BREATHE [✔]

4.Grief

Chester

I woke up to the sound of someone banging on my door. I closed my eyes in the hopes they would understand and leave. But the banging only increased until it was unbearable. Throwing the covers off my body, I barely stood on the cold dry floor with nothing but my bare feet. Before I moved I felt three things in that exact moment  

Guilt

Sorrow

Anguish.

It was the worst morning or afternoon I had had all week. Depending on how you looked at it. Considering it was 3 pm in the afternoon. And a lot of my body parts ached with each movement. But the pain was so familiar I welcomed it with a wry smile.

I swung my door open only to be blinded by a Conrad with a wide annoying smile plastered on his face. Men in space could notice. It was too early for this type of happy or bright Joyful appearance.

"Whoa, you look terrible. Did someone die?"

"My sleep, "I groaned without even looking at him.

"Oh ok. Take a shower you are coming with me. " Conrad said smiling with that annoying blinding beautiful smile.

"Nope. " I said shutting the door in his face. I walked back to my bed and crawled into my still-warm bed then cuddled up like a ball.

I fell asleep to Conrad's screams and banging outside my apartment door. Its a gift really falling asleep that fast. And I cherished this gift. I woke up two hours later and the silence notified me that Conrad had eventually left. I would, who wouldn't? I Dragged my feet as I made my way to the door. I opened my door to get mail but instead, a slightly annoyed, bored-looking human fell on its back with a huge thud.

Conrad's face brightened up in an instant. Conrad Judd, ladies, and gentlemen. Yup, definitely a mess of a human. Sat on my stoop for at least two hours, wow. Colour me impressed I thought. And all he had to show for his long wait was a cheerful face, which I hadn't quite figured how he managed to keep. 

" Do you not have a house?" I asked sounding more annoyed than I was.

"I do!"

"But..?"

"I was waiting for you! I am not going anywhere until you go with me where I need you to."

"Oh yeah, pass ."

"That won't work sorry."

"Okay, listen here Conrad. Quit stalking me we are not even friends we legit have one class together and I am pretty sure there are at least three hundred other people in it. And I have plans."

"Plans huh, let's hear them ."

So the thing was, I was a decent liar but here I was in the one moment in my life where I needed to lie for a good reason but I could not come up with a single thing. It was as if my brain had gone on strike.

"I have to ..."

"I am not taking any excuse you formulate or a no ." Conrad reminded me with a smirk on his face.

"What exactly did I do in my past, life to deserve this ."

"I have ideas," he said smiling before continuing "you coming or what ?"

"Listen here, pretty boy -"

"Why is pretty boy even considered an insult?"

A little dumbfound I blinked silently.

"Call me a pretty boy again," he said giddily like a two-year-old.

"Of course this would excite you," I said annoyed. And I suddenly understood why Squidward was always annoyed with SpongeBob. Its all the excitable energy, just like the one Conrad was showing.

"Am I the prettiest boy you know? " I don't know. how it's possible but his smile grew wider.

"As a matter of fact, you are. Okay, fine since I am guessing you are actually not going to leave I will go. But please for the love of all things and jelly tots stop being soo flipping happy.

***

As I sat in the back booth of a homey looking restaurant, Conrad went on and on about ...something.

"So what did you want to show me?"

"What would you like to eat?" He asked ignoring my question.

"I don't know anything ."

He raised a finger to signal for a waitress. Her face lit up when she saw Conrad they got into a long conversion of pleasantries and sort. Okay, it probably wasn't that long.

She was tall, friendly and had her hair tied in one of those perfect ponytails. she had a distinctly pleasant scent of watermelons and coffee. Sugary and intoxicating but in a good way.

"Her name is Xena ." He said stirring his coffee.

"Um okay ."

"You see Xena is one of the very few people that has been through the worst life anyone could ever have. "

And with that I really looked at her . yes she was happy. and cheerful but if you looked close enough you could see the eye bags beneath her eyes and the rough healing scars on her neck.

"Okay, so my point of all this is, I know you are going through something right now. "

He handed me a tissue which I wasn't aware I needed until he gave it to me.

"you might know, you might not know but All I can tell is it will get better even if you feel like, it will not ."

I awkwardly scrunched the used tissue in my hand and I did not know where to throw it away.

"You see how Xena takes on the world. She doesn't let her scars define her she defines them. And she is one of the most remarkable human beings I know."

"Umm, Do I say thank you now.  Because I am bad at this."

"No that's not why I am doing this, I saw a soul in distress and I decided to help." He said taking looking up at me with concern on his face.

Xena brought our meal which I was not surprised to see was waffles. they looked amazing. Although it felt weird and exciting to be having breakfast at ten pm. And it was even weirder that as I enjoyed my pancakes I watched Conrad flirt with Xena one more time. I felt a funny discomfort in my chest. 

Written [12.01.19]

Edited [22.02.20]