Flying Too Close to the Sun

Pippa

A/N: My updates will be a bit sporadic over the next couple weeks (holidays + 5-state road trip with the BF!).  Thanks for reading!

Lin had a big heart. Almost too big sometimes. He saw America struggling and he wanted to help her. Now that she was away from her mother, she seemed like a nice enough kid. However, we already had four kids, including five-year-old twins, who were a handful. Did we really want to bring another teenager into the mix? And one that had been a troublemaker in the past?

We also had Molly to consider. I could tell she was still uneasy around America. The girl had crushed her world unapologetically. Now that same girl was at her house constantly. I noticed Molly staying in her room more than usual. My daughter should be able to feel comfortable in her own home.

I knew Lin wanted to bring it up, but I was still unconvinced. I wasn't expecting Cam to bring it up to me, but she did one night when I was cooking dinner.

"Pippa, have you thought more about fostering America?"

I looked at her, surprised to hear it from her. Had Lin really talked to her about it?

"Your dad talked to you about that?"

"Uh-huh," she said. "I think it's a good idea. Her mom's crazy."

"She definitely is," I told her. "But Cam, there's already four kids in this house. The twins are already a lot of work."

"You'll barely notice her," Cam countered. "And she can share a room with me."

I sighed. "Have you forgotten all the trouble she caused? I'm sure she's been on her best behavior so far, but I'm not so sure she wouldn't be challenging."

"But that's all because of her mom."

"Cam, I'm not discussing this with you," I told her. "This is a decision between your father and I."

She looked annoyed that I was shutting her down. Of course she wanted America to live here. They were practically besties now. She wouldn't have to deal with the paperwork, the court appearances, the extra work that another kid brought. She'd just get to giggle and have a good time with America. Cam had been doing pretty well lately behavior-wise and I didn't want America having a bad influence on her.

"Fine," she huffed and disappeared to her room. I was really perturbed that Lin had mentioned the possibility to Cam when we still hadn't decided anything, and I let him know. When he walked in the door I think he could tell from the look on my face I wasn't happy with him. He gave me a kiss on the cheek, testing out my mood.

"Dinner smells good," he complimented me.

"Thanks," I told him. "Cam just came up to me and asked about America moving in."

Lin put his hands on his hips and nodded. "I asked her not to mention it to anyone."

"Lin, how could you?" I accused him. "Now if it's a no, she'll blame me. I'll be the bad guy. You both seem to be forgetting the possible negatives."

"Like what?" he asked me.

I named on the paperwork, court dates and extra work, plus the possibility of her trouble-making tendencies to rear their ugly head. I mentioned Molly and how uneasy she was around her.

"But Pippa, she's a child," he reminded me. "She didn't ask to be put in this situation. No one else is gonna take her."

"Why does it have to be our responsibility?"

"Because we're caring adults and we know her," he said. I sighed and stirred at the rice. Lin walked up behind me, resting his hands on my hips. His lips were close to my ear, a weakness, and he knew it.

"I really don't think she'll be a problem," he told me. "She's in a different environment with two adults. The twins are crazy about her, and I think she's taking that to heart. Give her a chance."

I closed my eyes, hating how convincing he could be. I turned around to face him, his hands still resting on my hips. "If she causes any problems whatsoever, she's gone," I told him. He just smiled. In spite of myself, I smiled a little bit too. He kissed me, then rested his forehead against mine.

"Thank you," he told me. "I don't think you'll regret it."

"Don't hold your breath," I told him as I moved to escape his grasp. I still wasn't really happy about this, but I decided to trust Lin. We'd take a chance on her.

The next day, Lin contacted a lawyer to get the ball rolling on fostering America. There was an emergency process, which we took advantage of. A couple days later, we had a member of Child Welfare Services come to our house to interview us. We showed her around the apartment, pointing out where America would be staying. We'd managed to borrow another twin bed from a friend and set it up in Cam's room. We heard back the next day that we'd been approved, and America was allowed to move in.

Cam was over the moon that her new friend was moving in. She helped her move her stuff in as they played music. It was hard to believe that just a couple weeks ago they were mortal enemies.

We ordered in pizza and sat around the table, talking and laughing. Molly looked unsure of the new situation.

"Mom, can I eat in my room?" she asked me quietly. We usually didn't allow that, but I decided to let her do it. She picked up her paper plate and cup and disappeared into her room. Lin and I exchanged a concerned look. As we cleared up the mess later, we decided we needed to clear the air with Molly and America. I poked my head into Molly's room and told her to come out to the living room. Lin had gotten America.

Molly looked very uncomfortable as she sat down, far away from America.

"Girls, I think we need to have a little chat," I began, sitting across from them. "America, as you may remember, you cut Molly's violin strings a couple weeks back. That really upset Molly. Now that we know you a little better, you seem like a pretty nice person. Is there anything you'd like to say to Molly?"

America nodded and bit her lip. "Sorry I cut your strings, Molly," she apologized. "I was in a messed-up place. I shouldn't have done that."

"Thanks," Molly said quietly. I could see her shoulders relax a little bit.

"I don't think you need to worry about America being mean to you," Lin told her. "Right, America?"

"Right," she agreed. "My mom had me do all kinds of crazy things. I'm really sorry."

Molly nodded again and seemed more comfortable. "Great. We just wanted to clear the air since America will be living here for a while. You can both go back to your rooms."

They both got up, but Molly hung back for a moment. "Mom, have you thought any more about me going to Japan?"

I sighed. I tried not to think about it. "I have a little. Have you been thinking about it?"

I'd asked her to think about it for at least a week. It was a pretty giant decision. She nodded and looked down. I knew what she wanted without her having to say it. I tried not to show my disappointment.

"Are you sure, honey?" I asked her and she nodded. I felt Lin's hand on my hip, supporting me. "Alright. If that's what you really want, I won't stop you."

Molly broke into a smile and hugged me tight. "Thank you thank you thank you!!" she said, jumping up and down. I liked seeing her happy, even though it was crushing me. She ran off to her room and my shoulders slumped. I felt Lin gently turn me and bring me into a hug.

"I'm proud of you," he told me as he held me. I just sighed.

"What am I gonna do?" I croaked out. Lin kissed my cheek.

"You're gonna get through it," he told me. "You'll miss her. I'll miss her. But she'll still be part of our lives."

In bed that night, Lin held me, knowing I needed it. How many mothers had to go through something like this? Letting their child move to another continent? I wasn't sure if I could bear it. I felt a deep resentment towards my ex, Austin, for taking her away from me. Then I felt guilty about it. I finally fell asleep, my heart heavy, dreading my baby leaving me.