Missing

Chapter 5

I was out of the hospital the next morning and spent the entire day in my bed at home.  I was forced to eat a bowl of cereal by my parents and to my surprise, I managed to keep it down.  I tried to not think about Jared.  I tried distracting myself from the fact that he could have attempted the same thing I attempted.  Those bandages.  Those damn bandages.  How did I not notice them before?  Were they new?  My heart skipped a beat when my phone buzzed.
J.K.: Hey
Me: Hey
J.K.: U still in the hospital?
Me: nope, got home this morning
J.K.: Can i stop by?
Me: if you have to
J.K.: great
    So much for taking my mind off of him.  Jared showed up at my house about ten minutes later and my dad let him in so I wouldn't have to move from my bed.
    "Sup, Murphy," He greeted me and plopped down in my rolly chair.  I groaned in response and sat up in bed.  "How are you feeling?"
    "Well, I still crave death."
    "Same."
    "Why are you here?"
    "I wanted to check in on you, yeesh."
    "Why?"
    "Because you just got out of the hospital, duh," Jared remarked.  "Also, I wanted to talk to you so you could see that I'm not that big of a dick."  I didn't reply but glanced at his arms, which were crossed so I couldn't see his wrists.
    "Jared?"
    "Hmm?"
    "Yesterday at the hospital I saw-- I noticed that-- your wrists--" I couldn't finish my sentence.  I didn't want to make him uncomfortable but I was super curious at the same time.
    "Ah, I figured you'd notice at some point." The room was silent for a few moments.
    "Did you try to, you know, kill yourself?"
    "Yeah, yeah I did."
"Why?"
"Because life sucks ass."
"Tell me about it," I paused.  "Seriously though, I would never have guessed that you of all people are depressed, Kleinman."
"Well, you don't know the real me, Murphy."
"I know that your name is Jared Kleinman and you bragged about making it to second base below the bra with some chick over the Summer."
"Shut up, Murphy."
"Sorry, Kleinman, you may continue." I flashed Jared a smug smile and Jared exchanged it, his, however, was much weaker.
"Well, I— I don't know.  What do you want me to say?"  I guess I've been depressed for like a while now and I knew no one cared about me so I— I..."
"When?"
"About a week before school started." Jared admitted.  "I didn't want to make a big deal out of it so I figured people would just think I moved or something, if anyone even realized I was gone."
"H-- how are you alive-- like who brought you to the hospital or whatever?"
"My mom found me in the bathroom and dragged my ass to the hospital."
"Oh.  Well, I'm happy you're not dead.  Trust me, I'm never happy about anything."  Jared's smile was a little stronger this time and that made me smile.  I patted my bed, trying to gesture for him to sit by me.  He noticed and sat at the edge of my bed.
"I don't know how I never noticed the bandages." I muttered.
"Yeah, me neither." Jared smirked and crossed his arms, hiding them once again.
"Maybe we both lived for a reason," I blurted.
"Yeah, maybe," Jared agreed after a long moment of silence.  "I should get going."
"Okay, bye."
"Bye, Murphy."
"Bye, Kleinman."
_____________________________________
    "Hey, you're back!" Alana exclaimed as she bounded up to me.
    "Yeah, you are quite the detective, Sherlock," I remarked.  I hadn't spoken to Evan or Alana since they visited me at the hospital.  I stayed home a couple of days because Cynthia and Larry wanted to monitor my eating habits.  I had been ignoring the texts they sent because I didn't want to socialize with anybody or have any visitors-- besides Jared that is.  He had been checking in on me day after day since I got out of the hospital.  I made him promise not to tell Alana or Evan that he'd been coming over.  Part of me felt somewhat bad for ignoring them.
    "Why didn't you answer my texts?  I was seriously worried about you, Connor.  Evan and Jared and I were gonna stop by at some point but we weren't sure if you'd be mad or what not."
    "I would have been.  No offense, but I don't like to socialize with anyone and when I feel like shit, it makes my hatred of people worse.  Not that I hate you, I just wasn't feeling the best," I admitted.
    "Oh, okay then."
    "H-- hi Connor!" Evan greeted as he approached us.
    "Where'd you come from?" I questioned.
    "English, Al-- Alana and I st-- started walking to lunch together aft-- after class."
    "Yeah, that's why I was standing over here, I was waiting for him."
    "Ah, I see.  Let's start walking."  On the way to the cafeteria, I gave Evan the same explanation that I gave to Alana.  Jared was already seated at our table when we arrived and I took my seat next to him.
    "Murphy!" He practically shouted and pointed to me with finger guns.
    "Kleinman," I said back and playfully elbowed him in the side.  I noticed Evan and Alana exchange a puzzled glance and realized that they didn't know about the time Jared and I had spent together.
    "Did you bring lunch, Connor?" Alana questioned despite her brief moment of confusion.
    "Yeah, I did."
    "You better eat it," Jared commented and I rolled my eyes.  I took the paper bag out of my backpack and pulled out a water bottle and a sandwich inside of a plastic baggy.  If I wanted to starve myself again, now would be a good time to start because my parents weren't here to force food down my throat.
    "I really don't want to but whatever."
    "Eat it or I'll shove it down your throat," Jared threatened and started to take a long gulp of his water.
    "I'll shove something down your throat," Was my response.  Only I said it so monotone that it hardly sounded like a joke.  Jared literally spat out his water and started coughing.  I smirked as Alana and Evan shared a glance of utmost confusion.
    "Really, Jared?  I'll get napkins," Alana left to go grab napkins and Evan was smiling.
    "Dude," Jared's face was bright red and that was the breaking point for me as I started laughing hysterically.  Jared and Evan soon followed until all three of us could hardly breathe, Jared even had a tear or two run down his face.
    "How could you say something like that and not expect anyone to make a sex joke?"
    "Because I'm usually the one who has to make the sex joke!"  By the time Alana returned, the three of us had rosy faces and were practically out of breathe.
    "Are you guys laughing over the same joke?"
    "Y-- yes," replied Evan.
    "Wow," Alana said with a smile and laughed a little herself while she began to soak up the water with stacks of napkins.  It was at moments like these, I didn't mind living for once.  I guess you never really realize what you have to live for when you're not staring directly at it.  It could be right in front of your face but you don't notice because you're too busy hating yourself.

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Hey there! Sorry for not updating this story, like I mentioned previously this was started years ago.  I originally planned on editing/rewriting some of these chapters but because I've been busy with other pieces, I'm just going to post what I have written so far. I don't know if or when this story will be finished but I'll try my best to work on it when I can.  Thanks for reading!