Because he loved him..

6. Grief

'There's no companion more loyal than your absence. It follows me everywhere.'

*Amay's point of view*

I was so lost in the memories that I don't even remember when I was led out of the room and dropped back at my home, that night.

The following few days passed in a blur. My routine was set. I would go to the church, help dad with the service, work in the garden, pray that Samar gets his job and cry myself to sleep.

Sometimes, I would find myself praying for some miracle to happen and getting out of this mess but mostly I found myself crying.

Mrs. Clay thought I was missing Samar and tried cheering me up but there was not a lot even she could do.

I kept wondering about what I did to deserve this.

A week later, I was helping dad clean up after service when he asked me what was bothering me.

He must have picked up how low I had been those past few days. I almost broke down when he ruffled my hair remarking how I was still the little child who cried missing his best friend.

I hugged dad. It was rare for us to hug but Sam told me that I still hugged dad more than the usual teenage boys. Sam's dad passed away before he was born and it made him very upset sometimes.

The shuffling of feet drew my attention towards the gate where the blonde kidnapper and his usual entourage sauntered into the church.

Arlo's dad, dressed immaculately, walked in the middle of the group and a priest brought up the rear.

My dad stopped picking up the flowers and turned to face them.

"What are you doing here, Merchant?" He glared at the visitors.

I winced. I had never heard my dad talk to someone like that before. He must really not like them.

"My brother wants to get married" Blonde guy replied. So, he was Arlo's uncle.

With a jolt, I realised that they were talking about me! He wanted Dad to marry us?

Oh my goodness! Please don't let dad know about it. He will hate me.

Dad took a deep breath and I could see he was struggling to keep himself calm.

"Where's the bride?" He asked.

At this, he beckoned me over. Dad frowned. I didn't want to move but finally, I braced myself and walked over.

I knew if he knew, he would try to save me but I can't allow him to get into this mess. The Merchants were a dangerous lot.

It will hurt Samar, he wouldn't believe it but he had to believe it to make it work. He must hate me to move on and, if dad hated me too, it will just make it all easier for him. They all needed to hate me for this to work.

"Amay!" Dad called. The other priest stepped forward and put his hands on my shoulders.

"No! No. I won't allow this. I won't stand for this abomination. I won't let my son marry a man!" Dad shook his head.

"Now, Now! God loves us all equally regardless of our orientation." the other priest supplied.

"I am talking to my son!" Dad shouted and I flinched. Dad was really angry. I knew he was against homosexuality but to see such anger was still unnerving.

"Amay, you don't know them! They are murderers. How can you marry someone like him?" dad all but pleaded.

"I can marry whoever I want, dad." I replied calmly, even though I was screaming in my mind.

It all happened in a flash. I felt it before I could figure out what happened. His palm was imprinted on my cheek.

It throbbed and my hands found their way to them. A pin drop silence engulfed the church.

Dad had slapped me. My Dad, who had never even raised his voice at me, had hit me.

Strangely, I felt as if it was justified. I was feeling a bit numb before it but it almost made me feel again. Almost.

"Please son! I don't want to lose you too! He took her the same way. " Dad pleaded desperately.

Her? Who was dad talking about?

"If you don't want to conduct the marriage, please step aside." The other priest said and I sniffed.

The pain I felt was nothing compared to what came next.

"Your mother would have been so disappointed" He spat and left the church.

It pierced my already bleeding heart. I guess I deserved it for doing this to dad.

I wanted to shout, Stop dad! Don't leave! Please save me! Please come back!

He didn't even look back once. It was the worst thing he could do to me. All my life I have been trying to be the ideal son. I never put a toe out of line. A chuckle escaped me and soon it turned into sobs.

This broke the spell for everybody. Arlo's uncle nudged the priest who started reading the vows.

I didn't hear a thing and after a while, someone nudged me.

"Do you, Amay Springfield take this man, Karim Merchant to be your lawfully wedded husband in health and illness, with your heart and soul?"

"I do." I said trying to keep the trembling out of my voice.

"You may kiss your husband now"

I heard the priest say. Karim turned towards me and snaked his hands through my waist. I stopped breathing. I looked up at him, tears brimming in my eyes.

He leaned his face closer to me and I shut my eyes close, leaning away from him. I didn't even want to think about it but my own words to Sam echoed in my head. 

"You will kiss me and I will kiss you and dad will get us married. "

There was a suffocating pain in my chest. I missed Sam, I wish it was all just a dream and I would wake up and find myself in his arms on the hill. 

I felt a pair of lips on mine and stumbled back. My heart raced. It was tender and yet there was no mistaking the domination in it. There was no going back now. No miracle would save me now. 

I felt his grip tighten on my waist and I whimpered. 

It wasn't a dream. I was really married now. I was married to Karim.

Karim stared at my eyes for a few seconds and let go. I bowed my head trying to steady my breathing.

Someone started clapping and hooting. I knew it was his brother. I bowed my head down. A few tears escaping my ashamed eyes.

Karim held my hand firmly and led me out to their car. I wanted to turn and look back at my home but I kept staring forward.

When the car started moving towards our destination, I gave in and looked back at the church for one last time and closed my eyes to keep it safe in my heart.

*Phew! This was kinda draining. A bit intense, don't you think?*