Method of Desire

Chapter 52

Marlon flew out to California for another shot at Hollywood. The actors at home laughed at his failure of a film, and penalized him for leaving Broadway in the first place. I continued with my studies, counting the days until break.

Marlon phoned me constantly expressing how much he wanted to see me, and how he wouldn't be able to resist me once I visited him.

The idea of visiting him on set was amazing. He was working with Vivien Leigh, an icon. I spoke on and on with him about how I loved Gone With The Wind. I hope I wasn't talking his ear off.

It was Christmas time, and I stepped onto that plane in a winter coat. Once I arrived in California, I had changed into a two piece outfit.

The shorts of the day got smaller and tighter, and the tops showed off my feminine silhouette. I looked forward to knocking Marlon out when he laid eyes on me.

My cab driver drove me to Warner Brothers Studios, and I still had my suitcase in hand. I hadn't even checked into my hotel.

"At the moment he's in his dressing room." An assistant told me as I stood in Stage 12. "I'll take your bag for you, and then you can go in and see him."

"It's fine, I'll go directly to him." I smiled and began turning around. "Where is his room?"

"Are you sure you want to see him right now? I could show you around the set if you like!" The man insisted. I looked to him.

"Marlon is a very good friend of mine and I haven't seen him in a while, I'd prefer to see him right away!" I smiled. I was in high spirits, I couldn't wait for us to be together again.

"Sure." The young man said. "Follow me."

We walked through the grounds of Warner Bros. and finally I got to his room. The name MARLON BRANDO was written in bold letters on the door.

It was as if I opened the door in slow motion, everything else in that moment was still. Everything, that is, except Marlon. My mouth dropped open.

Marlon was in front of a mirror with lights around the perimeter. The objects on the dresser in front of the mirror shook with every thrust.

Marlon was having sex with a girl I didn't recognize, and she looked in the mirror that they faced as Marlon moved in and out of her against the dresser. Her dress was unzipped and pulled down, and he didn't take the time to fully take it off.

For a few seconds, they didn't even notice me standing there. Finally, Marlon turned around quickly.

"Can we get some privacy? We have an hour break!" He shouted angrily, but then his thrusting stopped. The emotion washed away from his face as he looked at me standing in the door through the mirror reflection.

The girl looked to Marlon, who slowly turned his head to look back at me. I picked up the suitcase I placed on the ground and slammed the door.

"Patricia!" I heard from the other side of the door.  Tears began filling my eyes as I paced away from that door. I didn't know where I was going, I was in a place totally foreign to me.

It got hot in that studio so suddenly, and I stood in one place, then began looking around in every direction for an exit. I needed to get away.

"Patricia." Marlon stood in front of me. His pants weren't even buttoned properly. "I can explain—"

"You knew I was coming today. I don't know what's worse, that you did it in the first place, or that you didn't even care enough to clean up your act by the time I got here!" I shouted.

"I can explain! She's just an assistant! She's a nobody!" Marlon shouted as he motioned toward his dressing room. He didn't even bother to cover up the girl or conceal her from this embarrassment.

I angrily dropped my suitcase to the ground and stomped closer to him. I was inches from his face.

"You were smashing her!" I screamed back. "And you're an embarrassment to me!"

"Then leave! You're the one who wanted to come to California in the first place!" Marlon held his hands up, taking a step back.

"I wanted? You BEGGED me to fly out here only for you to basically spit in my face!" I shouted.

Marlon grabbed me by the arms, his fingers pressing into my shoulders.

"I'm not the guy you want me to be. I know that. It's either you accept that this is the way I am or you find someone else." He stared me right in the eye. "This isn't a fairytale."

I wiggled out of his grasp and picked up my suitcase. "Then I'm gone."

I strutted out of that studio, but inside I was falling a part. I felt like a fool for thinking Marlon could ever truly change. As I walked out, I even passed Vivien Leigh.

I didn't care, I couldn't care. I was too heartbroken to even recognize that Vivien Leigh was giving me a look of sympathy.

I walked out that stage door into the bright sunshine, and closed my eyes as I tilted my head back. Then sun washed over me, and I took a moment.

Then, I continued moving on, away from Marlon and towards my future.