All These Years (Muke/Cashton)

Ch. 21 - Tomorrow Never Dies

*Ashton's P.O.V*

"It's hard to see the enemy,

When you're looking at yourself.

Maybe your reflection shows you screaming out for help.

And you try your best to just keep up,

And your feet they fall behind.

But the beat you're marching to,

You're keeping perfect time"

This song, this goddamn song describes how I used to feel perfectly.

I used to get upset because I felt like I was screaming out for help, but everyone seemed to be completely oblivious to it and it made me feel a million times worse than I already did.

I suffered like that for months, just getting worse and worse, day by day, drowning, choking, dying.

But somewhere along the line I met Luke, Calum & Michael, and they saved my life, wether they meant to or not.

I was always closest with Calum though, and over time- oh god, I get so fuzzy inside when I think of this- I fell head over heels in love with him, and thank fuck he did as well or I don't know what I would of done.

Call me strange but I believe things happen for a reason; I was meant to get depression, meant to hurt myself- and almost kill myself a few times, meant to suffer for God knows how long. They might not sound like nice things- and they weren't- but I feel like... Like if none of that had happened, I wouldn't of been rewarded with the life I have now, because I feel like I wouldn't deserve it as much.

But maybe I'm the only one that thinks that..

A soft snore from Calum snaps me out of my thoughts. I glance over at him and smile. He's snuggled up to a pillow beside me, still fast asleep.

I yawn as I roll over so I have my back to him and look up at the clock on the wall, it's 6:49am, I guess we'll have to get up soon.

I close my eyes for a few minutes to try and fall back to sleep, but my brain would much rather shoot thoughts around my head instead.

I almost jump in fright when two arms wrap around my waist from behind and Calum's buries his face in the crook of my neck. "Good morning, beautiful" Calum mumbles in his sexy as fuck morning voice.

"Morning" I mumble sleepily.

"Do you know that I love you?" He asks, his voice muffled against my neck.

"Of course" I reply quietly.

"Good, don't you ever forget it" he mumbles.

"Cal?" I ask quietly, all I get is a hum in response. "You saved my life" I whisper. It's silent for a few seconds.

"As did you for me" he says quietly, pulling himself up so he is hovering over me. I roll onto my back and stare up into his sleepy eyes. "I love you, Ashton" he says before leaning down and kissing me gently.

"I love you, too" I whisper as he snuggles back up to me.

*Luke's P.O.V*

"I hate you, Luke" Michael mumbles into the crook of my neck.

I'm laying on the couch with Michael snuggled up to me, Jace & Hazel are still asleep and we are just relaxing until it's time to wake them up to start the day.

"I hate you, too, Michael" I say, trying not to smile.

Michael pulls himself up and smiles at me, causing me to smile as well. "I fucking love you" he says before pressing our lips together.