returns ➴ letters spin off

for the seventeenth

saturday - 5:24 p.m.

my parents miss you, aide. a lot. they always talk about you. they tend to forget that it's sort of a fragile topic. they're always talking about how pretty you look in your latest instagram post and how sweet you are when you reply to people's comments. they also say stuff like "oh i saw aide at the grocery, didn't see me though" or "i remember how aide used to bring lots of cookies over for chirstmas" then they'd cut themselves short when they'd see the look in my eyes.

there was this one day a few weeks after you had shun me out when my mom couldn't help but ask me what happened.

"eli, i haven't seen aide since you got back. where is she?" she came up to me as i was watching tv on the couch.

"probably at home." i say with a blank expression.

"why don't you invite her over? your dad and i miss her!" she says cheerfully.

"i can't." i say. "she hates me."

"what? she's head over heels for you."

"not anymore."

"how would you be so sure?"

"because she doesn't reply to any of my messages or answer any of my calls or even answer the door when i visit her house."

"why would she hate you, eli?"

"because i fucked up mom. i really fucked up."

"and in what way?"

"i told her i loved her and that i wanted to be with her then i left without telling her that i was going. i left her wondering if i was ever coming back. they told me she couldn't sleep for weeks, mom. i did that to her."

"well does she know why you left?"

"no."

"then tell her. she'll understand."

"she doesn't care about what i have to say."

"now i know that's not true."

then she told me a bunch of crap about how i'm a good guy and how our relationship was something i couldn't let slip.

but i already let it slip.

anyways, i just wanted to tell you that they miss you.

not as much as i miss you, though.

and definitely not as much as i love you, aide.

- eli