"Connor, wake up!" I heard Cynthia call from downstairs. I was already awake. In fact, I had been awake all night. I pretended not to hear her and pulled my blanket over my head. "Connor?" She walked into my room.
"You could've knocked first," I mumbled from beneath the covers.
"Connor, you have to go to school."
"I can't. I don't feel well."
"Con—"
"I'm not making it up this time." I actually wasn't. My whole body felt weak and tired but I just couldn't all asleep. "I haven't slept at all last night and I feel horrible."
"Okay, I guess you can stay home. Try to sleep, you need to get some rest. If you need anything your dad should be around here somewhere. I'm running to the store, I'll be back soon," Cynthia explained and left my room. I preferred talking to her over my dad because she was more understanding and reasonable than he was.
I knew why I felt so terrible and didn't care to fix it. If I die, I die, right? Who would care? Zoe certainly wouldn't.
When I heard frantic shouting between my parents and footsteps running down the stairs, I yanked my sleeve back down and slowly opened my door. Something told me to apologize to Zoe-- to try to talk to her, so I skulked over to her room and knocked on her door. I got no response. I knocked again. Nothing.
"Zoe?" I called. "I'm sorry." No response. I decided that she was either ignoring me or she was downstairs with my parents so I opened her door, which to my surprise, wasn't locked. Her room was empty, but her window was left open. A slight breeze entered the room and rustled some of the drawings she had pinned to her corkboard. Something was off about the entire scene. Something didn't feel right so I ran down the stairs in search of my parents and Zoe.
I got out of bed and stumbled down the stairs to find something small to eat. I couldn't eat too much but I needed something to help ease the pain I felt in my stomach. I went to the kitchen and started rummaging through various cabinets for something to eat.
"What're you looking for?" Larry questioned. He was sitting at the table reading the day's newspaper.
"Food," I replied. I was too exhausted to snap at him.
"Why? I thought you didn't feel well."
"I just need something small so the pain will go away, but it can't be anything too big because I don't want to ruin my chances of dying." I didn't mean to say that out loud, shit.
"What?"
"Nothing, just leave me alone."
"Connor, you aren't starving yourself, are you?" I could hear the concern in his voice. I didn't answer and continued looking for a snack. I finally settled for a pouch of Little Bites chocolate chip muffins and tried to go back upstairs, but Larry grabbed my wrist. "Connor, stay down here and talk to me."
"Don't touch me!" I shouted and tried to pull away from him. However, I was too weak and started to feel light headed as I tugged. My vision was slowly starting to blur until everything went black.
_____________________________________
I woke up in a cold unfamiliar room. I was in a hospital. Great. I noticed that I had an IV in my arm filling me with water.
"Connor?" Larry was sitting beside the bed I was in.
"Why'd you take me to a hospital?" I hissed.
"You passed out--"
"Yeah, that's probably because I haven't slept all night!"
"You haven't been eating."
"Yes, I have! I had a bag of pretzels and some of the crap Cynthia made last night. It's only been four days, I've gone longer without food before."
"Damnit, Connor. You have to start caring about yourself more, next year you're going to college. You'll be moving out--"
"Actually, I don't plan on doing either of those things because I don't even plan on being alive next year." I could tell Larry didn't know how to respond so I shoved my hand in my sweatshirt pocket in search of my phone, but the pocket was empty. "Do you have my phone?" I changed the subject. He nodded, took it out of his pocket, and handed it to me. I had a bunch of texts from a group chat with Alana, Evan, and another number, which I assumed was Jared. They were all wondering where I was and why I wasn't in school and if I was okay:
A.B: Hey Connor, you weren't in school today. Are you okay?
E.H.: Have you eaten anything?
J.K.: Are you dead man?
E.H.: He's not dead
J.K.: You don't know that
A.B.: Come on guys
A.B: Connor?
J.K.: He probably just doesn't have his phone on him
J.K.: He probably stayed home sick or something
J.K.: Maybe he just slept in and decided to stay home instead of going to school late
E.H.: I hope
A.B.: No, it probably has something to do with the fact that he's been starving himself!
A.B.: Connor
A.B.: Please answer when you can.
J.K.: What if he's DEAD!?!!!?!?!?
A.B: JARED STOP
Me: Hey I'm fine but I wish I were dead
E.H.: Where were you?
Me: Felt sick
A.B.: Connor you need to eat. Did you eat?
Me: Not yet but it looks like I'm being forced to
E.H.: Are you okay?
Me: No
Me: I'm never okay
J.K.: Same
E.H.: Jared
J.K.: What? I was only partially kidding when I said that
A.B.: Who's forcing you to eat? Did you tell your parents?
Me: My dad took me to the hospital
Me: I passed out this morning
Me: Just woke up
Me: Still don't feel great so I have to go bye.
I turned my phone off after sending that and sighed. Why did they care so much? They shouldn't care. No one should care. Everyone would be so much better off without me.
_____________________________________
A few hours later, there was a knock on the door to my room. Larry had left earlier so he could work and Cynthia had stayed with me since. She tried interrogating me about what had happened and I told her it wasn't serious. Alana, Evan, and Jared entered the room. Cynthia looked surprised.
"Oh, hello!" She greeted them. "Here-- um, I'll let you guys talk for a bit." She obviously felt awkward, especially from last night's dinner, and she left the room.
"Why are you here?" I grumbled.
"Because we're worried about you," Alana insisted.
"Wh-- what happened?" Evan questioned and sat down in one of the chairs next to my bed. Jared sat in the other and Alana sat on the ledge by the window on the other side of my bed.
"I didn't sleep last night and I didn't feel well so my mom let me stay home. I decided to eat something small to help ease the pain, but not large enough where it would stop me from dying, so I went downstairs to find a snack." I started. "Then I talked to my dad for a little bit and accidentally mentioned that I haven't been eating so he tried to stop me from going back to my room and I passed out. Honestly, it probably was just because I was tired, I've gone much longer without eating."
"What's in the IV?" Jared asked.
"I thought it was just water but I asked a nurse and she said it's a glucose drip because I'm dehydrated and don't have enough sugar in my body so that's great."
"Awesome. I wish I could have sugar injected into me." Jared joked. "Seriously though, are you okay?"
"What do you want me to say? Ah, yes I'm fine and I am not the slightest bit depressed and I am perfectly healthy both physically and mentally," I remarked.
"Hey, I'm pretty sure none of us are perfectly healthy; mentally or physically," Jared objected. "Especially me."
"Whatever."
"Have you eaten anything yet?" Alana questioned.
"I told the nurses that I couldn't eat anything big but they insisted I ate a decent meal and brought me a pb&j sandwich. I ate half of it and then couldn't eat anymore and immediately threw up."
"Alright, well you should start with crackers. They're light and you should be able to keep them down."
"Whatever."
"Do you want me to get you some? I'm sure they have some here."
"No."
"Connor."
"Fine, if you really want to get me crackers, then go ahead. Have fun."
"I will," Alana smirked and left the room in search of crackers, leaving me alone with Evan and Jared.
"C-- Connor?" Evan started.
"Hmm?"
"Are you staying overnight?"
"I have no idea, why?"
"Well if-- if you were you-- you might have my m-- mom as your nurse. Sh-- she's working tonight and I think she's in ch-- charge of some rooms on th-- this floor."
"Oh, well wouldn't that be ironic?" I smiled.
"So," Jared stood up and plopped down on the foot of my bed. "I know how it feels."
"What are you talking about, Kleinman?"
"I-- um-- I-- nevermind."
"Finish your statement, Jared." Just then, Alana barged back into the room before Jared could speak.
"I found crackers!" She announced and handed me a box of Saltines.
"Great," I remarked sarcastically. "Shouldn't you guys be leaving now? You should go home and eat dinner or whatever."
"No, we can stay long--"
"That's me telling you to leave because I need rest." I interrupted Alana.
"Oh okay. See you soon then, Connor."
"Bye," Evan squeaked.
"I'll meet you guys outside in a second," Jared told them as Alana and Evan left the room.
"So, are you gonna tell me what you were starting to say?"
"Uh, yeah," Jared hesitated.
"Go ahead."
"I'm kinda-sorta depressed too, so I know how it feels."
"Huh." Was my response because truly, I didn't know how to respond.
"Feel better, Murphy. Or else," Jared flashed me a small grin and waved before leaving the room. That's when I noticed the bandages on his wrists.
YOU ARE READING
Missing
FanfictionAfter a heated argument between Connor and Zoe Murphy, Zoe decided to sneak out of the house and go for a quick drive. The drive, however, was not quick. Zoe's car was found near the park but she was nowhere to be seen. Most presume she is dead...
