Missing

Chapter 1

Everyone's eyes immediately fell on me the moment I walked through the door.  I could already tell that the first day of school was going to be dreadful.
       "Connor!" I heard Alana Beck's voice before I actually saw her.  Seeing her hurt.  It reminded me of Zoe.  I glared at her and continued to walk to my assigned locker.  Determined, Alana kept at my side.  "Connor, I'm talking to you." She stubbornly announced.
       "What do you want?" I hissed, perhaps a little too violently. 
       "I-- I know it's a touchy subject but I really want to know if you have any more information on Zoe." Alana explained, her enthusiastic tone fading away.  Alana, like me is one of the few people who doesn't think Zoe is dead-- or doesn't want to believe it at least.  That's the only reason I'd occasionally make small talk with her.  She was a close friend of Zoe's.  If she only knew what I'd done, she'd hate me.

      "Where have have you been!?" Zoe demanded the moment I entered the house.
       "It's none of your fucking business." I snapped in response.  I was obviously high-- I reeked of pot.
       "It actually kinda is, I'm your sister."  I huffed at her come back.
       "Where the fuck is Larry?  He's usually the one to be bugging me the moment I walk in the door."
        "Mom and Dad are sleeping.  They're fed up with your bullshit excuses of why you always come home late."
       "And you aren't?" I remarked.

       I found my locker, unlocked it, and flung it open in anger.
        "If I had any news on Zoe don't you think I would've told you?" I growled.  Alana didn't respond but the doubtful expression on her face was enough.  "Now leave me the fuck alone."
       "Sorry, Connor.  I just thought I'd ask.  I miss her just as much as you do.  Have a good day."  Alana apologized with one of her huge fake ass smiles.  Even when she was upset or angered, Alana would never let it show.  She'd always hide it with that smile of hers.  On the other hand, I'm not afraid to let my anger show.  Everybody already thought I was a freak anyway.
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       By the end of the day, almost everyone said "Sorry about your sister" or "Sorry about Zoe" as if she were dead.  She wasn't dead.  She couldn't be dead.  However, there was one person who stood out to me.  Evan Hansen.
       "H-- hey." He nervously greeted me as I closed my locker at the end of the school day.  I didn't reply.  "I-- I heard about Zoe.  Are-- are you okay?"
        "Oh I'm fucking perfect." I responded sarcastically and slammed my locker shut.  I noticed Evan take a small step back, expecting me to snap at him. 
       "How'd you break your arm?" I asked, changing the subject.
     "Oh umm-- I was-- I was just climbing a tree and-- and I fell." He responded.
      "You fell out of a tree?" I chided.  "That's the saddest fucking I've ever heard."  I laughed and Evan nervously joined in.  "Umm, No one's signed your cast." I observed realizing how awkward the situation was getting.
      "Oh yeah-- yeah, I know." Evan softly replied.
     "Umm-- I'll sign it, do you have a sharpie?"
     "Oh, you don't have to-- I mean-- I mean it's fine if--"
     "Just give me the fucking sharpie, Hansen." I growled.  Evan shoved his hand into his left pocket and pulled out a sharpie.  I grabbed it as he held it out to me and gripped his cast to hold his trembling arm still.
     "Ow." He pathetically whimpered.
     "Sorry." I hastily apologized and loosened my grip on him.  After I finished scribbling my name in huge letters on Evan's cast I capped and handed him the marker.
     "Oh, thanks." Evan lightly grinned.  He had a great smile.
      "Uh huh.  Now we can both pretend we have friends."
      "Good point."
      "Evan!" A new voice called.  I spun around to see Jared Kleinman approaching us.  "Oh hey Connor-- sorry about Zoe." Jared looked as if he wanted to make a snarky comment but rethought it, realizing my current situation.  Just him considering it made me wanna punch him in the face.
       "She's not fucking dead." I muttered to myself.  I saw Jared shoot Evan a doubtful look.  Neither of them knew what to say to that.
      "Umm-- Jared and I were gonna go to the mall, uh-- do you wanna come?" Evan invited me.  Jared shrugged but didn't say anything.  Today, I was planning to search for Zoe again.  Everyday I made it part of my routine.  I even walked to school today so maybe I'd find something-- but like always, I didn't.  I would spend days over the Summer when she first when missing searching for her-- but she was nowhere to be found.  I suppose it couldn't hurt to try to get my mind off of it, even if it was only for a little while.
     "Okay, sure-- I'll go." I agreed.