Same, but Different

•Chapter VIII•

-Will edit at a later time-

Eren

"And if casual sex is what's equivalent to what you wanted me to be, I'm glad that I couldn't be with you because I wouldn't want to be used like that."

I bit my lip, sitting in my room without much going through my head other than the fact that I was pissed off. I mean, how dare he assume that all I would want him for was casual sex. If he had listened to a word I said during that stupid confession, he'd know. He'd know I wanted a family, that seeing him made my heart swell, he'd know. But he doesn't. He doesn't know because he doesn't care, because I'm probably the kind of guy a person like Levi would never seek out for a relationship. I'm probably the kind of guy who, if I didn't have Titan, Levi would've walked straight past without a second glance, or maybe he'd have seen me and thought I was a dirty street rat with nothing better to do than spend money on drugs or sell my body. I'm the kind of guy who could disappear and only have one person notice, and that person would be Titan.

I shook my head vigorously. I couldn't disappear, I couldn't leave Titan behind. He had Levi and Aki, but I was his father. My mood quickly changed from anger to sadness, and I wiped away my tears to do something more productive but ended up in the bathroom sitting in the bathtub with the shower head on despite being fully clothed.

I felt contaminated, toxic. I felt dirty. Levi hated me now, and the brutal truth was that I had no good qualities to stop him from doing so. I needed to do something. I didn't know what, but I needed to do something. Anything to help me get my mind off of what it was currently on.

"Fuck..." I swore quietly, the word not having left my lips since Titan was born. I stripped myself in the shower, leaving the clothes in the tub, and hopped out stark naked before wrapping a towel around my waist. "Fuck."

I resisted the urge to punch anything, closing my eyes and imagining my ex-finaceé.

"Deep breaths, Er. You can do it. Just relax." And then she'd laugh and make jokes about how her words felt like labor training. It wasn't even her words that calmed me down, it was her beautiful melodic laugh.

I took shaky breaths until my breathing calmed and blood stopped boiling.

"I'm glad I couldn't be with you..."

I punched the mirror beside me as Levi's words entered my head, cursing loudly when it shattered and cut my fist. For all I knew, it could've been broken. "Dammit!"

I heard my door open and looked to see Aki staring wide-eyed up at me."Mr. Eren, should I have Papa take you to the hospital?"

"D-Don't call your father," I stuttered out, slightly scared by the thought. "Or Titan, I don't want to scare Titan. Could you just, like, get me a first aid kit? I'll clear up the glass, I just... I might need to go to A&E. I can go alone."

"I want to go with you. I'll leave a note on the fridge. Why did you do this? You can't heal super quickly anymore, Mr. Eren." Aki shook her head and then returned with a first aid kid and some gloves. As carefully as she could, she began removing the glass from my hand. "That was a nice mirror..."

"What do you mean 'anymore'?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing. "And I'm sorry, I promise I'll replace it."

She just ignored me and began to apply medicine and wrap my hand. "Can you drive? Should I get my money and call a cab or Uber?"

"I have a license, I don't have a car." I replied, "But Aki, I'll pay, seriously. I can't let you pay."

"We can take Papa's car. Your money should be going into a savings account, not on this... or alcohol..." Aki whispered the last bit under her breath, studying my hand.