But, None Of That Matters.

Chapter 12- Follow You

The air is dry with bleach and there's a grief that hangs itself on the walls, darkening the grey.

The worst part.

The waiting room.

The suffocating corridor.

The maybe place.

Whatever you may call it.

It's so unsettling. I can't see Caspian; not until he's in a stable state.

I texted Gunner, who replied. He's on his way to the hospital now.

I'm sitting here, restless. Waiting for anything to happen. Relying on the TV as a distraction; to drill a hole in my head and fill it with useless nonsense like the weather forecasts, football results, local concert advertisements and make-up selling programs. Everything that I don't need.

I nest my face in the palm of my hands and dig my elbows into my knees.

I feel like crying until my eyes become parched. I didn't watch out for Caspian, I was too preoccupied with Lily to even think of him... What must've happened for things to go this far?

What hasn't Caspian been telling me?!

"Ed, which room is he in?" Gunner hurriedly jogged over to where I had hidden myself.

"That one." I pointed to the door, directly opposite.

A man in a doctor's uniform came out of the same room.

"Are you the carer?"

"Yes I am." Gunner replied confidently.

"Great, I'd like to talk to you about Caspian." The doctor lead Gunner to an office room on the other side of reception. "Oh, and you can go and see him now, Edward. He's not awake- but, he's alive."

Surprisingly, I can't say that I'm too enthusiastic to see him. I'm scared that he'll look different. Too different.

I can imagine that he'd just want to sleep, even though questions are almost falling off my tongue. I want to know what happened and why.

I drew the curtain from around his hospital bed and sighed.

Like a pallid ghost, his cloud of unconsciousness made him completely oblivious to the world around him.

But, surely he doesn't want me here? He'd want his mum, his dad, or perhaps a sibling?

However, there's no one here; other than Gunner or myself.

I sit on the stool next him. What are you thinking Caz?

You can tell me everything and I promise not to tell a soul.

A sledgehammer of guilt carved through me.

You were always there for me, but what did I ever do for you?

I let my hands tighten around the folds of his bed sheets.

Just hurry and wake up.

I'm waiting.

My back slouches as I slowly lower my head onto the duvet.

"Edward, go home." James' voice resonated from beside me. He sounds as tired as I feel.

"What time is it?" I regretfully opened my eyes to unwelcoming fluorescent tubes of light balancing on the ceiling.

"Five in the morning." He slid his case in the gap between the bed and the side-table. "So, it's my turn to stay. I can give you some money for a taxi if you need one."