Chris's POV
Cold. The only thing I really felt was cold. No pain, no aching, just cold. A constant chill that filled my body, inside and out. But there was one other sensation I could feel. It was nothing but the faint outline of a dream, but I remembered it. It was the soft warm touch of Melissa's hands on my face. The comforting feeling of her thumb brushing over my cheek, and then the cold stings of her tears falling to my face. I held onto that feeling to keep me going. It was like trying to listen closely to the last parts of an echo, but I did it. I knew I did when my eyes slowly opened to the sight of Melissa being wheeled toward my hospital room. I saw her biting her lip as she craned her neck to see me through the glass window. She eagerly leaned forward once the nurse pushed her into my room and she grabbed my hand.
"I'll just be outside," The nurse said as she patted Melissa on the shoulder. Mel turned to the nurse and quietly thanked her. She then turned back to me, her hand in mine and put her other hand on my cheek. It was a relief. I no longer had to hang onto that faint feeling, but rather savor the moment. I struggled to turn my head toward Melissa, groaning with pain.
"No, Chris, just rest, you don't have to move. I'm right here." She whispered.
"Melissa," I croaked out, "I am so sorry. I should have known better. All I've ever wanted was to protect you, to keep you safe. I failed at that and I'm so sorry. I just-"
"No, I'm sorry, this is all my fault." She said.
"Are you kidding me? You weren't even driving!"
"Well, you wouldn't even have been on that drive if it wasn't for me! You wouldn't have been distracted, you wouldn't have proposed." She took her hand off my face and looked down, almost ashamed. "You wouldn't be here in the hospital. It's all my fault, I just--"
"Melissa, I don't blame you for any of that. I don't regret being on that drive with you. I loved seeing you so happy, even if it was only for a little bit. I don't regret proposing either. I meant it, I want to marry you." I said, trying to get her to look at me. She kept looking down. I could sense that she was thinking about something, she was making a decision. "I would go through a thousand car crashes just to ask you to marry me."
Melissa looked up at me with a small smile, the same smile she had when she was about to answer my question in the car. But then she started to look me up and down. She inspected the bruises and cuts on my face, and her eyes darkened. Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes and her lip started to quiver. She looked so sad. Sad like when she had an anxiety attack. Sad like when she lost the baby. Sad like when she tried to break up with me. "Well, I-I don't want to marry you." She finally said.
I didn't know what to think. "What?" I whispered.
She yanked her hand away from mine and looked down at her hands again. "I-I don't want to marry you. I never did." She looked back up at me, this time tears were streaming down her face. Her voice cracked. She sounded devastated. "Do you want to know the real reason why I didn't want to buy a house with you? It's because I didn't want to, and I didn't love you enough to. In fact-" She uncrinkled her brow and made a straight face. "I don't love you anymore, not after what the crash did to my leg, what it did to me. This is over. We are over. I can't marry you." She couldn't even look at me when she said that last part. I was just in shock.
"Melissa, you can't possibly mean that," I said reaching to tuck her hair behind her ear. But she grabbed the wheels of her chair and rolled out of my reach. I knew what she was doing. She blamed herself for what happened to me. She was trying to protect me, but I didn't need protecting. As long as I was with her I was okay. How could she not see that?
"Well, I do." She said, trying to keep the straight face, but the tears flowed down anyway. They spread down her face, making her cheek look like glass. How could someone so sad be so beautiful?
I opened my mouth to say something.
"Nurse!" Mel shouted before I could make a sound. "I'm ready if you could wheel me back--please."
The nurse stuck her head in and tried to not make it obvious that she was listening to our conversation. "Of course, sweetie." The nurse walked over to start wheeling her away.
"Mel, please," I whispered one last time, but all she did was shake her head.
"Goodbye, Chris," And just like that, she was out the door.
Melissa's POV
"Melissa, I don't blame you for any of that. I don't regret being on that drive with you. I loved seeing you so happy, even if it was only for a little bit. I don't regret proposing either. I meant it, I want to marry you." Chris said.
I looked up at him and gave a weak smile. I wanted to marry him too. I wanted so bad to just scream "I want to marry you, too!" out loud for the entire hospital to hear, but all I saw were the cuts and bruises on his face. All I saw was his injured body laying on that hospital bed. I thought of all the stitches that lay under that hospital blanket, and how none of this would have happened if it weren't for me. The longer he was with me, the more he would be hurt. I brought pain and tragedy with me wherever I went. If I truly loved him, I needed to keep him away from me. But I knew he wouldn't let me do that. The last time I tried to leave him in order to protect him he wouldn't let me. I knew there was only one way to do this.
"Well, I-I don't want to marry you," I said. The words coming out of my mouth felt like an echo. I stared at Chris. He was in shock.
"What?" He whispered.
I looked back down at my hands. I didn't want him to see how much this devastated me. I didn't want him to see how much my heart was breaking. "I-I don't want to marry you. I never did." I finally looked back up at him. He looked confused and crushed. "Do you want to know the real reason why I didn't want to buy a house with you? It's because I didn't want to, and I didn't love you enough to. In fact-" I forced the words out of my mouth. It was so hard to say such awful things, but the thought of Chris being safe kept me going.
I made a straight face, I had to make it believable. "I don't love you anymore, not after what the crash did to my leg, what it did to me. This is over. We are over. I can't marry you." Saying that last part almost broke me. I was so sad I couldn't even act like I wasn't. I looked down, biting my lip to keep from sobbing, to keep from telling him the truth.
"Melissa, you can't possibly mean that." He reached to tuck my hair behind my ear, but I tore myself away and rolled backward.
I really didn't mean it. "Well, I do," I said.
I called the nurse in and I tried to drown the sounds of Chris begging me to stay. All I wanted was to run into his arms. To kiss his lips one last time. To wake up with him. But I said goodbye, and the second the nurse turned the wheelchair away from Chris I just broke down. I kept my shoulders straight so he wouldn't see my crying, but in reality, tears streaming down my face. My eyes were filled with more sadness than ever before. I silently sobbed. I wanted to be with Chris forever, but forever is a happy ending I would never have.
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Author's Note
sorry that this chapter is really boring. i feel like the story is kinda getting repetitive but I hope you enjoyed anyway. THANK YOU FOR 2.5K READS!!!! Please leave any suggestions in the comments!!!
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