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I sat in the back of the class trying to seem invisible. I was failing. Miserably. The constant snickers and laughs coming from each direction only made me feel exposed.
"I swear I can't see her with the lights off"
"Ain't no way shes that black!"
The words that left the mouths of my classmates pierced my heart, but I try to ignore them. Just like I was trying to ignore him casually sneaking glances at me as he pretended to watch the docu. We hadn't talked since the breakup. We hadn't even been within 3 feet of each other until today. Luca was to different now, a different I didn't wanna know.
His knotted dreads and exotic look attracted me to him, and his love for design. Even though I dated him for the sake of my parents, I had real feeling for him. I don't think he felt the same. If he did I would never accept it, considering he was causing me just as much pain as anybody else.
He ran a hand down his face and knitted his brows as I glanced in his direction. The light lick over his bottom lip caused me to roll my eyes.
Luca could never have me again.
Lucky for me Zein and Leslie had fell asleep during the documentary. Their usual behavior didn't shock me, but they'd been in for a rude awakening when Mr. O gave the quiz on it tomorrow. I'd been partly paying attention while finishing sketches in my sketchbook.
The face had come together perfectly. Forever etched in my mind, it was something I was going to save. I closed my sketchbook holding it closely afraid the same destruction would happen to it again, before I stood up to go to the "bathroom."I slipped from the desk, and made my way outside to the green room.
The green room was the room my family built for the school. It was for all the production events, but it was rarely used. I spent most of my time here ducking and dodging classes. Running from my problems, and finding solutions. Today, I swung from the ceiling chair Thinking about how I wasn't made for this generation of people. I didn't have the same values or interests. Everyone now is so self concerned and so judge mental. It's days like this I wished I wasn't here. I sniffled wiping the stray tears from my eyes.
I hated crying but that seemed like all I ever did. In class I was forced to be silenced, here I was free. It was rare that I felt this way, I covered my mouth as The thick tears clouded my eyes.
I was sick.
Sick of this shit.
Sick of crying.
And sick of doing nothing about it.
I'd have to hear from my mother about why I'd skipped class, and how it was bad for my Gpa, but I didn't care. She didn't have to be with those people. She didn't understand my anguish.
I took in a shaky deep breath attempting to clear my tears. Tears of pain and sorrow. I breathed in the clear air, the air that reeked of freedom. Outside of the doors marked NorthRidge High I tried to be somebody but I was always unaccepted. I never got to be who I wanted to be. It was a constant battle. Kalia the Doctor, Kalia the rich girl. Kalia the Dark Girl.
