Art Of Letting You Go ✓

lxiv.

+ play 약속 by JIMIN

I dropped myself on the couch, exhausted even though all I did lately was sleep. I sighed and closed my eyes.

I heard the door click open, catching my attention as I quickly turned to the direction where it came from.

It was Jimin. I felt my chest get heavy as I saw him— still making me remember about the night he told me about everything, basically his painful part.

I expected him to ignore me, but instead, I was met with an angelic smile from him. "Hey, Saerin."

"Are you.. mad at me..?"
I stuttered, watching him make his way to me.

He shook his head, the same smile plastered on his lips. "I'm sorry for giving you a hard time."

"What do you mean?" I mumbled, tongue twisted as I spoke quietly. I feel guilty for some reason - although I have no idea about what he's saying.

He sat beside me on the couch, caressing my hair and facing his body towards me.

"It feels good.." He sighed in relief, "Letting out all those feelings."

I don't know what to say. I stayed quiet, finally looking at him cautiously.

He softly smiled and I gulped, forcing a smile too. "Don't worry," He held my cold hands in his warm ones.

"I'm okay," He assured me, as if he knew what was going on in my mind.

"Jimin..." I muttered, feeling my heart ache every single time our eyes met. "I'm sorry. I really am."

"Saerin, I told you, I'm okay." He paused, "I survived 15 years of being second-lead, I'm fine," he joked.

"Jimin-ah," I hit his arm with limited strength, as I chuckled nervously, not noticing tears of guilt streaming down my pale face.

"I'm so sorry." He said, also tearing up as he held me closer.

"For what?" I uttered, looking up at him.

"For loving you too much." He kissed the back of my hand, his tears falling on my skin.

"I'm sorry too," I buried my face in his chest as I cried harder until no tears were left to fall.

"For what?"

"For not being able to love you back."

Jimin sighed and pressed his delicate lips onto my forehead. "It was never your fault."

"You deserve so much more. There are people you haven't met yet who will love you the way you deserve to be loved." I clutched his hands in mine, trying to comfort him.

"If flowers can teach themselves how to bloom after winter passes, so can you."

"I want you to be happy, too, Jimin, because you deserve it. I want you to be happy because it makes me happy to see you have the happiness you deserve."

"I know. That's why I'm letting you go." He forced a smile as his eyes also leaked tears. He wiped my tears with his thumb gently.

I was out of words.
He's letting me go...?

"It aches because I'm letting someone go who was never really mine. I'm setting someone free who was never mine to begin with." Every word that came out of his lips sounded like it was pulled from the very bottom of his torn heart.

"Maybe you weren't the one for me, but deep inside I always wished you were. Because getting over you is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do, I haven't even started yet."

"Can you promise me one thing?" He stared deep into my gloomy eyes.

I pursed my lips and nodded, covering my mouth as muffled sobs came out.

"Don't hurt yourself."

"And if you ever do, I'll always be here. One call and I'll hug you until you're relieved from pain." He smiled bitterly.

"Thank you, Jimin."

"I love you." He mumbled in a cracking voice under his breath, but I still managed to hear.

"I—" Jimin cut me off by saying,
"You don't have to."

I scooted closer and placed my arms around him, burying my face in his chest as I cried, repeatedly mumbling, "thank you."

He gently caressed my back, rubbing circles as he soothed me along with his voice which sung a beautiful melody.

I sit alone, slumped down
And I break myself down with these thoughts
You probably don't even know
When you started hurting me

You're hurting too 'cause you're mine
I just want to blow your mind
You're only drifting further away like this
I say that it's all fine
The truth is that's a lie

I finally let my eyes close, bit by bit falling into deep slumber. It was because of a lullaby sung by an angel.

__________________________________________

Jimin stared at her as if she was the most precious thing, and indeed, she was the most precious one for him.

His hand ran through her tear-stained cheeks, a teardrop finally falling out of his own eyes.

"You are the best thing I never had."

Placing a blanket over her motionless body, he stood up and made his way out to the balcony.

There he stood, finally breaking down, his emotions turning into endless tears.

The stars shined brightly, and the entire universe told him that there was more to this heartbreak.

Taking his phone from the pocket, he called a certain person.

The caller ID labeled as Taehyung answered in less than a minute.

"I'll do it." Jimin says, his soul weakening as he finally gave up to the guy she loved.