts running through my mind. Mainly the question of me being ready to let my independence go and what that would mean for Amiyah. Of course she is going to love the idea, however, what if me and Prince don't work out? Did I get her hopes up for a real family for it to end just like that? She loves them just as much as I do and losing them would be devastating.

Slowly sliding from Prince, I wait to make sure he's still asleep before getting out of bed and leaving the room quietly. The clock reads 5:43 as I get a bottle of water and make my way up to the second floor, and turn up the living room's lights. Sitting down on the carpet, I open Amiyah's drawing book and look through it for the first time in a while. She draws a lot of animals and landscapes, a few from Paisley Park.

When I get to the drawing she was doing this morning, it's of the lagoon from the adventure park and a family of four standing in the background. If this is a sign, I understand it. I guess the real question is, is it worth it? Khaled and Prince have brought us so much happiness, of course they're worth it.

I open her pack of color pencils and turn to a new page, drawing the favorite part of my day; all of us feeding the sea turtles. I actually wouldn't mind getting an aquarium when we get back.

When I'm finished, I turn on the television and lay down on the couch, eventually falling asleep.

"Phara..baby, wake up. Why are you up here alone? What's wrong?"

I rub my eyes, sitting up on the sofa. The sun is up and Prince is sitting next to me in silk pajama pants and a scarf. "I was watching television and didn't want to wake you."

"All night?"

"No, no. What time is it?" I stand up and stretch, getting the knots out of my knees. "It's almost nine. The kids came to wake us up and you weren't there." He gets up, rubbing my back. "Was it what I asked last night? We can pretend I didn't ask.."

"I don't want to pretend. It means a lot that you asked. I just wasn't getting any sleep and didn't want to wake you."

"I'd rather you wake me then sleep without you.."

Why does he have to be so romantic? It makes my damn knees week. I agree not to leave him in the bed alone anymore and we go downstairs. Prince says he'll start breakfast while I do my morning routine. Amiyah comes in with her camera while I'm brushing my teeth and takes a picture of me in the mirror.

"Gotcha!"

"Heey!" I rinse my mouth out and give her a silly look. She laughs and fans the picture as it develops. "Dad said breakfast is ready."

"He did?" I dry my hands and sit at the edge of the tub. "Can mommy talk to you for a second?"

"Ma'am?" She walks over and sits down next to me with a small smile on her face. "Do you like being here with Khaled and Prince, in the house I mean."

"Yes.."

"So what if when we get back, we continue living together? How do you feel about that?" The smile on her face grows and she hugs me tightly. "I knew it."

"What? How did you know?" She pulls back and giggles, "Cause Khaled told me dad asked if he would be happy if we moved in.."

"You two don't keep anything from each other, do you?" She shakes her head. They have such a pure and genuine relationship that reminds me of me and my cousins. When I came to live with them it was like we'd been together all along. "That's right babygirl, family is always supposed to stick together."