Getting Over You [On Going]

Getting Over You: Paranoia

Getting Over You: Paranoia

© 2014 PinkKitten 

Most of the time the ex-girlfriend is the bitter one but what if the ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend is the one who can’t get over the past.

This situation blew over earlier this week my ‘ex-boyfriend’ called me out-of-the-blue and warned me to be careful who I trust because he's current girlfriend asked some guy to stalk me and gather information about my life. It was creepy, inappropriate, and very upsetting.

I am a person who tries to be friendly and polite to everyone who crosses my path, even with my past lovers. The reason his recent message upset me was that I had thought this issue was closed.

It was my first serious relationship, I was completely infatuated with him, and it seemed like we were heading towards marriage. We both eventually started to have doubts about our compatibility, and the fact that both of us had really lost our sense of self in the midst of loving each other. It was a mutual decision to separate and pursue independent lives.

Then, I kept my distance somehow certain circumstances insist on funneling the drama back and forth. She has some deep insecurities and even deeper issues that have nothing to do with me. I've tried to find empathy towards them and make an effort to change my own actions even if I could not change theirs.

Everyone goes through jealousy, insecurities and paranoia. E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E.  It is a very hard process to overcome jealousy of your partners ex, I know because I had the very same insecurity.  The pang of jealousy with certain circumstances had once made me monumentally insecure.

If she can't get over about her boyfriend’s past, that's fine, but respect her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s decision of getting over their past. Each and every one of us comes with a past; it makes us who we are. We all have them, and we all have stories that make us who we are and shape the way we view situations.

Short message for my/the ex:

The fact that’s she’s bothered about your past lover is quite concerning and DISTURBING. Asking someone to stalk your ex is creepy and upsetting.

She wants to be with you so she needs to trust you. Whenever she does seem jealous let her know you would never do anything to hurt her and that your ex is only a friend now. But if your current partner believes that no friendship should survive from your past lovers then don’t tell her that your friends with them (even a distant friend) so she can see first-hand. Sometimes people just really need to see things for their own eyes.

Short message for the current lover:

Dwelling on partner's previous lovers might be a shitstorm in a relationship. The more time you spend thinking about how mad you are with his past, the more this will become a comfort zone for you.

Your partner is with you for a reason. Don’t let jealousy cloud your chances of being truly happy and content with your partner enjoy the time you have together and just make the best of it.

Let the past be in the past and focus on what you have now and what you want in the future. Stop inflicting self-harm as you conjure up your lover's romantic past. I'm afraid that it may get all down to you. Unless you develop more realistic expectations and a sense of gratitude for the blessings you've been given.

-----

‘Till next.

xoxo

[A/N]

You can share with me your own stories of heartache and pain. I want to know how you fought and survive the misery of heart break.

Shameless Plugging

What Happens After The Kiss Chapter 5 to 13 posted.