Method of Desire

Chapter 43

Sitting at the round table, the men were playing poker and smoking cigars. Arthur wasted some champagne by pouring it on a girl who sat on his lap.

"I guess I'll go entertain those nuckleheads and you can go and chat with the ladies." Marlon smiled. The only ladies to speak to was either a paid one, or Teresa and her one friend.

I recognized my flaw in disliking Teresa, but I couldn't shake the feeling. I walked over to her and her blonde friend, and sat down next to them.

"I'm glad you and Marlon finally made it! This is Susan, she's a friend of mine who lives in the Big Apple." Teresa smiled and nodded.

"Nice to meet you, Susan." I said, putting on a smile.

"We were just talking about Hollywood and what a difference it is on Broadway." Teresa filled me in. "You know, I've been in quite a few films but Broadway really deals with a different formula when it comes to acting."

"And what would you know about Broadway?" I asked with a risen brow. Teresa paused, then looked to her friend.

"Well— I'm from Harlem. I kind of grew up loving the theater." Teresa shrugged. Then she gave me a warm, understanding laugh. "Are you passionate about the stage?"

"I actually don't act." I told her.

"You don't act? So then why are you asking her about Broadway?" Susan interjected. I stared at Susan, and she stared back.

"Susan... you can have such claws sometimes." Teresa said sweetly. "I'm sure you are well accustomed to the acting community since you are such good friends will Marlon."

Friends. That wretched word.

I looked to Marlon, who now took off his blazer and relaxed in his chair with his white shirt tucked out of his slacks. He had a fat cigar between his lips, and dropped a card on the table.

"Marlon! I swear your poker face is something else!" Arthur drunkenly shouted.

I looked back at Teresa, and Susan was whispering in her ear. Teresa nodded and then smiled at me.

"Well, it's getting late. We should get going. It's been a pleasure meeting you, Patricia." Susan smiled as she stood up.

"The same to you." I nodded and waved goodbye to Susan. Now they both left and I sat on Marlon's couch by myself.

I watched as he played card game after card game, bet after bet. Occasionally Marlon would look over to me, pointing up a finger while mouthing the words one more game.

I stood up in my formal dress, and slowly walked to his bedroom. Then, I took it off and laid in his bed. I faded off into sleep alone, with the white noise of men cheering and yelling at each other went on in the background.

"Sugar." Marlon's voice said behind me as he slid in the bed next to me. He was significantly drunk, and managed to take off his shoes and pants but kept on his unbuttoned white dress shirt. His bow tie was still untied and sat on his shoulders.

I turned to face the wall again, and he tossed and turned next to me. Finally, a heavy arm fell over my waist.

"I've missed you so much, Pat." Marlon slurred behind me. He pulled me close as he cuddled me. "I've waited months just to be next to you."

"You're drunk." I pointed out.

"I am." He said back.

"I can't believe that you put on this big show, taking me out on a horse carriage ride, talking about how much you missed me... and you couldn't even hold yourself together enough to spend the night with me." I complained.

But Marlon was silent. Way too silent. I turned over, and he had fall asleep with his arm around me.

I slipped out of the bed, Marlon was still out cold. Then, I managed to zip up my dress and be on my merry way.

I wanted so much to be with Marlon, and it seemed too good to be true for him to have changed. It had been a year but it was obvious he hadn't improved as much as I thought he did.

I walked down the New York sidewalk, deep in my thoughts.

Well— I wasn't perfect. I was flawed as well. I was a downright bitch when it came to jealousy. I was a tramp when it came to giving into Marlon. I was a critic when it came to others, but refused to critique myself.

However I still believed with these flaws, I deserved more. I knew I was worth more than all of this.

I knocked on the apartment door, and James opened it. He smiled, welcoming me inside.

"He's back." James said as we sat on the couch.

"How'd you know?" I asked, playing with the white gloves on my hand.

"Saw that the premiere was to be held here." James nodded. "And you saw him?"

"Yeah. He had a whole spectacle planned out for me too." I smiled, and James frowned. He'd had feelings for Marlon for the longest, and Marlon never reciprocated.

Marlon didn't show his feelings really to anyone, but he especially pushed poor James to the side. It seemed to be in his dark character, he was filled with aggression and sex yet lacked the plushy emotions James strived for.

The emotions that I was beginning to strive for.

"He never even called." James rubbed the back of his neck. "He never even picked up the phone and called."

I scooted toward James and wrapped him in a hug. His head rested on my shoulder as we sat there together in an embrace.

He kissed me, in those innocent of ways. At this point, that is how we showed our love together. However we had one thing in common, we both ached to be with Marlon.

James came with me as I went home to the dorm, just to see that I got home safely. He gave me a warm smile at my door, and then disappeared down the hall.

I knew James would be something some day, but something inside was bothering me. I couldn't put my finger on it. His innocence was so pure, it was almost too good for this world.

I shook off that feeling and went into my dorm, shutting the door. I drifted away into a sleep, filled with sweet dreams.