It's been a week.
Luke made me give the ring back. I wouldn't give it to him, because it meant we were over. I kept on crying and screaming at him not to do it. But he basically grabbed my hand and forced it off my finger.
Then he just left. I haven't seen him all week, not once. He never came back to the apartment. He didn't call text, nothing. I tried to call him and text him, but he never picked up nore texted back.
I had been in the apartment, in there all week. I haven't gone out once, except to go and get drinks and medicine and other things like that.
I had gone into a sort of depression. It wasn't fair, he was doing fine, I saw pictures of him in clubs with fans and groupies and girls, he was smiling it up, laughing. While I sat at home not eating, not doing anything, I just took sleeping pills on a constant, whenever I woke up, I just took another one.
It was probably unhealthy, quite toxic.
How could he say he loved me and then just forget about me like it was completely nothing. I knew this would happen but I couldn't cheat on someone then never tell them. I had so much guilt, I still do.
I didn't know how my mind worked, how loved worked. I was on summer break for school, yet I was majoring in Phycology, the study of behaviours. That's why I went toward the field, because I understood others, just not myself.
Life felt weird without Luke, like there were only two ways.
Either live without Luke, watch him be happy get married to another women, and have kids, which is something he told me dreamed about. Its not that I hated them it's just I wouldn't wanna be one, because I know I wouldn't be a good one. Luke knew that, which only backfired at me, making it an easier decision to leave me.
And the other option was just to leave. Luke wasn't someone you got over slowly, he was some that you would call " the one that got away".
Luke wouldn't ever fade from my mind even with all the things he has done. He would remain there till the day I died. And when I mean leave I didn't mean the city, or country, or continent. I meant the world.
Which seemed like something many people frown at, but sometimes that's the only way.
My pills were starting to kick in me becoming sleepy and dizzy while I leant over the bed.
My text tone rang on the bed, I looked over my vision very blury. All I could make out was the contact name being Luke. I couldn't see anymore as I started to blackout, things all black with outlines around them. Being all to familiar with this reaction to when I was 10 I had them sometimes.
I collapsed onto the bed, eyes wide open, but seeing nothing but black.
👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽
Hi guys let me know what you think even tho tho it's kinda a filer chapter
Love u 💕
