Getting Over You [On Going]

Getting Over You: Three Month Rule

Getting Over You: Three Month Rule

© 2014 PinkKitten 

“Bash! Hindi mo ba alam yung 3 month rule lahat ng taong na inlove at nakipagbreak alam yun, Bash maghihintay ka muna ng 3 buwan, diba 3 buwan bago ka makipag boyfriend uli. Hindi mo alam yun? Bash my 2 linggo pa ako eh, 2 linggo pa!”

Pamilyar?  

Isa lang naman ‘yan sa mga linyang binitiwan ni Popoy sa pelikula na “One More Chance”.

I’m sure alam na alam mo ‘yan. Alam na alam natin ‘yan.

Isa lang naman kaya ‘yan sa binabalik balikan ko na movie. Hindi lang siguro nasa 20 times (seryoso) ko na napanood ang One More Chance. 

Three month rule. We turn out to be so accustomed to hearing the same old thing over and over again. Right? 

Ang daling sabihin ‘no?

Tatlong buwan lang naman.

Tatlong buwan lang ‘yan.

Naitanong mo ba ito sa sarili mo nang nakipag-break ka or nang iniwan ka?

Para saan nga ba talaga ang three month rule? Gaano tayo katagal maghihintay para sa tinatawag na healing process?

Kailan natin sisimulan ang proseso?

How long is an ideal break?

How soon we have to let go?

After numerous goodbyes which doesn't make dealing with my heartache any easier I still managed to realized the importance of the 3-month rule.

Few things I’ve realized:

First, the three month rule purely implies to give each other a sign of respect.

Respect is something a relationship should have. It is an essential part of a relationship other than love.  Kahit naghiwalay na hindi pa rin dapat mawawala ang respeto sa isa’t isa. Respeto na tila hindi ko naramdaman.

Napakasakit na wala pang tatlong buwan nagawa na niya akong kalimutan. Tila ba ang ilang taon na aming pinagsamahan parang hindi man lang niya pinahalagahan. Hindi man lang ako binigyan ng respeto para akong binastos ng harap harapan at sinaksak ng talikuran. Noot hanggang bone marrow ang sakit.

Second, the three month rule is in effect if the break-up was not a mutual one.

Kapag iniwan ka na lang bigla you still have to wait a certain time what if confused lang ang partner mo. Baka may bumabagabag lang sa kaniya. Baka may kabag, ‘di matae, LBM o dysmenorrhea. Try to understand the situation.  Baka kailangan lang ng diatabs o kaunting pagninilay-nilay.  All lovers take a break from each other now and then. Maybe the two of you need to heal and think it over in separate ways. Huwag agad mag opt sa rebound.  

Napakalaking No. No. Kapag nag-iisa tayo tendency is to find a replacement to make us feel less lonely. We stick at taking lovers on a rebound. Rebound relationships never last. Believe me. Rebound put us in the way of vulnerability from opportunist; we're emotionally unequipped to deal with them resulting to another relationship failure.

Third, the three month rule gives us much more time to realize who actually love us.

Anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you, but it takes someone really special to stay. The time rule gives us the opportunity to see who really matters to us our family, friends and loved ones. Family that will be there for us, friends that will never leave us and loved ones that will care and love us till the end. 

Lastly, the three month rule gives us much more time to spend with ourselves.

The rule is probably nature's way of giving us some time to reflect on why our past relationship didn't work. It is a virtuous time to assess ourselves what we really want in our life. We all have the time in the world to make better versions of ourselves. Bakit nga ba tayo iniwan? Bakit nga ba tayo hiniwalayan? Siguro may mali o may kulang. Sa panahon na ‘to magkakaroon ka ng pagkakataon na makita ang tama o maling bagay para sa sarili mo. 

Nasa iyo ang oras at panahon. Three months? I’m sure kulang pa ‘yan once na malaman mo kung ano talaga ang mga bagay na gusto mo gawin. Take advantage of the opportunity to spend quality time with yourself. Find your happiness within you even if you're feeling shattered inside. Huwag mo idepende ang kasiyahan mo sa iba.

Keep in mind that you’re doing the three month rule for yourself not because you are waiting for him/her. Think about what you can do in three months – focus on your appearance hit the gym or have a makeover, make yourself useful, volunteer,  learn to pole dance, book a flight to the moon, anything that might help you to heal and move on after a breakup.

Three months might not be enough to heal the pain. Healing process will soon start after you stop trying to cover up the unhappy feelings and pain that is inside you. Moving on and letting go for a time is challenging. But it's not impossible.

[A/N]

You can share with me your own stories of heartache and pain. I want to know how you fought and survive the misery of heart break. 

Click the YouTube link for Popoy’s line.

‘Till next.

xoxo