𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 | 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐲 ✔️

48. Helpless and alone

Maddie's p.o.v.

Earlier that day...

I woke up to a feeling of nausea washing over me. Getting out of bed, I clasped a hand over my mouth and rushed to the bathroom to throw up. This had been happening for a few days now, and I was beginning to get concerned.

There was always the thought at the back of my mind telling me something was wrong, but I pushed it away, because if I really allowed myself to think about it, the thought that I might be pregnant would sink in... and I wasn't ready to deal with that. I kept that thought out of my head as best as I could. I mean, it didn't even seem plausible. It couldn't be possible, right? I'm on birth control...

Although I have been missing taking pills here and there... but I couldn't have been that irregular, could I? Maybe it's time for me to deal with this. I can't just keep ignoring it, hoping it will go away. It won't.

Throwing some clothes on, I sigh. I grab a jacket and leave the house.

My eyes scan the shelves, looking for a pregnancy test. I don't see any, so I timidly walk up to the pharmacy counter. Behind it stands an older lady; her hair is tied into a tight bun and her rectangular glasses hang off her nose. "What can I do for you today?" She asks politely, a mandatory tight smile on her lips.

I gulp, looking past her. "Do you have any pregnancy tests?" I asked, my voice low. Her smile soon faded, and her eyes went cold. Granted, I was still quite young, but it put the lady in no position to judge me.

"Would you like any one in particular?" She asked, her tone flat and dead as she avoided looking me in the eyes. I bit my bottom lip, contemplating. "Whatever's cheapest" I requested, pulling on my sleeves to give me something to concentrate on. She cleared her throat, unpolitely passing me a thin box.

"Cash or card?" Silence. "I said, cash or ca-"
"Cash?" I spoke up, questioning myself. I handed her a note and she made short work of giving me back my change.

I nodded, mumbling a quick thank you before swiftly exiting the pharmacy. I ran back home, anxious to get the result and put my mind to rest.

I read the instructions on the back of the box, placing the used stick on my bathroom sink. It says to wait for three minutes; one line means a negative result, but two indicate pregnancy.

I paced my room, checking my phone every three seconds, waiting for the time to pass. One minute. And some more waiting. Two minutes. And some more waiting. Three minutes. And finally it was time.

Suddenly, I felt as if I was not ready. I wished I had a hand to hold, or for the consoling words of another, even just for a shoulder to lean on...

But over the past few weeks, I had slowly lost everyone. I never allowed myself to form real or close relationships, and instead based my life on meaningless encounters. I hadn't cared enough to make anyone stay...

I took a deep breath, making my way over to the sink. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, scared to look at the results. Slowly opening my eyes, I picked up the stick and let my vision focus on it. Two lines. It was positive.

I dropped the stick, suddenly feeling frozen. My mind was blank. It was as if I couldn't feel anything at all. Calmly, I walked into my room and sat down onto my bed. I took steady, calm breaths and stared at my white wall for what felt like an hour, until it all hit me. A strong wave of mortification slapped me, and I broke down all at once. I held my face in my hands as my tears streamed and my sobs became uncontrollable. I was pregnant, I was young, and I was alone.