Looking good wasn't exactly my specialty. I wore the same grey hoodie to school everyday, so picking out 'nice' outfits was always difficult for me. I never wore light colors because I never wanted blood to stain the clothing. Zoe was good with fashion-- she always looked nice without even putting much (or any) effort into it.
"Connor!" I heard Larry shout from downstairs. I noticed that I'd been staring at my closet for ten minutes. I chose to keep my black jeans on and put on a black tee-shirt with a leather jacket over it. Even if my parents protested, I wasn't taking it off. It was nice enough for me. I sullenly dragged myself down the stairs and to the living room. Cynthia and Larry got up and headed to the door, ready to go. I followed them outside, locking the door behind me. I climbed into the back seat of Larry's work car while Cynthia took the passenger seat and Larry took the driver's seat.
"Where are we even going?" I murmured.
"Guess," Cynthia tried to lighten the mood. Larry responded when he realized I wasn't going to.
"The Cheesecake Factory," He announced. The Cheesecake Factory had always been my favorite restaurant. Zoe didn't dislike it, but she'd argue whenever we went because she preferred the fancy Chinese restaurant next door.After showering, I threw on a pair of old pajamas that I didn't even know I had anymore. They were a gentle sky blue and I felt awkward wearing something that wasn't darker colored. I pushed up the sleeve and used my left index finger to trace the scars on my right wrist. Zoe wanted me dead. Zoe hated me. I was such an ass to her. I fucked up.
"Larry, Connor was supposed to guess," Cynthia sighed in disappointment.
"He's not even listening-- look at him, he's probably high."
"I'm not fucking high!" I snapped at him. "I'm the one who started the conversation, dumbass!"
"Don't speak to me like that again, Connor!" Larry ordered back. Cynthia stared at her feet, but didn't say anything. None of us spoke for the rest of the car ride.
I slammed the car door shut behind me and reluctantly followed my parents into the restaurant. We were seated at a booth, so I sat on the opposite side of Larry and Cynthia.
"So what were you doing at the mall?" Cynthia tried to start a conversation. I shrugged.
"I went with some kids from school." I replied. Cynthia looked shocked while Larry was incredulous.
"Oh, that's nice!" Cynthia said smoothly while Larry rolled his eyes.
"Relax, they aren't my friends," I growled. "I don't even really know them."
"Connor I didn't--"
"I know you're shocked! Connor of all people, being social?"
"Connor, your father and I are happy for you!" Cynthia assured me.
"Pfft sure," I mumbled before the waitress came over to take our orders. I didn't order anything, I told my parents I didn't want to eat and that I had eaten at the mall which was a complete lie because I hadn't eaten anything in three days.
"This is your favorite restaurant." Cynthia mumbled.
"Yeah, so?" I hissed. "I'm not hungry."
"Connor, you should rea--"
"Fuck off Larry!" I snapped a little too loud. A manager came up to our booth and told us to shut up. Well he didn't say that exactly, but he told us to lower our voices. Larry was glaring at me from across the table. Not wanting to meet his eyes, I glanced down at my phone. I had received a text.
A.B: Hi Connor, I was just wondering if you'd like to sit with me at lunch tomorrow. I had fun today, despite our current situation. :)
Me: Sure i guess
I told my parents that I had to go to the bathroom when the food came. I didn't really have to, I just needed an excuse to get away from them. So I didn't really go to the bathroom-- I walked in the direction it was in and once I was out of sight, I turned and headed towards the exit of the restaurant. When I made it outside, I went around to the side of the building and searched my pockets for a cigarette. I couldn't find any. I usually had some on me because although it's bad to smoke, it's better (but less calming) than weed. I sighed in frustration and kicked the brick wall. I took a few deep breaths before heading back inside.
I was silent for the remainder of the dinner. Larry and Cynthia made some small comments that I ignored (although most of them weren't directed at me in the first place).
I was relieved when I was able to lock myself in my room and be alone for the rest of the night.
_____________________________________
I didn't have to worry about searching for Alana because the moment I entered the cafeteria, she bounded up to me.
"Hi Connor!" She greeted me with a huge grin plastered to her face. I didn't respond, but forced a weak half smile to let her know I wasn't ignoring her. "Where do you wanna sit?"
"Wherever," I shrugged nonchalantly. Alana lead me to a table in the back right corner of the lunch room. It was out of the way so no one would really be focused on us. We sat across from each other and I watched as Alana pulled out a neatly packed lunch from her purple bag.
"Do you have anything to eat?" She asked when she noticed I was just sitting there.
"No, I didn't pack a lunch and there is no way I'm eating the shit the school serves," I answered.
"Do you want anything from my lunch? I packed a lot. Here have this!" She exclaimed and shoved a bag of pretzels into my hands.
"I'm fine, I don--"
"Connor, you need to eat." I rolled my eyes, but I knew she was right. I hadn't eaten anything in days so I opened the bag of pretzels and started to munch on them. I had no idea how hungry I was until I started eating.
"Don't choke, Murphy!" A new voice warned mockingly. I guess I hadn't realized how fast I was eating them either. Jared Kleinman slammed his lunch tray on the table and plopped down next to me.
"What the fuck, Kleinman! Who said you could sit here?" I growled.
"Actually, Evan and I usually sit here so who invited you?" He smirked contemptuously.
"Sorry Jared, we can move--" Alana started to apologize.
"No, you can stay!" Jared insisted and started to talk to Alana about something I didn't give a shit about. From the corner of my eye, I saw Evan start to approach the table but stopped midway with a confused expression on his face. It was as if he were trying to make sure that it was the right table. He eventually, made his way over and sat down next to Alana and across from Jared.
"H-- hi, Connor. Hi Alana," He stammered nervously.
"Hey," I said flatly.
"Hi Evan!" Alana chimed.
"Oh-- Oh, h-- hey Evan!" Jared mocked. Evan looked away, embarrassed. I pitied the poor kid-- he had to put up with Kleinman on a daily basis. I didn't even realize that words were coming out of my mouth until I finished speaking.
"Screw off, asshole," I hissed at Jared, who just laughed in response.
"It was just a joke, relax," Jared rolled his eyes and I glared at him. I glanced back at Evan who smiled slightly at me.
"Why'd you ditch us at the mall yesterday?" Jared questioned.
"I was busy."
"With what?"
"Alana and I went to Ellison State Park to look for Zoe," I told him honestly.
"Umm, sorry but-- but did you s-- say Ellison State Park?" Evan queried.
"Yeah, why?"
"Oh it's just because-- because I volunteered there over the-- the Summer as an apprentice park ranger, so I know my w-- way around there. I can help you look for her if-- if you want."
"That'd be great, Evan!" Alana exclaimed before I could answer.
"Yeah, thanks," I muttered.
"I'll come too thanks for the invite!" Jared added.
"Okay! Should we go after school?" Alana asked.
"I usually do this alo--" I tried to objected but was cut off by Jared.
"Sure, I'm fine with that. Do you need a ride, Ev?" Evan nodded.
"Okay, Connor, you can come with me then and we can meet at the park," Alana suggested.
"Okay," I agreed sullenly, knowing there was no way I could talk them out of going with me. I would always search for Zoe alone, being with Alana yesterday was alright and Evan seemed nice-- but Jared was another story.
_____________________________________
Alana and I arrived at Ellison State Park before Jared and Evan. Once they arrived, I showed them which trails I already took and asked Evan if he knew of any other ways through the woods. Evan nodded and lead us to a new trail I've never seen before-- probably because there was tall grass covering the start of it, making it invisible from a distance.
"So why do you look for her at the park anyway?" Jared asked.
"Her car was found somewhere around here," I responded dryly. It was silent for a few moments after that.
"So umm-- um what exactly are we looking for?" Evan shyly questioned. I shrugged. I didn't even know myself-- I would normally walk around and just hope for Zoe to reappear or for me to find something that would lead me to her.
"Just anything that might help us find her."
"Very specific," Jared remarked and I scowled at him.
"Shut up," I mumbled. More silence followed.
"So um-- how was everyone's day at school?" Alana tried to start a conversation. Jared groaned.
"Pretty awful," Evan muttered.
"Pretty awful? More like fucking terrible," I sighed. Evan flashed a small smile at me, which I returned. Maybe if I could just make some friends, my life wouldn't be a complete waste. Alana must've saw my grin to Evan because she burst into laughter just like she had the day before.
"What are you even laughing at?" Jared asked confused and perhaps slightly worried. Alana pointed at me and I immediately turned my face away from them. Alana's uncontrollable giggling made me start to laugh. Soon I heard Evan laugh, then Jared followed suit. For a while we all just stood there laughing and for the first time in a while, I was actually enjoying myself.
Eventually the laughter died down and we all stood still for a few moments, catching our breaths.
"Did I just hear Connor Murphy laugh?" Jared teased.
"Tell anybody and I will stab you," I responded jokingly. Alana and Evan smiled at that, too tired to laugh again. Suddenly, my phone started to ring-- ruining the moment. It was Larry. I shot the others an apologetic glance and reluctantly answered the phone.
"What the fuck do you want?" I snapped at him.
"Where are you?" He demanded.
"I'm out okay? Does this really concern you?" I growled.
"I'm your--"
"I know you're my father and I don't give a shit!" With that, I hung up on him. Aggravated by the phone call, I stormed further down the trail, hoping I would get far ahead of the others, knowing I would snap at them if they tried talking to me.
"C-- Connor wait!" I heard Evan call from close behind me. I stopped in my tracks and turned around.
"What do you want?" I violently hissed, causing Evan to take a small step back. Jared and Alana soon caught up to us.
"S-- sorry-- umm-- I--" he nervously stammered. My phone started ringing again. This time it was Cynthia. I answered.
"I already told Larry, I--"
"Connor listen to me!" Cynthia ordered, stricter than I've ever heard her in a long time. I waited for her to continue. "You're father and I just worry about you-- especially after what happened with-- with Zoe. Can you please tell me where you are?"
"I'm at the park," I replied honestly.
"Connor, I don't want you there alone, it's really close to where--"
"Yeah I know, I know. I'm not alone I'm with some friends from school." I was shocked myself that I even used the term "friends" for these new people I just met (except for Alana, who I knew thanks to Zoe). Jared seemed both shocked and honored to be my friend-- which surprised me because who wants to be friends with me? Evan had a slight smile on his face but he anxiously looked down at his sneakers.
"Oh that's great honey! You should invite them over for dinner!" Cynthia suggested.
"Well there are three of them--"
"That's fine, we have extra chairs! We could fit all of them-- I'll make something good!" I didn't really want to turn down the offer when she was as enthusiastic as she was.
"Whatever, I'll ask." I put the phone to my side for a second. "My mom wants to know if you guys wanna come over for dinner."
"Sure!" Alana grinned.
"I-- I have nothing better to do," Evan responded, looked at me, and smiled.
"I guess," Jared muttered sarcastically.
"They can come." I spoke into the phone again.
"Great! You guys can come home soon to wash up and hang out before dinner is ready."
"Okay, thanks, Mom." I didn't even realize how long it's been since I've called Cynthia "Mom" until I said the word. She must've noticed too because she hesitated.
"Ok bye, sweetie."
"Bye." I hung up on her and shoved my phone back into my sweatshirt pocket. I took a few deep breaths before speaking again. "We should start heading back-- my mom said that we should be home before dinner is ready to wash up or some shit."
"Okay, lets-- let's turn around then," Evan said and started to lead the way back through the trail.
Once we got back to the parking lot, Alana and I went in her car, while Jared and Evan took Jared's car and followed us to my house.
Once we set foot in the house, Cynthia hurried to greet us.
"Mom, you know Alana. That's Evan and that's Jared," I introduced her, pointing to each as I said their names, before she could say anything.
"Hello! I'm Mrs. Murphy, but you can just call me Cynthia!" She told them. Evan shyly waved while Jared grinned.
"Thanks for having us, Cynthia!" He announced and elbowed Evan, making him look up from his shoes. I noticed that he would look at the ground or his feet to avoid eye contact with anybody whenever he was nervous.
"You should all go wash your hands before dinner, Connor show them to the bathroom," Cynthia said.
"Alana, you can go use the upstairs bathroom-- and take Jared. We'll use the downstairs bathroom," I instructed, gesturing to myself and Evan at the end. Alana had been over too many times when Zoe was still here-- she knew her way around the entire house.
Once we all washed our hands, we went upstairs to my room before dinner. I plopped onto my bed and buried my face into my pillow. I felt someone sit at the edge of the bed but I didn't bother to look up to see who it was. I heard someone jump onto my rolling chair at my desk and automatically assumed it was Jared.
"You okay, Connor?" Alana asked. The voice came from the edge of my bed, so she must be the one sitting there. I groaned. "I'm taking that as a 'no'--" She was interrupted by a loud crash. I sat up to find Jared on top of a noticeably disheveled Evan with my rolling chair lying on the ground not too far from them.
"What the hell?" I hissed.
"Oops..." Jared muttered and rolled off of Evan.
"I was gonna tell you to get off that chair-- and why were you sitting on the floor, Evan?" Alana sighed.
"I-- I didn't think he would fall on me!" Evan objected.
"I'm unpredictable-- you should know this by now," Jared smirked. I noticed Evan wincing as he sat up. He was rubbing his cast. I dragged myself off my bed and sat next to him.
"You okay?"
"Yeah-- yeah I'm fine."
"Really? Cause you have a broken arm and Jared probably just made it worse." I glanced at Jared who simply shrugged it off.
"Yeah-- umm my arm-- my arm kinda hurts but it's fine it--"
"Dinner is ready!" Cynthia called. I sighed before leading everybody downstairs.~~~
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Missing
FanfictionAfter a heated argument between Connor and Zoe Murphy, Zoe decided to sneak out of the house and go for a quick drive. The drive, however, was not quick. Zoe's car was found near the park but she was nowhere to be seen. Most presume she is dead...