returns ➴ letters spin off

for the first

saturday - 2 a.m.

i miss staying up with you until this time exactly every night. i always wished that we could just skip the part where we added our friends so it could just be the two of us.

i remember so many of the nights we stayed up together. i remember the first one we had. when you still liked jace (and he liked you) and all three of us were skyping. when jace had to leave for tennis practice you didn't end the call, i liked that. i really got to know you that day.

i also remember the call we had when you were on your trip to japan. you were sharing a room with your mom so you had to keep real quiet.

my favorite though, was when i told you i loved you for the first time. i guess it wasn't so romantic since it was a video chat. (sorry.)

it started out with you, gia and i making fun of each other. then somehow you started to get jealous when gia and i told each other that we loved it each other. (as a joke of course.) gia eventually went to bed and it was just the two of us again, like always. after a bit of talking about our favorite breed of dogs and how much we hated mr. pierce you said you were tired and yawned. i was tired too.

"goodnight. i love you." i said and quickly hung up. my heart starts pounding a hundred miles per hour until suddenly you type in;

aide: night. love you too. :)

i couldn't stop smiling.

it's sad to think that it's all different now.

you're wrong when you say that for us a year changed everything, because it wasn't the year that changed it all, it was me. (and i shit myself for it every fucking day.)

you're wrong about me being at that party though. sure, i was there, but i wasn't there forgetting you.

i was there missing you.

damn, i love you.

- eli