𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 | 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐲 ✔️

45. In the feels

Daniel's p.o.v.

Corbyn unlocked the door to his hotel room, pulling me inside. I had slept in his room last night; I hadn't wanted to face Jonah, because I knew that if I had... I'd let my emotions run wild. I'd probably have ended up saying something I'd regret.

Corbyn gently sat me down on the bed, and cautiously sat down next to me. "Sooo...are we really gonna...?" Corbyn questioned, letting his sentence trail off.

My heart pounded in my chest as nerves coarser through me. What would Jonah think if he knew? Would he even care? I bet he wouldn't...

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. It was hopeless loving Jonah. I was pathetic. He was the only thing that filled my mind, day in and day out. And it scared me. Why can't I get him out of my head!?! HOW do I get him out of my head!?

My eyes suddenly landed on Corbyn. Oh. That's how.

Maybe if I tried something with Corbyn, I could get Jonah out of my head... maybe I could even start to feel what I used to feel for Corbyn again.

At this point, my mind was numb and my heart was desperate. It ached, knowing it loved someone who loved someone else. I was only ever a toy to Jonah, something he could use and get rid of as soon as something better came along. It hurt me so much, and I didn't know how to subside the pain of the heartbreak he caused. I was willing to do anything just to feel a little bit better, even if only for a short while. And so, I turned to Corbyn, and smashed our lips together.

Corbyn immediately responded, putting his hand around my neck and pulling me closer. My hands found their way up to Corbyn's bleached blonde hair as they ran through it and tugged on the ends, earning a moan from Corbyn and an opportunity for me to slide my tongue in.

Corbyn pulled away, heavily panting. In his eyes, I saw something dark and lustful. I had to admit, I didn't hate the feelings Corbyn gave me, but it made me feel uneasy. It didn't feel right. Why couldn't I enjoy it? Why was my mind so fixed on that someone else?

"Wow... I enjoyed that a lot more than I probably should have..." Corbyn admitted. I stared at him, surprised. "Is it ok if I....?" Corbyn indicated that he wanted to continue. I nodded my head, giving him permission.

Corbyn reattached his lips to my neck, softly trailing kisses down it. I gripped onto his shirt, urging him to go on. I shut my eyes tightly, momentarily enjoying the sensation until an image popped into my head. An image of Jonah. I remembered how his lips grazed my skin, and how he could make me feel without even letting his lips touch mine.

I tried to push the image out of my head, but I just couldn't. Jonah. Jonah. Jonah.

I felt Corbyn's hand trail down to my jeans, fiddling with the button. I wasn't comfortable with this. It wasn't right. At this point, it wasn't even the fact that I couldn't do this to Jonah. It was the fact that I couldn't do this to myself.

"Corbyn, wait, stop. Stop" Corbyn immediately pulled away. "I'm sorry, are you ok?" He asked, concerned. I nodded, not wanting him to think he'd done anything wrong.
"I'm sorry Corbyn, I just can't do this. It's not right."

Corbyn paused for a moment, listening to what I was saying before nodding and pulling me into a tight hug. "I'm just happy that now you know what you want. You know how to fix things for yourself; you know how to make them right again."

I tightened my grip around Corbyn, thankful to have someone so caring and understanding in my life. I was so lucky to have a boy like him as a friend.