My Writer My Lover

24.1.1

Jasmine's pov

Matapos kong sabihin ang salitang yun pinilit kong maglakas ng loob at lumabas bago pa niya tuluyang makita na lumuluha na ang mga mata ko

Agad kong tinungo ang bar, hindi ako pala inom pero I guess ngayon kailangan kong uminom para lunurin ang sakit

I was about to pour my first shot when someone grab the bottle and pour the contents on my glass

''You never drink anak, para saan to?'' wika niya s he sat beside me and put the glass in front of us

Shocked that's written all over my face

Ever since I left our home after I graduated I never heard him say anak like that again

Gusto kong umiyak

Gusto kong ilabas lahat ng sama ng loob ko

Gusto kong sumigaw

Patong patong na lahat sa dibdib ko at parang di ko na ata kakayanin pa ito

Kaya bahala na

Tears started to run down my eyes

''Pa...... '' at ang simpleng iyak ay naging hagulgol na halatang ikinagulat ng ama ko

He stood up and hug me like before

''Pa I never wanted to hurt your feelings po, I just want to find myself and think of what I can do best,cause believe me or not, pa I feel like i'm a failure,I cant exceed your expectations, i'm not as good as kuya cleg, i'm not as witty as kuya jec, hindi din po ako madiskarte like kuya jaz and kuya just, all I have is my passion on creating things that will make people happy, that's why I tried my luck po, i'm so sorry if I hurt you in anyway"

''Cleo''

Wika niya ang boses na lagi niyang ginagamit noon pag kinocomfort niya ako pag natatalo ako sa mga sinasalihan kong contest noon

''Pa let me finish po ngayon na lang ako magsasalita baka mawalan nanaman po ako ng lakas ng loob'' wika ko saka ko tinungga ng 1 straight shot ang rum na nilagay niya sa baso 

Halata ang gulat sa mata ko pero hinayaan ko na lang kailangan ko na tong masabi para matapos na

Ito ang problema sakin kaya kong sabihin sa ibang tao ang nilalaman ng puso ko pero hindi sa mga taong malapit sa puso ko natatakot kasi akong masaktan ko sila, o masaktan nila ako.

''I know your proud of me pa, ramdam ko po pero hindi po ako proud sa sarili ko at hindi ko po kaya ang mundo niyo,God knows how much I want you to be so proud of me,yung mas pa sa nakikita ko sa mata niyo paghawak niyo po ang mga medals nila kuya,so I tried going to law school pa,pero seeing the reality nang pinagdadaanan niyo araw araw ''that harsh reality''? Hindi ko po kaya..call me duwag po or anything which hindi niyo po akong pinalaking ganon pero yun po ang totoo duwag po ako''

Wika ko habang patuloy na humihikbi

''At hindi ko din po kayang palaging nakabuntot kila kuya ang pangalan ko o kahit sa inyo,that they always compare me and my brothers or if they would asked if anak niyo ba talaga ako?that hurts pa everyday that hunts me pa, kasi kahit sa paningin po ng iba hindi po ako sapat, but don't think na nakaapekto yun sa pagmamahal ko sayo o sa inyo pa, you're still my superhero my batman in my own Gotham city and my brothers are your own version of Robin but pa I wanted to be a hero too, someone you'll look up to and tell the world ''hey this is my daughter she's a writer but still my daughter'', I don't want you to be ashamed of me po, 

I hate the way you look at me the moment I left the house and I understand that pa, pero lumayo ako pa para hanapin yung kaya ko at balak kong bumalik na buo na ako at hindi ko kayo titignan sa mata isang araw na may pinagsisihan ako, nagkamali po ako and I can accept every punishment pa, even your cold stares but please just remember that whatever I do in my life po I will always go back here to you and mama cause you two are my life, you brought me to this world with full of love, don't think na nagkulang po kayo sakin ako yung nagkulang sa inyo''

I saw my father shed some tears tinanggal na niya ng tuluyan ang salamin niya

''Cleo you were never a disappointment to me and your mom, you are our greatest gift, I saw a lot of me in you kaya ginusto ko na maging kagaya mo ko,but anak i'm so sorry for putting in you in that tight spot,believe me gusto ko lang ng ikabubuti mo'' wika niya na lalong nagpabuhos ng luha sa mga mata ko

''I know pa pero what kuya did to me and to grey hindi po makatarungan yun" I finally said

Something happen to grey I know I felt it

He can't deny the fact na nabugbog siya I felt some scars not just on his torso but to his ears while i'm caressing it

I can also feel him hurting in every action he moves and when he enters me I can feel him getting weak

Gustong gusto niya sa madilim na parte na para bang ayaw niyang ipaalam na may masakit sa kanya but definitely meron,bugbog sarado si grey.

''Grey sinong grey? And what did your brothers did to you and that guy?''

The word shock and confused is written on my face

''Grey alfonso pa my boss?'' may pagtatanong sa mukha niya

''You fell inlove with your boss?'' tanong niya na nagpalunok sakin

Agad akong nagsalin ng rum sa baso at ininom ko yun ulit ng straight

''Yes pa, and grey is the one who saved me from the supposed to be rapist?'' tantiyado kong tanong baka may mahita ako sa mukha niya kung may kinalaman siya o wala

''Ah!!! The guy na palaging nagbabantay sa labas ng hospital room mo non, I like him he never left you kahit tinakot ko,kaya ka ba nagkakaganyan kasi binasted ka?''

''Hindi pa, he's getting married to someone else'' wika ko at hindi ko nanamang mapigilang umiyak

Niyakap niya ako ulit at tinapik tapik

''Niloko ka ba? Ginawan ka ng masama?pabugbog natin?'' wika niya sa pinaka malambing na boses na narinig ko sakanya

Agad akong napatingala

''Pabugbog?'' tanong ko pabalik

''Nak joke lang mahal kita pero di ko papabugbog yun hahaha papagaanin ko na lang loob mo madami pa namang lalaki dyan'' wika niya

''Pa bakit masakit?mas masakit pa ata to sa unang dysmenorrhea ko'' wika ko habang tinatapik tapik niya ang likod ko

Pero nakita kong umaalog ang braso ng ama ko at nanginginig

Nang tignan ko siya ay nakita kong natatawa siya

''Pa bat ka naman tumawa ei'' tunog ng batang paslit na nagrereklamo ang kaya kong ibigkas

''Dalaga ka na nga anak, kaya mo ng magjoke kahit pa nasasaktan ka na,I didn't know I raised a superwoman'' wika niya ng may maliwanag at mainit na ngiti sa labi

''Mana ako senyo ni mama ei'' wika ko pabalik at siya naman ang niyakap ko

''Pa thank you, thank you for understanding me your hard headed daughter,i'm sorry for all my mistakes and wrong doings pa,but this is how i learn po, i'm grateful for you and mama for sheltering me so much but like you i'm also a fighter pa'' wika ko habang yakap ko siya

'' I know anak its just whenever I look at you, I still see you as my princess, that little tiny ball of fire who punched his brothers nose because he took her Barbie,,the puffball who always run towards me when I get home''wika niya at napansin ko na muli siyang nagpahid ng luha

My dad misses me as much as I miss him pero baka mas malala pa

''Sorry pa if this talk took to long i'm so afraid to say this cause I might hurt you pero sa pananahimik ko mas lalo kitang nasaktan'' wika ko sa kanya at ang likod naman niya ang hinaplos ko

''Anak ka nga talaga namin ng nanay mo'' wikaa niya saka natawa

He let go of me and he smiled then he caressed my face

''Now tell me what your brothers did magtutuos kami ng mga kuya mong pasaway''

And then he became cold

Lakas ng topak ng tatay ko may switch personality 

a/n: shed some tears while writing this haha

so yes welcome me back mga mahal and enjoy reading

stay wet and see you guys on the next chapter