𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 | 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐲 ✔️

30. Love you better now

Zach's p.o.v.

I had just done the hardest thing I have ever had to do and Jack's just standing there, not even moving. This was all a mistake, I should never have done this.

As I turn to walk back to the room, I see Jack take a step towards me. I feel like running away again, but I stand my ground. Maybe I should just see where this goes, I've already hit rock bottom so it can only go up from here.

As Jack notices I'm not going to run away this time, he steps closer and closer.

This was a bad idea, I have no control around him. I feel a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach as he gets closer. I wonder what he's going to d-

My thoughts were cut off by the feeling of Jack's lips against mine. For a moment I let him, my mind being clouded by pure bliss. But as soon as common sense kicked in, I pulled away.

"No Jack, we can't do this. We hurt each other too much, things can't end well for us."

Jack's face fell, and he stared at mine for a moment before speaking up.

"Zach...what do you not get? I love you. You think I'm gonna let you go that easily? I would do anything for you, and I would never even dream of ever hurting you again. Please Zach... give me a chance."

I stayed silent. I wanted him so bad, this is everything I'd ever wanted to hear, but how did I know he wasn't just playing me again?

No, I know Jack, and he's a good person. He would never hurt me. I need to stop hating myself and let myself love. Let myself be happy. The love of my life just told me he loves me, am I really just going to throw that away? Even if this is all a mistake... I'd hate myself even more if I never knew. If I never even tried...

I laced my fingers around the back of Jack's neck and drew him in, bringing him in to a deep kiss. We stayed like that, outside in the grey, miserable weather, soaking wet and freezing. Jack's lips were warm and buttery, and with every moment we kissed I wanted more.

I craved to stay in this moment forever, but I needed air. I pulled away, lightly panting as me and Jack smiled at each other.

Next thing I know, my legs are wrapped around Jack's waist and he's carrying me back in to our room. "Oh, this is new" I teased. He chuckled, gently placing me down on the bed.

"We need to get out of these wet clothes" I said, shivering. Jack smirked at me, taking off his hoodie. I was not prepared for what came next. Oh my, shirtless Jack Avery was a beautiful sight. I nervously gulped, my eyes fixated on his bare chest, unable to rip them off of it. I'll tell you one thing I want to rip off, his pant-

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Jack's sweet laugh. "Stop looking at me like that, you're making me feel self conscious." He said, chuckling.

I pulled him closer to the bed, tilting my head up to look in to his eyes. I began to trail light kisses down his chest, and through each kiss, I spoke. "You kiss are kiss the most kiss beautiful thing kiss I've ever kiss seen kiss" I mumbled half coherently.

Jack lifted my chin up, putting an end to my kissing. He leaned down so his face was level with mine. "Then I guess I'll have to buy you a mirror" he whispered in to my ear. I shuddered at his voice.

Slowly, he pulled me up off the bed and looked me in the eyes as he reached for the hem of my (well, his really) hoodie and slowly lifted it over my head, throwing it to the bed.

Now that I was exposed, I felt the fear that had since been blocked out by the bliss. I was still quite underweight from the time where I refused to eat. Shyly, I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to hide myself. Jack gently gripped my wrists and pulled my arms away so that he could see me. I could see the alarm on his face.

"Zach... I don't understand. Did you do this to yourself?"

I didn't respond and instead looked down, ashamed. Jack's face softened.
"Zach... Why would you do this to yourself?"

I looked up at him, tears brimming my eyes. "I'm sorry Jack" I sniffled.

"No no no Zach" he said, sitting me down on the bed. He sat next to me and wrapped an arm around me. "You have nothing to be sorry about, but please Zach, just tell me why you did it."

I started sobbing, not saying anything. I didn't want Jack to know that he was the cause of this, because he would feel terrible about himself. Although, I don't think I needed to say anything, because by the appearance of his face it seemed it had just dawned on him.

"This... this is because of me, isn't it?" He said, his voice quiet. I refrained from saying anything, knowing that if I tried to speak I would completely break down. The hurt and guilt in Jack's voice broke my heart.

"I can't believe this. No matter what I do, I always hurt you. I... I did this to you. I hurt you Zach, I really..."Jack's voice slighly broke as he tried to hold back tears. "I really hurt you..."

"Don't say that, Jack. You can't say that!" I tried to hold his reach for his hand, but he pulled it away.

"Maybe you're right Zach, Maybe we don't have a place together... Maybe we don't belong together. Maybe all we'll ever do is cause each other pain."

Jack turned his head away from me, too ashamed of himself to bring himself to look at me. I couldn't stand what he was doing.

"Don't say that, you can't just leave me again. Nothing could ever hurt me more..."

I saw Jack shed a tear, refusing to look at me. I gently lifted his chin, so his eyes could look nowhere but in to mine.

"If you want to make it right, then be here for me now. You say that all we do is hurt each other... But that's not true. We're to scared to confront our feelings, and the truth. That's what hurts us. Please Jack, I don't want you to blame yourself. It was never your fault."

Jack faintly smiled, his tears lightly brimming his eyes. I wiped one from his cheek.

"Zach... Please, just promise me one thing. I need you to tell me you'll never do anything like this again. I just don't understand why you would ever want to do something like this to yourself. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you... You're perfect in my eyes."

I couldn't stop a smile from spreading across my face, my cheeks tinting a dark red. Jack noticed, laughing. This only made me turn redder.

"Is little Zachy embarrassed?" Jack teased. I sighed, bringing Jack closer. "Shut up, noodles" I jokingly whispered before pulling him in to a kiss.

Guyssss I'm sorry I've been M.I.A. on you, but I'm gonna try and update more regularly whilst I'm on break. Also, I'm finally giving you all some JACHARY! Wbk I've been lacking, but I'm back and it's whack. That's all chirren, love you all.