Dimples

Chapter 15

Happy Thanksgiving!! I love you guys so I thought I would update even though you didn't reach the goal. But that's okay. I'm so grateful for you guys and I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving. Vote if you are watching the Macy's Day Parade! I am! This chapter isn't edited so comment any mistakes you find. Thanks. I love you babes!
~outofbreath27

I am immediately wrapped in Calum's arms which shocks me a bit. He holds me until I hug him back then pat his back for him to let me go. Michael is next and although we didn't really talk much, he hugs me longer than Calum did. I blush a little at their affection and tear up.

"I'm fine guys." I lie to them with a fake smile. They give me weak smiles back before they lead me into the kitchen where Josh is talking to Luke. They smile at me briefly before going back to their conversation. Ashton slips his hand into mine as he stands beside me and I smile before turning to look at him. He smiles back at me making butterflies erupt in my stomach as I blush and look down. Josh comes over to me after a few minutes and gives me a short hug before kissing me on the cheek.

"Luke and I are going to go out for a while. We'll be back by morning at the latest." He tells me before he goes into the living room to grab his coat and wallet.

"Okay." I say with a grin. "Use protection." I joke but it's really hard for me to smile. It seems like the only person who makes me happy anymore is Ashton.

"Ha ha. Very funny." Josh replies as Luke blushes slightly. Luke comes over to give me a quick hug before following my brother out the door. And then there were four.

"We should probably get going too. We have a couple of things to do and I wanted to visit the other boys for a while before I have to start packing." Calum comes over to give me a hug.

"Packing?" I ask confused.

"Yeah. Michael, Luke and I are going back to Australia until the tour starts back up again." He explains as Michael gives me a small hug. And then there were two.

"Do you want to sit down?" Ashton asks in a worried voice but I shake my head.

"I want to lie down. It's hurt to sit." I explain with a blush. He guides me as I limp to my room, wincing a few times from pain. He starts to walk me over to my bed but I lead us to my closet and look for something else to wear. I feel gross in the clothes I wore to the hospital. I find some shorts to wear but can't decide on a shirt to wear when Ashton comes back into the room. I didn't even notice him leave.

"Here." He holds out one of his shirts and I grab it and wait for him to turn around before I turn my back to him and take my shirt off. I take a glimpse into the mirror and you can already see the baby fat leaving my body. There is gauze wrap taped onto my skin where they had to surgically remove the baby from me. They said that it was either surgery or I had to give birth to a dead baby. I chose the first option. I feel tears filling my eyes and I quickly pull his shirt over my head to hide the bandage. I pull the shorts over my bare legs but stumble a little from not balancing myself properly. Ashton must have heard my feet try to fix themselves because the next thing I know, he have most of my weight in his arms.

"Sorry." I mumble and try not to cry more. I'm so pathetic. I can't even get dressed without needing his help. He turns me around in his arms and wipes his thumbs under my eyes with a sad look.

"Why are you crying?" he asks before taking my hands and leading me to my bed.

"I'm always going to have a scar." I finally weep. "I'm always going to be reminded that I lost my baby." I cry but pull away from him before he can comfort me. I don't want to be held. I want someone to blame. Or to have someone blame me. If I hadn't gone to sleep or if I would've dreamt something else. Maybe if I had stopped the dream, she would still be alive.