All These Years (Muke/Cashton)

Ch. 5 - Without You By My Side

*Ashton's P.O.V*

"Guys, I'm right here, I'm fine!" I laugh, waving my arms in the air in front of Calum, Luke & Michael.

I sigh, dropping my arms to my side as I turn to look over at my unconscious body lying in the hospital bed, hooked up to god knows what.

"He'll be okay" Michael tells Calum, in response to Calum saying how much he wants me to 'come back'.

"Yeah, I'll be okay" I agree, although I know he won't hear me.

Luke pulls a chair over towards my bed and offers it to Calum, who smiles weakly and sits down. "We'll leave you two alone for a bit" Luke tells Calum softly, patting his shoulder from behind.

"Thank you" Calum says with a slight nod, his voice sounds shaky.

As Michael & Luke leave the room, I lean over myself to examine my face.

Emotionless... And pale... That's all I got from looking at it. I shudder slightly and pull away, kneeling down beside Calum.

"Look at me, I'm a mess" I say, forcing a laugh. Calum, obviously, doesn't respond. I sigh again.

"Hey, baby" Calum says softly as he grabs my hand gently... Or my body's hand I guess I should say.

"Hi" I say, smiling softly at him. Calum bites his lip.

"Our mums are on their way to LA to help look after the kids... I just thought you should know that" Calum says, looking down at his lap. My eyes widen.

"Don't let them come see me!" I say panicked. "I don't want my mum to see me like this" I add, looking from him to my body in distress.

"Niall is looking after them until they get here" Calum adds. "God, I don't know if I'll ever be able to repay him for helping us" Calum says, shaking his head with a smile.

"God bless Niall Horan" I say, half smiling at Calum as his smile disappears.

"You scared me so much yesterday, Ash" Calum says with a fake laugh. His fake laugh turns in to a real one. "I couldn't sleep last night, so I went and slept in between Luke & Michael, they both wrapped their arms around me really tight which made me feel all warm and safe" he says, smiling.

"I'm glad you felt warm and safe with them, and I'm sorry I wasn't there to do it myself" I say, smiling at him.

"But then I thought of you, all alone here, nobody to wrap their arms around you and make you feel all warm and safe" Calum says sadly, blinking to fight back the tears forming in his eyes.

"It's okay, time flies when you're not inside your body" I joke, wishing he could hear me to laugh at my comment. But he can't hear me... so he doesn't laugh.

"Look at you, my beautiful husband-" Calum says, brushing over my wedding ring with his fingers. "You still look perfect to me, even with all the tubes and wires sticking into you, even with all the stitches up your arms, even with your pale, emotionless face" he says before pausing. "You're still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen" he finishes, a few tears slipping from his eyes.

I fight back the tears in my eyes, biting my bottom lip as I stare at my body. I look like a mess... I look horrible... But he still thinks I'm the most beautiful thing he's ever seen?

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Ash, and I'm completely lost without you by my side" he says, wiping a few tears away with his free hand before dropping it back down on the arm of the chair.

"I'm right here, right beside you" I tell him, I wish you fucking knew that. "I will wake up, Calum, I promise you!" I say in determination, resting my hand on top of Calum's free one.

Calum's hand twitches slightly and he looks down at it in shock before looking up, right into my eyes, well if he could see me it would be right into my eyes, his eyes narrow on the wall behind me before he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

"Goddammit, Ashton, if I didn't know any better I could have sworn you just-" he say in a mix of shock and confusion, looking over to my body before pausing and shaking his head. "It just felt like someone touched my hand" he says with a laugh. "Gosh, I must be losing it" he mocks himself.

"You felt that?" I ask in shock, standing up straight.

The room is silent for a moment, the only sound being the beeping noises coming from the machines I was hooked up to.

"I hope" Calum says softy, breaking the silence. "That you didn't feel any pain when you had that heart attack yesterday" he finishes.

"I didn't" I reply instantly, because it was true, I didn't feel any pain... Although watching a machine tell everyone I was having a heart attack while my body looked like it was completely oblivious to the pain was kind of disturbing.

That's the first thing I remember seeing, standing at the end of the hospital bed, watching the heart monitor go crazy as nurses rushed towards my body to save me. Then I saw Calum, Luke & Michael in the corner of the room. Luke looked liked he'd seen a ghost, Calum was crying on Luke's shoulder and Michael had his eyes squeezed shut as he kneeled behind Luke & Calum.

I though I was dead. But the heart monitor went back to normal and at least one of the nurses sighed in relief. I was so confused until I heard the doctor telling Luke & Michael I was in a coma. "Oh, so I'm almost dead?" I remembers asking with a fake, bitter laugh.

I remember watching Luke carry Calum out of the room when they left. Then I sat down on the chair beside my bed that Luke & Michael had been sitting on together, Michael on Luke's lap, crying on his shoulder for most of the time. I stared at my motionless body for a while, examined the gashes on my arms that had been stitched up, thinking about the scares that will probably never fully heal from this event.

Then everything went back until I heard Calum's voice this morning when he walked in with Michael & Luke.

There is a quiet knock on the door before it opens.

"Can we come in now?" Luke asks. Calum nods an Luke & Michael walk in, closing the door behind them. They get down on there knees on either side of Calum and wrap their arms around him, snuggling up to his chest.

"Take care of him while I can't" I tell Michael & Luke. I bite my lip and a few tears slip from my eyes. "Make sure he stays strong... Because I don't want him to be gone when I wake up" I add.

I lean against the hospital bed, watching my three best friends cry together, snuggled up tight.

I have to wake up.

I will wake up.