(Ayyy i'm back again with another not request! I don't know if you guys like these ones based off songs but do i really care? Yeah actually. You guys can tell me if you don't like them and i'll try to cut down on them. But anyway, i'm obsessed with this song and it makes think of how i am in school.)
Feel it cutting into me, the doubting painful knife
Feel it deepening the rift, finally hit just right
You stood there in the sunlight of the early morning sun rose, silent as your parents yelled at you about an F you had gotten in your worst subject, english. It had always been hard for you, but now that you were in a higher grade, your family always had a reason to yell at you about it. You held back tears, trying to show no fear in your (E/C) orbs, but to no avail. Warm tears fell from your eyes as your parents yelled about how you would never get a job if you kept getting F's like this. At this rate you would be late for school.
Couldn't take the love I had, so weak and burning low
But it grew into a weapon only hurting me, this I know...is nonfiction.
Your parents did this often, yell about your grades, But you always still loved them, no matter how much they yelled, no matter how much they emotionally abused you, you could never bring yourself to hate them. They may have been the cause of all your depression, but you just saw it as them getting their stress out, so you didnt tell. By the time they had stopped yelling, you had been ready to leave for a good 20 minutes. So you grabbed your things and left.
(Timeskip to your english class because i'm lazyyyyy!)
So good with numbers, science, math I like
But I'm terrible at English so I despise
As you walked into your english class, you felt the anxiety of having to do a worksheet, or read in front of the class, sink in. You sat down in your desk, next to your best friend Noelle. You gave her a quick smile as you sat down, which she returned. Unlike you, Noelle was good in all her classes, she had mostly A's. While you, had mostly D's. The only real things your were good at in school were Science and Math. As the class started, your anxiety worsened, when she passed out a worksheet, your anxiety worsened, when she said what you dont finish is homework, your anxiety worsened. This packet had 10 pages in it. There was no way you could finish in time. Next period is lunch, maybe you could finish there.
This part of me that wants a simple "right or wrong"
And I feel that everything I choose will always be false
As you turned to the page with the written questions, you held your breath. You hated these questions the most. The questions that didnt have simple "right" or "wrong" answers were the hardest for you. Unlike in math, something in math is always either right or wrong. You read a question and cringed quickly. "I'm going to get this wrong" You thought. "This question Definently isn't just right or wrong. Its my opinion. I-" Your thoughts were inturrupted by The teacher saying class was almost over, and that the class should start packing up.
(Timeskip to lunch because im STILL lazy)
And today-
This homework-
About me-
A blank sheet-
You sat at your normal lunch table, staring at the blank sheet of paper in front of you, you had no idea how to answer this question and you had been stuck on it since you left english!
Accomplished-
Content with-
This life I will now live-
You stared at the paper for a little longer, before deciding to just put an answer and hope it was at least sort of what she was looking for. A couple of bullies walked up to you as you wrote down your answer, pointing and laughing. "Can you even read the blackboard written clear as can be?" One said. "Can you even read her mind? See that kid's lost fantasy?" Another said. "Can you even find the one who dyed my red heart to black? Hey, who could it be? Hey, someone tell me!" You thought to yourself. "Can you even solve the question with your abacus yet?" One joined in. "Can you even stop the rope from hanging me by my neck?
Did we really choose it right saying we're okay this way?
Hey, just tell me how
It's not like I care now" you thought. But as the bullies walked away laughing, one yelled, "get ready for a fight, bitch!".
(Timeskip to after school because um yeah you get it)
Counting days like numbers, they all pass their prime
And again hypnotically swimming through time
Behind the power and guards I put up,
You stood in the courtyard, waiting for your parents to pick you up. You pulled out your phone, checking the time,"4:00. They're late." You thought. Just as you were putting your phone away, one of the bullies from earlier came up to you. "Remember what i said earlier? Lets do it." They said, they looked about 2 seconds away from punching you. You looked away, trying not to seem scared,
I hide
Knowing they had long died
But you were scared. And oh how the bully knew that. Just as they were about to throw a punch, Noelle ran in, grabbing them by the arm and pulling them behind her, trying not to get punched herself. She quickly took your hand, and ran. She ran until she got all the way back to your house. She stopped at your front door, breathing heavily from the running. "T-thank you..." you muttered. She smiled softly. "Its really no problem. I couldnt stand by and let you get hurt! She chirped. You hugged her quickly, before thanking her once again and walking inside your house.
(Fuck last Timeskip i swear. You're gonna be in a fight with your parents, also i skipped forward in the song.)
"Just open up your eyes, why don’t you grow up and see?" Your mother yelled at you. She'd gotten an email from your english teacher about how you "weren't participating" in class today. You were just trying to explain that you didn't understand. "But what the hell is "growing up" and tell me when will i be? Can a single person out there just explain it to me?" You yelled back. Just then, a loud smack echoed through the room.
your mother hit you.
You held your cheek, tears spilling from your eyes, as you ran into your room.
Hey, just tell me how
It’s not like I care now.
(Damn okay sorry that i keep doing these. I like em'. But yeah next update [for a oneshot] will be an actual request!)
